Why do so many men think they’re irresistible to all women?

[Anonymous]

(Besides the handsome ones, that have a reason to think so, as many women teach them by throwing themselves at them that they are); I’m talking about plain and unattractive men, who don’t attract women easily. You’ll be nice to them and show care for them and they worry because their attractive mates are having this problem, that they will, too and that it’s necessary to warn every nice female friend that they’re taken?

[KaitSyth]

Lets divide this up into quadrants:

handsome ugly

cocky 1 3

humble 2 4

Handsome cocky? Because they get lots of girls, they know they're rare. These are the guys who get laid when they visit a club or a dating app. They are statistically in the top 5% of men, and they know it. So of course they're cocky about it.

Handsome humble? Super rare, because if every girl you approach lets you know your'e handsome, it sticks. Men don't get complimented about their looks very often, so the ones that do get complimented often KNOW IT, and it makes them cocky.

Ugly Cocky? These are they who have been told "Just be confident, women like confidence" and its all they have going for them. They put on false confidence because they are hoping and praying that you'll find it attractive. And frankly, for some people it works and boosts their attractiveness and for some... well there's this category.

The last category: Ugly Humble. This is unfortunately the vast majority of men. But unless us women make a concerted effort to see them they are literally invisible to us. To prove this point I was out with some of my girlfriends once and we were talking about this. I pointed to a mailman across the street and said "How would you rate him?" "Who?" "Him, the only guy across the street." "Who? I don't see anyone" "The guy right there, in shorts" "Is he behind the mailman?" "HE IS THE MAILMAN!"

The reason why we often think all men think they are irresistible is because the ones we see either are irresistible, or act like it to try to score points in confidence. But most men aren't, and we don't even see them around us every day. The mailman, the carpenter, the garbage man. They all make our lives WORK, they make civilization comfortable, and we don't notice them until its pointed out.

[Siri137]

"Handsome humble? Super rare, because if every girl you approach lets you know your'e handsome, it sticks. Men don't get complimented about their looks very often, so the ones that do get complimented often KNOW IT, and it makes them cocky."

I don't agree, because there is also the category of 'Handsome & Clueless', because the guy in question has mental issues like autism, and doesn't even recognise a compliment (or the intent behind it) even when it's staring him in the face.

[SciencePreacher]

Dear neckbeards, I have to tell you that "cocky" as in owning a cock is not the opposite of "humble". Does this need any more clarification?

[Asker]

@SciencePreacher quite often it is. How many men cope with midlife crisis or with their beauty, fame or success as well as women do? Not many.

[KaitSyth]

@Siri137 That kind of proves my point about it being rare. Unless you're saying a quarter of all men are both handsome and suffer from sever social autism.

[PeachyPie93]

I don't know I suppose because they do essentially get attention. Else why do so many women with ugly faces, and bad personalities think they are all that? Because men let them be deluded. If she has a good body they will make her feel special so that they can sleep with them. Peoples attitudes reflect where they think they stand in the world, it isn't necessarily the truth but it is just their ego.

[KaitSyth]

"Else why do so many women with ugly faces, and bad personalities think they are all that?"
You hit the nail on the head with that. Its called hypergamy, specifically this phenomenon is hypergamic vision. So girls know that they're "looking for the best" and assume that guys must be doing that as well. This goes back to evolution. While you don't realize you're doing it for primal, "make a baby" reasons, that's where this drive comes from.

Women can only get pregnant once a year (roughly) so its a huge time investment to pass our genes on. So we look for the best investment. But then we blindly think that men must be doing that as well.

Men are looking for "anyone who will accept my genes" because they can have an effectively unlimited number of children in a year, only limited by the amount of women who will sleep with them. So they're not nearly as picky.

So a handsome guy sees an ugly (but not too ugly) girl and says "I can hook up with her tonight, I'm horny." The girl sees the handsome guy hitting on her and says "Man, if he's hitting on me, I must be as hot as him if not more." And you end up with most of us women having a deluded perception that we're 9s and 10s because we slept with some 7s and 8s who were just horny and wanting an easy hookup that night with a 4 or 5.

[PeachyPie93]

@KaitSyth LOL and guys who get ANY attention think the same thing, even if the girl just pitied him.

[Asker]

I agree with all of you, as you raise good points.

[Lionman95]

For the same reason that many women do it. It´s part of modern dating culture if you don´t have options you´re not attractive enough. The more options you have the better. It´s a trend I see developing that everybody thinks high of themselves in a toxic way and start to connect self value and the people you attract. Look at dating apps for example a person that gets no matches is viewed unattractive. Nobody wants to be unattractive. So it´s probably a pendant to all those body positive stuff around women. Guys tell themselves that they deserve the best that they are the price to win and that they are important and strong to protect themselves from doubt and other negative inner voices.

[Abhishek4444]

not all handsome men are good not all beautiful women are good not all ugly men are bad not all ugly women are bad being good is not just a word but it's a skill to make everyone happy while respecting when talking to them

[Asker]

Yes, but that’s not the point of my question. If I wanted to know about inner beauty, it would be part of my question and no one really believes in inner beauty alone. It’s just what people say they agree with, so they don’t look shallow or bad.

[Abhishek4444]

inner beauty matters more than looks as the person like me who have inner beauty will never cheat on anyone proud to be virgin and unmarried forever

[Asker]

Inner beauty isn’t the only thing that counts to people. Especially not to men.

[Asker]

You have to have some appreciation for people’s outer beauty too, or you’d just go to the pet store and buy a big, ugly dog rather than taking a lover.

[Abhishek4444]

I know human beings are too complex to understand that's why I am Proud to be virgin and unmarried forever

[Asker]

You don’t have to be unmarried and a virgin forever, regardless of looks.

[Asker]

It’s a matter of choice.

[Abhishek4444]

I am happy and it's my choice to remain virgin and unmarried forever

[Asker]

Fair enough

[SphynxUK]

Basically, any man (or woman) should have self confidence. Just because you find someone ‘plain’ or unattractive, that doesn’t mean the next person will agree with you.
I suggest you leave the man alone, and stop talking to him if you don’t like his demeanour.

[Asker]

Actually, no one finds this man attractive. He’s just a friend and it mystifies me as to how he can think everyone wants him.

[Asker]

There’s a difference between healthy self esteem and conceit.

[Anonymous]

a lot of pick up artists are just insecure guys, so they have to trick themselves into believing that in order to get the courage to approach females. however, thinking you're irresistable doesn't mean you are, and most of them get no love from females

[JHAYES317]

That’s because part of them doesn’t believe it. If they truly believed that they were irresistible, they’d find a way to make it work

[Opinion Owner]

why would pick up artists truly believe they were irresistable if they were damaged goods to begin with. the reason why people become pua is because females find them unattractive.

[JHAYES317]

Maybe female’s standards are too high. 60% of men are apparently single…

[Opinion Owner]

society is set up not for people to pair up. if leaders wanted people paired up, they would be. during the comunist times, they would just find a random husband/wife for you, and get you married. it just so happens that we're living in capitalist times where they prefer to keep the people seprate. but even in an individualistic capitalist world, ugly, and unattractive men who are not associated with pick up are still getting married. in fact, despite all the money, and effort pua spend to seduce women, they still get less results than men who never bothered with pick up

[JHAYES317]

Maybe but those men are getting settled for.

[Opinion Owner]

dont matter. they still in a better position than most pua who are pretty much by themselves

[JHAYES317]

Lol I’d rather be by myself than not be a girl’s dream guy

[Opinion Owner]

for most pua, it;s the end of their blood line. men getting settled for are continuing their lineage. its survival of the fittest and pua are just going to die off

[JHAYES317]

If I was desperate to continue my bloodline, I’d find an egg donor and do artificial insemination and raise a kid on my own before I let myself be settled for.

[Opinion Owner]

either way, u gonna be alone

[JHAYES317]

Again I’d rather be alone than not be a girl’s dream guy

[Asker]

@JHAYES317 agreed, as a woman.

[Opinion Owner]

and thats why u alone. bottom line though, even if u have a kid artificially, it's going to come out autistic, and or mentally ill, raised by someone who's also mentally ill, and will end up a pua, or incel himself, and that will still be ultimately the end of your blood line.

[JHAYES317]

So what if they are autistic? You clearly have some problems with neurodivergent people…get help.

[Opinion Owner]

means it will be the end of your bloodline regardless of what efforts you try to make. survival of the fittest. did you get triggered because you are mentally ill?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

cause you women make it sound like you are all too easy to please and satisfy.

those men who think the are irresistible to all women either aren't experience or have already bought all of your (all women's) nonsense and will only accept reality when they get a rude awakening

[Asker]

Some women’s nonsense and also nonsense that they make up themselves. You’ve got a lot to learn about white culture.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

no! is not just white people. all women from different background are guilty of this

[Asker]

Some women. Some men.

[Djaay]

Why is it that ur trying to be irresistible to all men? Every man is irresistible to someone out there , so can every woman. So why all the generalizing? Then again, why is it that the age group between 30-35 seem to have all these issues these days? What's going on with this age group?

[Asker]

Trying to be irresistible isn’t something that I do. I don’t think you’ve read the question properly. I’m talking about all the unattractive men that I know and yes, it’s weird how so many people put tickets on themselves.

[Djaay]

But looks isn't a substance one may posses. Just imagine if all men operated with thst look standard and nothing else... most women would've ever had a chance at one. So that's very shallow to depict one by looks alone rather than what comes with the full package.

[Asker]

I still ask you how many fat ugly women you’re dating. With lots of ‘inner beauty.’

[Asker]

It may seem shallow but at least I’m not being a hypocrite.

[Djaay]

First of all I'm samoan so it's nothing but common in Polynesian. Secondly most Poly girls are great heartfelt people to they're men. So that question is only pertaining to where ur at in what culture ur in.

[Asker]

Rubbish. It surely goes on everywhere; and Samoans aren’t ugly. Although sometimes you’re right that they can be fat.

[WhiteSteve]

I mean…look at me

Huh? HUHHH?….. awww😞

[Asker]

Lol I’m sure you’re not a reject…. awww

[WhiteSteve]

I’m just an old chunk of coal these days, but I did pretty alright for myself back when I was a young buck 👴

[Anonymous]

The only part of this that's remotely truthful is the being nice part. Most men will confuse compliments with flirting, not because of an inflated ego, but because women don't usually compliment men.

The majority of men really aren't that confident. Women on the other hand...

[Asker]

I respect your opinion, but you’re wrong about women. Many women aren’t confident under the surface.

[Opinion Owner]

Well maybe it's fake confidence, but A LOT of women are convinced that every guy wants to gets with her.

[KaitSyth]

This is a perfect case of "seeing where you are." The women who go out to clubs are the ones who are confident and flirtatious. The guys who go out to clubs are the ones who want to bring home a girl and know that confidence is attractive.
So anonymous guy is seeing the confident girls, isn't seeing the non-confident ones who stayed home, and is saying "all girls are confident"
Anonymous girl asker is seeing the cocky guys at the bar and club, isn't seeing the guys who aren't throwing themselves out there, and is saying "... all men think they're irresistible."

[Opinion Owner]

I have had not very attractive women think I'm trying to get with them just because I held the door open for them. Lol

[Opinion Owner]

And I don't deny that cocky guys like that exist. But they certainly aren't the majority of men.

[Asker]

I’m convinced that most men I know, don’t want me. I wish I could bottle what they’ve got lol (their confidence).

[Asker]

and I’m also seeing everyday guys feeling entitled to women half their age and twice as pretty

[Joshydavid25]

I would say more women think they are irresistible than men.. But I have noticed that some guys do have a lot of arrogance than they should and for the guys who do, maybe they have a lot of game which got them attracting a decent amount of women..

[Squatting_Slav]

Generally a lot of average men percieve women being nice to them as fliritng because of the inexperience they have and are unable to read the cues of awoman when she's genuinely attracted. I. e. looking at your lips, maintaining eye contact, playing with hair, raised voice, asking qustions laughing at silly jokes he makes etc etc. It comes down to a lack of experience really.

[selfish-and-cruel]

Are you hurt by what they think? Let them be

[Asker]

Not hurt, just irritated that ugly guys assume I must be interested when I say or do something nice, supportive, or kind; (because they must be hot, since their mates are and they buy into stuff about inner beauty being as beautiful as looking good); so their sense of entitlement to someone like me annoys me. I think they should be aiming lower in looks.

[selfish-and-cruel]

I admire the amount of free time you have. I wouldn't bother with what they assume. My life is complicated enough without dwelling on it.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

They are delusional or think their money can attract any women they desire.

No matter how handsome or pretty a individual might think they are, not everyone is going to desire them for whatever reason.

[Asker]

True also. However, it’s also true that handsome and beautiful people get more attention. How many fat, ugly people have you dated?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Fuckboys think that. I avoid women entirely, except when in immigrant communities. America culture is a joke. The only guys "throwing themselves" at women (here in the States) are all fuckboys, because they don't give a shit. Guys who do care... are wise. They're quiet, and watch closely.

[JesseP1nk]

Oh men think they are irresistible?

https://www.youtube.com/embed/8OYDiWfGuSg

[Asker]

Funny. Some do though, yes.

[Anonymous]

Same reason women who are two's, think they are 10's and feel like they deserve the same kind of men. Let's face it, to answer your question one need only loll to your own gender, cause men sure as hell aren't the only ones that do it.

[Asker]

True, I’ve known both men and women who do it; but on this occasion, I’m asking about the men who do it.

[Anonymous]

because they think they're all that and a bag of chips. my grandfather is one of these men and it's so gross🤢 cause the women he thinks likes him and has a chance with are young enough to be his daughters.

[undertaker007]

You never know unless try, have you tried bringing a guy home and see what people really think

[Asker]

@undertaker007 I’ve brought several guys home in my youth. One might say ‘too many;’ others might’ve claimed that; ‘I’m not the one who acted like a hoe;’ (like the song). A lot of people frown on lady hoes but not man hoes. It’s a double standard.

[undertaker007]

Then I would say never sleep with a man and introduce to the family only friends. When he puts a ring on that figure then take him home, your family is not going to marry him, you are because who is going to a watermelon for 9 months and sleepless nights. What kind of man you want in your life, that’s the most important question? Looks are important to a point, find someone who can make you laugh when you’re having a bad day and is willing put up with all the craziness you have in your life.

[Asker]

@undertaker007 that’s why God invented contraceptives. However, I see your point and you’re right.

[Zestyassmf1997]

Stop being nice to random men. Including myself. That shit is confusing as fuck.

[Asker]

Is it really? Well, he’s not a random. He’s a friend

[Zestyassmf1997]

Oh, well, I dunno. I guess he’s just making sure boundaries are maintained.

[Somoneelse]

Overconfidence, big ego, cocky, lies told by a "relationship guru" or simply because they are insecure deeply inside and try to hide/mask it.

[Billlewis]

I don't know. All I knew is that I just want to keep being sweet, attentive and generous.

[ProbablyClueless]

The same reason that so many women think the same about men. It's an ego thing.

[JHAYES317]

Because it’s better to live in delusion until I can afford to get cosmetic surgery to become attractive than to admit that I’m inferior in any way.

[Nikki1989]

Most men are clueless about most things. Why would this be any different.

[jahaims]

That's why we invent and build most things. We are just soooo clueless.