Why do men think every woman who is friendly to them is in love with them?

Question

Is it because they could never imagine being friendly to a woman they dont find attractive?

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

It is actually the opposite. Men sometimes do think this, but the vast majority of men do not believe a woman's friendliness means she's in love with him. In fact most men are even taught that women are not into them for small things like this.

It is far, far more common for women to misinterpret men's friendliness or simple exchanges with her as meaning he's attracted to her. Look at the way so many girls ask "what does it mean when a guy does/says (this or that)?" from just very small words or moments with a guy, thinking it means he must like them. A guy and girl can sit alone in a room together, don't even know each other, and not even speak to one another, but she will still think he's into her just because he is a male in a room alone with her, and put on an unnecessary defensive demeanor that is supposed to deter him from saying anything to her.

Females believe that guys like them just for existing at a far greater degree than guys thinking a friendly woman is in love with him.

AGreatManBro · Accepted Answer

I  once  heard from my grandma (r. i. p),  ”Never tell a man how much you want him.” now that stuck with me. I’m a guy now at the age of 28 and looking back ai can see this is from a place of hurt but also from a place of protecting your heart. Women can be Manipulative just as men can be Manipulative. My opinion debate argument is that the right guy (not perfect) but right one (who’s still human) will work through that and not play many games with you. Nor will he be so wrapped around a woman’s finger he can’t think for himself. Guys ( speaking for me) can act the part (kind caring nice sweet) only to get something ( or because they no longer care for the last girl they dealt with) and still not care if they break your heart. Let’s say God got on me about myself in that regard. (Really. One dream and I got sobered and humbled.)  a real man has direction for the relationship any man that’s like let’s just go with flow is a no no. Who really has time for that?

Chelsdope0 · Accepted Answer

I’m actually going through this right now with a coworker…. When we first met we had small talk and discovered that we are both from the same state and graduated from the same college… and other stuff… not really thinking about it I said “wow we have so much in common” seems like everything was cool between us then he started getting hot and cold… so I felt like he thought I was interested and was rejecting me.

Zionne · Accepted Answer

Some men misinterpret friendliness as romantic interest because they’re hoping for a connection or projecting their desires onto the interaction. Social cues can be subtle, and without clear boundaries, it’s easy to overread kindness as something more. Confidence and experience also play a role, those less attuned to boundaries may default to assuming attraction.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Two reasons... and one of them is women's fault. Because most men, especially young men, have very little experience with women and no one gives men a guide to women. They have to learn by doing. That means lots of mistakes along the road to becoming a man. And a lot of the women they encounter may be batshit crazy or dumb as a bag of rocks. So the guys learn all the wrong lessons. Women are their own worst enemy. Women are risk averse and primarily ONLY communicate indirectly through vague statements, cryptic "hints", and wishful thinking that men are supposed to somehow read from your minds. And then you get pissed when we fail to read your minds. Women aren't "complex", you're cowardly children. Try communicating like an adult.

HighValue · Answer

Why do women that are friendly to a man think he can read her mind and know that she is flirting with him? Multiple women will behave in the exact same way, but expect different results because they refuse to be direct is what they say and do.

Even on this site for years different women tell a behavior they did and think the man is not interested in her because he didn't respond in the way she wanted and couldn't magically read her mind to know she meant it as flirting, then other women do the same behavior and complain that a man did interpret it as flirting.

Most women just have no idea how to be direct/purposeful in their interactions with others and expect people to read their minds through sheer magic.

236color · Answer

They don't. They don't really understand much of the signals you send. The default setting is to try to get something going with anyone they find attractive. Generally it's considered a numbers game. Sort of, ""If I ask 500 girls, one of them is bound to say yes." In the 1980s that was a decent strategy. In the post "me too" dating app world, where every woman thinks she is due a 6 foot tall, 6 figure income, 6 pack man, after 5000 or so attempts, guys get burned out and give up.

Anonymous · Answer

This is both hilarious and frustrating. I read a question recently from a woman complaining that men are "too dumb" to know when a woman is flirting with them.

All of this is actually women's fault because they are the opposite of straight forward and expect men to read their minds and pick up on their subtle cues instead of just making their feelings known. So us men are left guessing whether she is flirting or just being friendly, and as you and other women make clear, we will be judged if we get it wrong.

Why can't you women just be honest and straight forward instead of expecting men to do the impossible? It would be so much easier for both sexes.

JesseP1nk · Answer

I will tell you why. And its pretty depressing. For men people are not nice towards them. If they go anywhere - for diner, for shopping etc the customer service will always be arrogant and rude to them. So we take it as a normal thing. So if someone is nice to us we might take it as we like them

Not that long time ago i went to a new place to eat lunch with my coworkers. Customer service was nice to them (they were all women) but towards me she barely said "hello". I was not rude, i was polite to everyone. Later when i asked one of the coworkers about it, she just said "Yeah , thats just how it is"

Anonymous · Answer

We actually don’t. Women on the other hand tend to think exactly what you’re saying. Just look at how many questions on here from women are asking about whether or not some dude likes them. He held the door open for me. He pushed the elevator button for me. He smiled at me. He doesn’t talk to the other women just me. He asked about my personal life. He got me a coffee. He stayed after work to help me. He defended me at work. He said hi. The Los goes on of different scenarios I’ve answered in regards to all these things that a man did to make her think he liked her in some intimate way.

strateguy632 · Answer

1, i don't and most don't, friendly is not flirting, the problem is women who are interested are too subtle.

2 no, if she is average, then friend zone is easier so can be friends without wanting more. the problem is when we hope for more we ask them out... but that does not mean "thinks is in love with him" he just asks because he does not know.

bunnyboo24 · Answer

I dont think thats true. If a man is single and he doesn't know if you are single or not and you are kind to him he might show interest. Nothing wrong with that tho

nolabels · Answer

Not all men think that way.

I don't.

I'm married.

I have many women friends, a few with whom I share deep emotional, intellectual and spiritual connections.
Not romantic love, but nonetheless, very deep connections.

Some I find to be physically very attractive, others not so much.

I wouldn't dream of thinking that any one of them is in love with me.

MikeMcMansion · Answer

The attitude…usually y’all have a bad attitude with men you don’t like. Like the one you’re displaying here for instance. Therefore a lot of men probably conclude that you’re flirting or might be receptive to them flirting with you based on those odds.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Plenty of guys are friendly to a woman they don't find attractive.. But most men don't think that, and in fact many women complain that a lot of men don't get the signs they put out..

Summeroflove · Answer

Depends on the man. Not all men are the same some people have a confrontation bias where if they think everyone’s attracted to them… They will always think that verses someone who assumes nobody really likes them may take obvious flirting as being friendly.

Flirting is also different for women too some women may only act a certain way assuming she’s being obvious while another woman may do the same thing thinking she’s being obvious she’s only being friendly.

Someone34 · Answer

I dont think they think they are in love with them if they are friendly. In my country Sweden which has a lot of problems with a lot of stuff really, where people also never talk to eachother just as finns and where induvidualism destroyed society and common courtesy.

If girl or guy is nice here to the other sex people automatically assume that you are flirting with them.

PrinceAlbert57 · Answer

I think a lot of it is fantasy. Harmless I think in most cases. You have to remember, boys grow up, unfortunately, watching porn and fantasize a lot about real life because of what has been put in their heads. Unfortunately it also brings out the dangerous ones also which feel that they can violate a woman

Fireguy17 · Answer

they don't, they are just wondering what she wants from me and I'm deciding if I want to play that game or not
I'm friendly to most everyone, it is simply how I am, but it doesn't mean that I want you or I already have names picked out for the grandchildren.
It is just a nice gesture, all too forgotten in today's self-absorbed world.

tzdc21 · Answer

The sad reason is because a lot of times women hardly ever go out of their to be friendly with men in general. Im not sayi g theyre bullies or anything but they dont normally take that extra step to show a random act of kindess to a guy. So when one finally does he thinks, oh wow she must like me, because this never happens. Its sad, but its true.

Redstang88 · Answer

No, mostly a combination of
1) Nobody is friendly to men unless they want something from us
And 2) Women’s insistence on playing hard to get and various other games involving doing and particularly saying anything BUT what you actually mean

robocop666 · Answer

Idiocy. My friend was a regular customer in a shop and thought the staff was sexually attracted to him. He asked her out and she was married. idiot.

zagor · Answer

I've sometimes had the opposite problem; women were interested but I was oblivious.

Today I had to straighten some things out at my bank and the teller was very attractive and friendly, but though some little fantasies popped into my head I didn't seriously consider that she was interested in me.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably for the same reason women think the same thing about any man who is nice to them.

A woman pretty much has to hit me over the head if she interested because I always go the opposite direction. I always assume a woman is just being nice

RavVid · Answer

Your self answer has truth in it. But one of the few cues of female interest we can pick up on is that the girl wants to talk to us and is very friendly. The other cues are sheer bloody arcane.

AviatorTom · Answer

That's not what we guys feel. When a woman shows interest in us, we feel proud, that she might consider a relationship with us, whether it happens or not.

genericname85 · Answer

because not every woman is friendly to them. most women treat them like shit. so if you treat them friendly, you stand out and that's why it seems to them that you're interested, cause you're being nicer than all the other women to them.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Which men? i have never assumed such an absurdity.

loveyouoak · Answer

Because they confuse friendliness with romantic interest.

snapkingmatt · Answer

Well, firstly you're being quite general. Not all men think that. Secondly, for the ones who do, it might be because they're being ignored by many other women. So please, be more kind.

aceleon · Answer

no, because most woman doesn't really have much of a reason to be friendly towards guys and likewise most guys doesn't see much point in being friends with a girl.

katiesmuff · Answer

That is news to me! I have quite a few male friends who I am sure are not in love with me, maybe like me as a friend, but nothing more.

ritxi · Answer

I don't think it's because they couldn't imagine being friend to a non-atractive-woman. It's because they perceive being treated better than average and they confuse that sign with interest.

On_cloud_wine · Answer

Or they think the woman is a dumb b**** and sex is on the table

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Women are difficult to understand. Seriously. That's it. She can be friendly, or cold, if a man likes her he's going to try because most women give nothing to go on.

beenherebefore · Answer

Most men are not very good at reading women that's why I'm not nice anymore LOL.

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s as good an explanation as any I’ve heard

Blueeyes81 · Answer

When one receives a cold shoulder the majority of the time and suddenly someone is nice, it so out of the norm it must mean something. Or so they think.

AgentG111 · Answer

That's completely opposite of what I think. Women that are too nice or overly friendly I'm very stand offish with. They are up to something or want something.

dfdfdffffdfdf · Answer

Unfortunately this is common  this happen to men who never get women attention, and once one of woman actually being nice to him, what u said above will happen

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Because the friendzone kind of sucks, no man wants to be there, outside of the thirsty boys.

Anonymous · Answer

Some guys do, some don't. But let's be honest, we women don't usually make it very easy for men to know our intentions.

Miristheiss · Answer

Wait,... what? They don't all love me?

dragoblack · Answer

We are unaware if women are "hinting" that they like us. It's honestly a response-result to years of women hinting instead of just communicating their intentions

Anonymous · Answer

Men don’t all do this, but when they do, it’s often a mix of cognitive bias, cultural conditioning, evolutionary wiring, social inexperience, and personal ego.

Jennz6 · Answer

@bunniesrcute  you have a good point there

Dargil · Answer

Or maybe its a disguise and she want to rip his guts out for being  nice.

LuckyJ888 · Answer

For me personally women usually don’t talk to me or just being nice so if I feel like she’s being extra kind that has to be a reason but learning from my experience taught me not to think that way and always think it’s just politeness

Anonymous · Answer

they don't but most women are not friendly to most men either way there's a huge amount of hostility towards men from women

jJanSmit · Answer

Greatly generalizing here I think with this question. All men and every woman is really exaggerating.

MJVillarama · Answer

Because some guys confuse kindness with flirting

Anonymous · Answer

I never think that, I got used to be friend-zoned by the girls I like. I also have some female friends who are not attractive, but that's because I friend-zoned them.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

I dont think you understand just how rare ot is for anyone to be freindly to us. We are usually only seen as a disposable tool

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

I don't. Most women hate black men, even black women to whom we're pride objects instead of partners.

Pohjolan · Answer

Some men hardly experienced women being friendly to them and some women have no idea how to seduce a man beyond being friendly.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

We don’t think that. Lmao! 😂 you are putting your lack of knowledge and life experience on full display for everyone to see

BruceWayne32123 · Answer

We let our hopes and imaginations take over.

stayorgo · Answer

Are you sure you got that right lots of men.
Know the game now

nawtee_me · Answer

Nope, it is ego and wishful thinking. They think themselves better than they actually are….

Shy_Steve · Answer

Because if we like a Girl we usually start by being friendly to them.

Deserter3 · Answer

Cause most rarely are and when you are you do the plausable deniability thing in case we don't like you back

Anonymous · Answer

As I've gotten older as a guy, I take what women and girls say with a grain of salt.

yotaman99 · Answer

No I know they are just most of the time not wanting to hurt my feelings

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Just finish your highschool, kid.

Why do men think every woman who is friendly to them is in love with them?

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