Can someone explain this and what’s the point of reconnecting?

Question

Context-Why would a guy complain about a girl’s dry personality, then, after she apologized and stopped talking to him, try to reconnect with her even though he once said her personality made him want to back off?

Crimsyjo · Accepted Answer

One possible explanation is he wasn't getting what he wanted. Presuming his your age? He probably hoped you would be gushing over him, making him feel special and probably hoping you would be "easy" too. If by being "dry" you were just doing normal stuff and not really even thinking about him well you shouldn't have to apologise. Do you like him? His attempt to reconnect could ne a way of "well now will you give me attention?" Acting like you should be grateful he "gave you a 2nd chance". Very immature. This guy has a lot of learning to do about social interaction and relationships. You can try teach him but really depends how much you like him to be worth the effort.

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

He got from her something he didn't get somewhere else is the most possible reason.
It's simple, when you're were bad and worthless as they tried to depict you after breakup but then wanted to reconnect or wanted to win you back, their statements about you were lies and manipulation attempts. People always act in accordance of their interest. Getting you back was their interest to get something from you, defaming you was their interest either to deter others from you so you remain available for them. (this is my experience with exes)

I'm sure her friends heard about her "dry personality"

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like what he assumed about you wasn’t true at all, he allowed his assumptions of you to take the better of him , but now he realizes he was stupid and wrong for doing that , so that’s why he is reaching back out to you , Do yourself a favor and ignore his ass and don’t waste anymore of your time with him , because it will be a matter of time before he assumes something else about you and point fingers at you instead of pointing fingers at himself first , He just wants the convenience of you because the other girl that he was showing interest in, didn’t want him either , so now he is coming back to you , don’t fall for that shit whatsoever

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

I know you won't have perspective on this but, look at your age. Presumably the guy in question is also 18-24. You're both young, dumb, and stumbling around in the dark trying to figure out dating. But hey, this is how you gain experience and learn. Chances are he's just an idiot and words come out of his mouth propelled by raging hormones before his brain has engaged. It gets better. Give it time, LOL.

Ninania · Answer

Toxic people want what they can't have. Grass is always greener and all that. They'll show interest until they know they got what they wanted, then grow resentful instead of appreciative of what they have. They're incapable of having healthy relationships, they'll get bored and restless, always seeking the thrill and chase. Your guy sounds like he could be like that.

heruncommonsense · Answer

Males pretend to have female desires, which they are usually but not always good at.

Males are motivated by horniness, hunger, and hatred of women. There is nothing you can do to stop males from hating you.

Males hate to hear women speak, so he'll actually complain more if you stop having a "dry personality"

Zionne · Answer

He might be drawn to the challenge or the attention shift rather than genuine compatibility. Sometimes people realize they miss someone only when they’re unavailable, even if the original reasons for pulling away were valid. Reconnecting often says more about his feelings than about hers.

Tangxiaoxue · Answer

When a guy complains about a girl's cold personality, he may be feeling ignored, challenged, or unconquered. This complaint isn't necessarily a rejection of her, but rather an expression of his own needs and expectations—he wants more attention or emotional response.

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s a very good questions. Maybe he was in a bad mood and felt bad about what he said because he didn’t really mean it. Or maybe he was just desperate enough to try reconnecting even though her personality wasn’t his favorite.

Johannes09 · Answer

There must be some (or more less but significant) actions of perceptions in you he would've found out contradictory or uncommon. The way he wants now you to reconnect must be the neural pathways work, like if both of you used to talk much and do share time. It's simply a human reaction when something went and we don't found it in particular situation it would be in. For example holding on something for long time after it have been taken from you, you would feel empty space in your hands.

Flower7 · Answer

Because he is desperate and wants to keep her around as a backup, in case things don’t work out with the other girls.

Nikki1989 · Answer

His primary motive is likely the loss of the attention she was giving him, which is a major blow to his ego.

Alex-Snow · Answer

He sounded kike he made a mistake and also was immature about it. Do you think he misses the sex... is that part of it also?

beenherebefore · Answer

Part of him is still interested in her despite his opinion.

AviatorTom · Answer

Low hanging fruit. It's easier to deal with something you know than with something you don't.

genericname85 · Answer

cause people have needs. he probably had the need for connection and there was nobody else there to fullfill that need. so that's why he texted you.

MJVillarama · Answer

Sounds like he didn’t know what he wanted. missed the attention once it was gone

Dazlaar81 · Answer

in my opinion - He realised what he had once and what he ultimately lost.

Smegskull · Answer

Because personality only effects the desire for a relationship not the desire for a fling.

NoDecision · Answer

Because he is an idiot.

leahzrc · Answer

people have poor judgement

SweetDripp · Answer

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

BarryLiverstone · Answer

He may have misjudged her in the moment

Danny_dan92 · Answer

He doesn’t know what he wants

Sal_Monella · Answer

Revenge, perhaps.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Probably horny

Can someone explain this and what’s the point of reconnecting?

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