Did my boyfriend break up with me or does it sound like he wants to work on things?

[Anonymous]

I saw him yesterday and he was acting weird and I texted him saying I’m capable of communicating better with you then he said I don’t know about that and then he said he doesn’t know what he’s feeling about me and is trying to make this work. Then he said his heart is heavy and he knows that he is trying. He says me and him have to figure something out. Does it sound like he’s checked out of the relationship and is done with me or he wants to work on things?

Updates

1 mo

He told me yesterday that we are “too different” and that I don’t understand some things he says and that’s the reason why he doesn’t know if he wants to be together with me right now. Is that a dumb reason? I told him I’m working on my communication skills.

[molonski2]

He's wanting to break up , just not saying it directly , it's paining him but it's the correct course of action. Zero doubt about it.

[Asker]

How do you know he wants to break up? He’s breaking up basically because of my disability? How could he! It’s part of who I am!

[Asker]

But he still plans to see me so I don't know what that’s all about

[molonski2]

I don't know why , I just know what he is trying to say..
No idea what the " seeing you " is about.

[In_Trance]

It's time to move on

[Asker]

Yeah but it sounds like he doesn’t want to be with me because of my disability? He said we are too different and that I don’t understand things but he said his heart is heavy so he is trying. Has he checked out of the relationship?

[In_Trance]

He checked out a long time ago

[Asker]

Why? What if he still wants to hang out?

[In_Trance]

You do you then.

Anybody can hang out. You have lots of people you can hang out with. You don't need another

[OneViewpoint]

Hey, he may not be able to express himself clearly, neither can you but, it's clear he's not happy. Why stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy? Or worse, a relationship that makes you unhappy and adds stress to your life.

[Asker]

Yeah but I have autism and Mabye it’s because of that? I don’t know why he would be unhappy with me because of my autism that’s just dumb don’t you think? There is plenty of me to offer besides my autism.

[OneViewpoint]

You want me to tell you your autism doesn't matter. It does. To varying degrees depending on the person. If this guy can't deal with it, maybe you need to find someone who can and he needs to find someone he can be happy with.

[Asker]

Yes you are right but not a lot of guys can do I’m left single. I tell them all the time I’m high functioning. Why could he not deal with it that I’m so high functioning I can pass as normal? That’s weird to me

[OneViewpoint]

I don't know you or him. But you can't reshape another human just because it's what you want. That is doomed to fail eventually.

[Asker]

You are right! How come?

[RavVid]

I think it is more that though he likes you, you aren't the right type of girl for him and he is sad about that.

Communication only goes so far. I think he is more saying that you don't get what he as a man wants from a girl.

[Asker]

He’s not right for me because of my autism? That’s dumb there is a lot more to me then autism right?

[RavVid]

That is not what I said.

It is more that there are fundamentals between guys and gals. Just about every girl in the world wants her guy to think she is beautiful. Just about every guy in the world wants his girl to respect him.

If for example you showed no respect for him at times and were competitive or combative that would be a problem. The social message to girls is guys should be like this to you but there is no message as to how girls should be towards guys.

I am thinking the problem lies in these fundamental areas of relationships between guys and girls and you may not be even able to see it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you two have significantly different backgrounds?

[Asker]

No why?

[OlderAndWiser]

He said you don't understand him because you are too different. What's that mean?

[Asker]

Yeah like I have autism and he don’t and he said it’s hard for him to understand me. Why would he say that? That’s a dumb reason to break up

[Iron_Man]

How long have you known him? And how long has he been your boyfriend? Sounds like you’re on your way out to me. Start preparing yourself

[Asker]

I known him for a few years and we been dating for 2 years. Why does it sound like I’m on my way out?

[Iron_Man]

From what I read, it’s scary it’s alarming

[Asker]

What’s scary that it’s alarming?

[Iron_Man]

You said this

He told me yesterday that we are “too different” and that I don’t understand some things he says and that’s the reason why he doesn’t know if he wants to be together with me right now

[Asker]

Yeah I did and why is that alarming?

[Iron_Man]

Because you’re in trouble do something about it or if not move on. After all these years, the guy acts like that.

[Jeff51]

Since he wants to work something out. For now it looks like he still wants relationship with you

[Asker]

Ok! I didn’t know. It sounds like he wants to work things out? I don’t know what he said it means he’s checked out?

[whosnumber_1]

It should like he has forking for you but there is definitely an issue. Do you know what the issue is?

[Sinanpy]

I think he probably left you and has someone else in his life.

[Asker]

Really?

[Asker]

So the autism thing was an excuse?

[Sinanpy]

Likely

[jahaims]

Weird to not ask him