How men behave after losing a job or if they are interested in someone else but they are in relationship?

[Anonymous]

my man lost his job and two weeks later he went to visit a friend in another city and they went to a club. The next day, he would normally have called me at 6 a. m. after the party, but he didn't, and he didn't text me the next day either. In the evening, I asked him how he was doing. Two days passed, and he told me where they had gone and what they had done, but he didn't mention the club, so I asked him if they had gone to the club. And then he said, "Yes, we did." It's interesting that he didn't want to talk about it. In addition, he found a new girl on Instagram whom he follows. It's been three weeks since that party. Since my husband lost his job at the end of January, he hasn't been in the mood for sex, and he wasn't even before the party in Tallinn. But in addition to not allowing me to touch him, he is cold and distant with me, yet when he talks to his friend on FaceTime, he is very cheerful. When I asked if we were still together, he didn't answer.

[OneViewpoint]

I have limited knowledge of the situation but what does your husband losing his job have to do with his relationship with you? It sounds like he has self destructive tendencies. When one thing in your life goes bad, most rational people would not go trashing whatever is not broken.

Just a thought... have you been riding his ass about finding a new job? He may feel helpless in a tough economy for job seekers at the moment. If so, your pushing him may feel like an attack on him rather than support. Letting your anxiety seep into the conversation could be digging your own grave.

[Asker]

On the contrary, I have been supportive, and since we knew this could happen as early as December, I told him a month ago that he would be fine and would definitely find a new job. I even helped him write his application and he is going for an interview. It's just hard for me because I'm trying to give it my all to be supportive, but I'm getting a distant and cold man who doesn't even want me to touch him and isn't what we had before he lost his job. I miss our good relationship. We have been together for 2 years and 3 months. And when I asked if we were still together? He didn't answer... he said I was overthinking things.

[bowenw]

It is difficult to know what is causing his behavior. It could be a result of him losing his job, or because of the new girl, or a combination of the two. If he continues to be distant with you, I suggest you request that he go for couple's therapy together. If he refuses, you may want to move on.

[Abbycado]

Sounds like he isn't handling it very well and using distractions to do just that.

[Nikki1989]

Losing a job is not easy for anyone. It seems like he is not taking it too well.

[jahaims]

He feels like a failure and is coping in unhealthy ways

[In_Trance]

So what's your actual question here?

[Asker]

How can you tell whether he is cold and distant because he lost his job or because someone new has appeared on the horizon? when i asked him about our relationship he shutted down and told me, now it is not a good time for this kind of talks and if i touch him, he says i dont want to

[In_Trance]

You have to give him time to work through this. Losing a job is tramatic. As much as you're concerned, adding relationship challenges to the mix is not helping