Haven't heard from boyfriend for almost 2 days. Is it a sign he is breaking up?

Question

He said he needed a vacation to be alone to recharge. I thought I wouldn't see him at all, but we ended up seeing each other 4 days during the week before he head off. I'm sure he is back in town but he stopped responding my text and I didn't send another one to follow up.

It's been almost 2 days. I'm not sure what to do as I did respect his need for space and only respond when he text me. I get the feeling he might have take my kindness and patients for granted

Answer 1

Paris13 | 4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

... He said he needed a vacation to be alone to recharge...
If you both gottopgether those days 'During the week,' I find him a bit selfish and unfeeling thast when he mentioned this Time on his Mind, he didn't... Include you in his vacation package by mentioning that he wanted Alone Time from Everyone, Including You.
Yes, he certainly took some things for granted and took advantage of you as well. Have a tender foot talk with him when you see him around town again.
Good luck. xx

React

1 Person

Asker

+1 y
I ended up wanting to collect my stuff. He said its a bit harsh and didn't see it coming. I said I felt either he's not Ito me or he took me for granted. He apologize and said he might have taken me for granted.

Then he cried when I wanted to leave. I asked why is he crying? He said cos he is getting attached to me. He. Is not used to opening up to anyone. Also he is unsure of the direction. As no relationship he knows every works. Including his parents / brothers / friends

I told him I never knew you are growing attached. You never communicate with me with these things...
Paris13

+1 y
I saw yes, a sigh n of wanting his space and with not communicating it was a First signs, maybe you have had a few of them, of a man who wanted his freedom as well, I can tell.
It's better to know now what he wants, rather than have him play head games. However, with someone like this, who is crying the blues, he wants his cake and east it too, you may find out in time. He will wants YOU in his life and also to be free, I am now as I even write this, helping agirl witht he same problem, for they have been apart for over a year, dear.
Olease take care of yourself and lick your war wounds, and if he acts like he is confused with being attached, it definitely means he Does want It both ways. xx
Asker

+1 y
ah so those are fake tears... he claims he is not dating anyone else. He is just not used to moving fast, he said he never had exclusive talk with any girls until at least 3 months and he had it with me at 1 month. He said it's a big step for him. I said this is putting me in difficult position. he said we both need time to think. I said ok. I can't remove his fear for him...

anyway now I can see he probably wnat some distance he said when you come to my place you don't have to cook for me as it's my place it's my hospitality. he probably feels guilty cos I said the cookign i do is not appreciated as he took me for granted.
Show All Show Less
Paris13

+1 y
And with all of this that you know now, move on and don't let him to Continue this problem pattern of taking you for granted. xx
Asker

+1 y
So move on and don't give him another chance?
Paris13

+1 y
If he comes back, sure you could give him another chance but it may be tha the wants to be free and have you in his life as well, and that could go on for awhile... He seems confused right now. xx
Asker

+1 y
Yes he is. We still spending time together but I guess we are making progress as i didn't expect him to cry and for him to open up. I already collected half of my stuff. I guess I will take the rest tomorrow as I'm staying with him for a few days like usual?
Paris13

+1 y
I see someone who cannot let go and this is him, most probablyyou as well, and who knows... While both of you are feeling like this being together, the other half of the memories are still there, so perhaps, these maybe end up staying longer... Talk it out you have the time together. xxoo
Asker

+1 y
He stepped up his game and he opened up to share his day with me which he's never done before. he also become more affectionate in general. May be I shocked him when I honestly wanted to leave? Perharps that forced him to made a decision to open up or let me go. I guess we will wait for other talk.
Paris13

+1 y
It could have suddenly hit him when the shock wore off and then this "Culture shock" that this was not Child's Play, it is serious now with you wanting to leave... Yes, see what is going on in the future now with more talks and his actions that have spoken louder than even his words. xx
Asker

+1 y
Very true action speaks louder than words. :)
Paris13

+1 y
:)) xxoo
Paris13

+1 y
Thank you so much, for the Vote of Confidence and I know you will do the right thing. xxoo
Asker

+1 y
Can you take a look at this please? It's the follow up

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1732705-he-wants-to-spend-some-days-we-see-each-other-without-sex-to-see-our
Paris13

+1 y
Hi, sweetie, be happy to oblige. xxoo
Asker

+1 y
Thanks :)
Asker

+1 y
Hi dear would you please take a look at his pretty please. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1827131-boyfriend-ignores-me-after-our-fight-is-this-over
Paris13

+1 y
Thank you for the Vote of Confidence, and would be happy to look at your Question.:)) xxoo

Answer 2

Asker

I ended up wanting to collect my stuff. He said its a bit harsh and didn't see it coming. I said I felt either he's not Ito me or he took me for granted. He apologize and said he might have taken me for granted.

Then he cried when I wanted to leave. I asked why is he crying? He said cos he is getting attached to me. He. Is not used to opening up to anyone. Also he is unsure of the direction. As no relationship he knows every works. Including his parents / brothers / friends

I told him I never knew you are growing attached. You never communicate with me with these things...

Answer 3

Paris13

I saw yes, a sigh n of wanting his space and with not communicating it was a First signs, maybe you have had a few of them, of a man who wanted his freedom as well, I can tell.
It's better to know now what he wants, rather than have him play head games. However, with someone like this, who is crying the blues, he wants his cake and east it too, you may find out in time. He will wants YOU in his life and also to be free, I am now as I even write this, helping agirl witht he same problem, for they have been apart for over a year, dear.
Olease take care of yourself and lick your war wounds, and if he acts like he is confused with being attached, it definitely means he Does want It both ways. xx

Answer 4

Asker

ah so those are fake tears... he claims he is not dating anyone else. He is just not used to moving fast, he said he never had exclusive talk with any girls until at least 3 months and he had it with me at 1 month. He said it's a big step for him. I said this is putting me in difficult position. he said we both need time to think. I said ok. I can't remove his fear for him...

anyway now I can see he probably wnat some distance he said when you come to my place you don't have to cook for me as it's my place it's my hospitality. he probably feels guilty cos I said the cookign i do is not appreciated as he took me for granted.

Answer 5

Paris13

And with all of this that you know now, move on and don't let him to Continue this problem pattern of taking you for granted. xx

Answer 6

Asker

So move on and don't give him another chance?

Answer 7

Paris13

If he comes back, sure you could give him another chance but it may be tha the wants to be free and have you in his life as well, and that could go on for awhile... He seems confused right now. xx

Answer 8

Asker

Yes he is. We still spending time together but I guess we are making progress as i didn't expect him to cry and for him to open up. I already collected half of my stuff. I guess I will take the rest tomorrow as I'm staying with him for a few days like usual?

Answer 9

Paris13

I see someone who cannot let go and this is him, most probablyyou as well, and who knows... While both of you are feeling like this being together, the other half of the memories are still there, so perhaps, these maybe end up staying longer... Talk it out you have the time together. xxoo

Answer 10

Asker

He stepped up his game and he opened up to share his day with me which he's never done before. he also become more affectionate in general. May be I shocked him when I honestly wanted to leave? Perharps that forced him to made a decision to open up or let me go. I guess we will wait for other talk.

Answer 11

Paris13

It could have suddenly hit him when the shock wore off and then this "Culture shock" that this was not Child's Play, it is serious now with you wanting to leave... Yes, see what is going on in the future now with more talks and his actions that have spoken louder than even his words. xx

Answer 12

Asker

Very true action speaks louder than words. :)

Answer 13

Paris13

:)) xxoo

Answer 14

Paris13

Thank you so much, for the Vote of Confidence and I know you will do the right thing. xxoo

Answer 15

Asker

Can you take a look at this please? It's the follow up

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1732705-he-wants-to-spend-some-days-we-see-each-other-without-sex-to-see-our

Answer 16

Paris13

Hi, sweetie, be happy to oblige. xxoo

Answer 17

Asker

Thanks :)

Answer 18

Asker

Hi dear would you please take a look at his pretty please. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1827131-boyfriend-ignores-me-after-our-fight-is-this-over

Answer 19

Paris13

Thank you for the Vote of Confidence, and would be happy to look at your Question.:)) xxoo

Answer 20

Anonymous

Sounds like he is giving you the classic hot and cold. He could be unsure of his feelings whether he should move forward or let you go. He might not break up with you right away. Just be prepared that this might not last so you don't say wow I didn't see this coming.

React

Asker

+1 y
I'm always prepared...

Answer 21

Asker

I'm always prepared...

Answer 22

KHaskins

Yoda

I'm in a long distance relationship a medical student who's working insanely long hours in the ER. It's pretty routine for us to go a few days without talking, but we make the most of the time we do get. Every couple has a different dynamic.

React

Asker

+1 y
ER is different, his schedule is not as hectic as this
KHaskins

+1 y
So your relationship is one where you're in contact more frequently then?
KHaskins

+1 y
I mean to say, two days is abnormally long not to hear from him?
Show All Show Less
Asker

+1 y
He always initiate contact daily. This is he first time I haven't heard from him for almost 2 days. He did say he is going away to be alone to recharge. He was in touch while away but disappear when he is back..
KHaskins

+1 y
I don't think you need to be worried at this point. Give him a few more days, and if by the end of the weekend you haven't heard anything, drop him a line and ask how he's doing.
Asker

+1 y
Ok. I will do that. However I do feel like he is being selfish and probably have taken me for granted somehow?
KHaskins

+1 y
I wouldn't say so. He needed a break and he's taking one. Like I said, every couple has a different dynamic in terms of how often they're together, how often they need to communicate. Even married couples don't want to be on top of each other constantly.

May I ask, is he always expected to be the one to initiate contact?
Asker

+1 y
Yes he is. He knows he has to contact me or else he won't hear from me. Also I tried to take turns and it doesn't go well. Not that he flip but I general I get a better respond when he initiate it.

Ok. I will give it until Sunday morning. It else I. Will just break up with him myself. As Sunday night is one of his routine that he brings me along,..
KHaskins

+1 y
Wouldn't jump straight to a break-up then. Just talk to him. Something in the relationship needs to change if he's expected to start the conversation every single time.
Asker

+1 y
What should I tell him though? If I say why didn't you text me he will get defensive?
KHaskins

+1 y
Don't jump straight in with something accusatory. Ask him how he's been.

A question for you, and this question is at the heart of any relationship - do you trust him? In my present relationship, we're separated by an ocean and only able to converse a few times per week. It will be months until we can even be in the same room together. The thing that holds it all together is trust.

If you don't trust him, you already have your answer. If you suspect you may have issues trusting people in general, that may be something you and him can work on together. You'd be happier for it.
Asker

+1 y
No I don't trust him, but every time he seem to prove me wrong when I don't trust him. I used to be in long distance relationship as well but my ex was very transparent wtih me so I trusted him. This guy is not very transparent. I did tell him without trnasparency there can't be intimacy. he was like yea I know what you're saying..

Answer 23

Asker

ER is different, his schedule is not as hectic as this

Answer 24

KHaskins

So your relationship is one where you're in contact more frequently then?

Answer 25

KHaskins

I mean to say, two days is abnormally long not to hear from him?

Answer 26

Asker

He always initiate contact daily. This is he first time I haven't heard from him for almost 2 days. He did say he is going away to be alone to recharge. He was in touch while away but disappear when he is back..

Answer 27

KHaskins

I don't think you need to be worried at this point. Give him a few more days, and if by the end of the weekend you haven't heard anything, drop him a line and ask how he's doing.

Answer 28

Asker

Ok. I will do that. However I do feel like he is being selfish and probably have taken me for granted somehow?

Answer 29

KHaskins

I wouldn't say so. He needed a break and he's taking one. Like I said, every couple has a different dynamic in terms of how often they're together, how often they need to communicate. Even married couples don't want to be on top of each other constantly.

May I ask, is he always expected to be the one to initiate contact?

Answer 30

Asker

Yes he is. He knows he has to contact me or else he won't hear from me. Also I tried to take turns and it doesn't go well. Not that he flip but I general I get a better respond when he initiate it.

Ok. I will give it until Sunday morning. It else I. Will just break up with him myself. As Sunday night is one of his routine that he brings me along,..

Answer 31

KHaskins

Wouldn't jump straight to a break-up then. Just talk to him. Something in the relationship needs to change if he's expected to start the conversation every single time.

Answer 32

Asker

What should I tell him though? If I say why didn't you text me he will get defensive?

Answer 33

KHaskins

Don't jump straight in with something accusatory. Ask him how he's been.

A question for you, and this question is at the heart of any relationship - do you trust him? In my present relationship, we're separated by an ocean and only able to converse a few times per week. It will be months until we can even be in the same room together. The thing that holds it all together is trust.

If you don't trust him, you already have your answer. If you suspect you may have issues trusting people in general, that may be something you and him can work on together. You'd be happier for it.

Answer 34

Asker

No I don't trust him, but every time he seem to prove me wrong when I don't trust him. I used to be in long distance relationship as well but my ex was very transparent wtih me so I trusted him. This guy is not very transparent. I did tell him without trnasparency there can't be intimacy. he was like yea I know what you're saying..

Answer 35

mniAP100

Xper 3

Is he texting anyone else, if so yes, if no then he probably is actually just recharging

React

Asker

+1 y
I don't think I can find out unless I grab his phone.. which is something I won't do..

Answer 36

Asker

I don't think I can find out unless I grab his phone.. which is something I won't do..

Answer 37

SmoMan

Explorer

Did he not say he would be out of touch? I would give him a week before worrying too much.

React

1 Person

Asker

+1 y
I thought he would be out of touch for a week.. but turns out he was spending time with me.. he just suddenly went out of touch unexpectedly.. ironically it's the day he is back in town..
SmoMan

+1 y
A little strange but I still would not worry too much about it yet. He did say he needed some time to himself and two days is not that bad yet.
Asker

+1 y
Yea it's very strange. So I guess just don't contact him until he does? If he does come back I do need to steer the wheel somehow. As I think I might have been too nice
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SmoMan

+1 y
I guess you will have to play it by ear when he does contact you. It kind of depends on when, how, and what he says.
Asker

+1 y
Alright I guess whatever he says just keeps it casual? As his tone of talking to me was really aloof. He say hey you you doing? Then asked about how I went with stuff I told him.

That's before he went poof

Answer 38

Asker

I thought he would be out of touch for a week.. but turns out he was spending time with me.. he just suddenly went out of touch unexpectedly.. ironically it's the day he is back in town..

Answer 39

SmoMan

A little strange but I still would not worry too much about it yet. He did say he needed some time to himself and two days is not that bad yet.

Answer 40

Asker

Yea it's very strange. So I guess just don't contact him until he does? If he does come back I do need to steer the wheel somehow. As I think I might have been too nice

Answer 41

SmoMan

I guess you will have to play it by ear when he does contact you. It kind of depends on when, how, and what he says.

Answer 42

Asker

Alright I guess whatever he says just keeps it casual? As his tone of talking to me was really aloof. He say hey you you doing? Then asked about how I went with stuff I told him.

That's before he went poof

Haven't heard from boyfriend for almost 2 days. Is it a sign he is breaking up?

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