Why does the guy I’m seeing want me to drop all my male friends?

[bunnyboo364]

So i’m friends with both guys and girls, because when i’m friends with someone. That’s what I see. Complete friendship. WhyThe guy i’m talking to said he doesn’t mind me having friends that are guys right now since we just started talking but he prefers if I have none when I’m with him. He said he has no girlfriends. So I was like “so do you have guy friends too”. He was like “yeah”. I asked him what the difference was then. You can have guy friends no problem but you can’t have girl friends. Why does gender matter in friendship? I told him I understand it if it’s a girl or guy BEST friend but normal friendship, I don’t see his point. Mind you, i’ve been in situations where guys had girl besties or friends that want them. So i’m very open about that stuff. If my partner feels uncomfortable, then i’d immediately stop what the issue is. I never felt tempted to be unloyal. However, I don’t understand why I need to drop all guy friends. I’m also bisexual and he doesn’t know that yet because we met less than a week ago. Would he tell me I can’t have girl friends too?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Because temptation doesn't form from nowhere, temptation starts as a seed and you can end up cheating decades later with someone you've known a lot time, it's also not just what you can choose to do but what they choose to do, you might not do anything and your friend gets drunk or for whatever reason he decides to touch you inappropriately, now your boyfriend has a problem to deal with, it's just a smart and healthy move for the relationship to exclude possible suspects, you never know who will ruin your relationship until they ruin it and a true healthy platonic relationship with opposite sexes is rare, most men will have sex with their female friends if the opportunity comes and I have female friends and I wouldn't take advantage of them but not everyone thinks this way, it's why I tell every single one of them I'm going to break things off when I get into a relationship, they are fully aware of my intentions and thats a healthy friendship, but breaking it off is still the best choice for a relationship and they all agreed with it and believe it as well, I also do it when they get a partner, I've told Turkish women this and they seem to understand it much better than people here.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some people have had bad experiences with "friends" becoming the third point of a triangle that didn't work out well. It doesn't matter whether that seems to be logical to you; that is just their experience and they can't ignore it. Other guys have enough confidence to understand and accept you having opposite sex friends.

I understand that it is extremely early with this guy, but you mentioned that you are bisexual so you obviously sense that is an important issue to address. For many guys, that is a deal breaker and something best disclosed before you get very much time and energy invested in the fledgling relationship.

[Abbycado]

This is a sign of insecurity. Just wait until the blue anons hit this question. 🙄

[loveslongnails]

Love you, Abby! :) Haven't seen any anons yet, but there's a couple from people I blocked. I think we know who, you and I. LOL

[Abbycado]

Not yet. I’m sure the usual suspects will show up as anons too chicken to put their names behind their misogyny. It rarely fails to bring them out.

[CriminallyInsane]

He knows he can't be just friends with a girl so he believes no one can

[worldscolide]

Let me preface this with, if that's not what you wanna do, you need to break up.

Men like him have had bad experiences with girls having male friends. Here is why, years ago when I was dating, I did a thought expariment with a girl I was with. Instead of asking her to drop her male friends I asked her to send them a text offering to go out and have sex with them. She had something like 20 male friends. 19 of them were happy to take her up on it. The 20th was married. The terms of the expariment were that she drop male friends who jumped at the chance to have sex with her.

Additionally, any time a woman cheats, it's always with the male friend that he was always told not to worry about, or that he was gay..

A man who will jump at the chance to have sex with you if offered, is not your friend, he is waiting in line for his turn. You can disagree with this all you like, but it is the truth.

[worldscolide]

Now having all of that been said, his desire for you to drop ALL of your male friends shows he is insecure, and doesn't trust you.

If it were me, the only ones I'd want you to drop are your ex's.

[loveslongnails]

You only know him for a week? Good, you shouldn't have any trouble dumping him as SOON as possible then. This dude is a walking red flag parade. Here's the bottom line:

* He doesn't want you have guy friends because he SO insecure that he won't trust you around them, OR them around you, and fears you'll leave him. Do you need that shit? No.

* He'll hit the ceiling too when you tell him you're bisexual and want to have a girlfriend while you're seeing him. Yes, he'll tell you to drop that too, guaranteed.

My strong advice; send this little boy back to his basement and his mama. Real men don't do shit like that, he's a child.

[Alex-Snow]

He is insecure. There is nothing wrong at all with having friends of the opposite gender that you are not sexually involved with. I do and it works out great.

[Nikki1989]

Insecurity and immaturity. Avoid men with these issues.

[MrChinaski]

It's coercive control. He feels stronger by making you less. Run, don't walk.

[Bklynbadboy12]

He's comes across like he's controlling and insecure two major red flags. I'm not say you should dump him but you should be very careful with him

[dudeinohio]

I totally agree. Male "friends " are really a backup plan.

[dudeinohio]

I meant to respond to someone else...

Male friends really want to be next in line to sleep with you.

[Agape93]

Because he's controlling

[Agape93]

If my guy started that, he'd be single the moment the comment left his cunty mouth.

[valentina4eva]

sounds insecure😵

[Still-alive]

@valentina4eva you can keep your unicorn and fairy friends. I allow it! Jk lol

[valentina4eva]

lol are u saying all my guy friends are unicorns or fairies?🤔😂🤣

[Still-alive]

Yeaah? you're saying they aren't? huh :P

[valentina4eva]

i wish i had unicorn friendss!!🥺🦄✨

[Still-alive]

Careful, they can be rather horny... *waits for the pun to set in* lol

[LoveGuy242]

Hello dear @valentina4eva

[NathanDavis]

because he's an asshole

[Xawyx-2]

He is probably extremely jealous.

[Ariesman81]

Because he's protective

[loveslongnails]

He's protecting nothing but his own insecurity. He's a coward.

[Ariesman81]

Sounds to me like he's rather astute.

[loveslongnails]

That's rather obvious and you're entitled to your opinion, but there's strong evidence that shows otherwise. Attempting to control your partner's friendships and behaviors doesn't make you "astute": it's a sign of weakness from within that says "look at what I lack". There's no need to get into this with me, as neither of our minds will be changed.

[Ariesman81]

@loveslongnails

Is that what she told you?

[loveslongnails]

No dude, the evidence I'm talking about is found in behavioral studies. There have been many. If you really care, do some research.

[Ariesman81]

@loveslongnails

Written by women?

[loveslongnails]

Now you just sound stupid. Do some research.

[Pterodon]

Jealous. Insecure