Very long story here guys. I’m trying to be as non biased as I can as-well as truthful here as I know I’ve messed up.
I’ve with been my partner about 4.5years. We love each other a lot and have had plans of marriage and kids in the future.
We are still young at only 21 and we have had our fair share of really rough situations. We both have equally hurt each other in the past but we have communicated well and grown together as a couple. About a month ago my partner and I went to a rapper concert and had a fun time. We went with his brother and his brothers girlfriend aswell. After the concert we managed to find the rapper while he was leaving to head to his private car. My partners brothers girlfriend made a few jokes with me saying I should turn around and show my ass to get his attention so we could get recognition like a photo, invite to after party e. c. t. Mind you we were also tipsy and these were just stupid jokes. Though it seems regardless I got the rappers attention and a security guard came and asked for my number and i declined as I had a boyfriend obviously. Though when the time came for him to nearly leave before we walked off. My partners brothers girlfriend did a final hype to me and said shake your ass gurl” (some typical girl hype stuff) and I was stupid enough to do a little shake as a joke and laughed it off. Then the rappers car drove off. Long story short though I didn’t catch onto the fact that my boyfriend didn’t find this funny either and was quite hurt. In my only defence I thought he was laughing with us but he was standing behind me the entire time. I also made a stupid hasty decision based on being hyped up and being tipsy. Non the less I shouldn’t of disrespected him like that. In the end though he's feeling really upset and feels he’s stupid to stay with me but it also hurts to leave me. I think we can work on this and I’ll have to work on myself. I’m kicking myself right now for making such a stupid split second mistake.
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Alright sis, here's my perspective seeing this situation from the outside:
I can understand why he's feeling hurt and questioning the relationship after what happened. Dancing for another guy like that, even if just joking around, was disrespectful to your partner. That said, breaking up should always be a last resort when you've invested so much time in someone.
A few things to consider:
- Accept responsibility and truly apologize, not just saying sorry but showing through actions you understand his pain.
- Be open to discussing it honestly without getting defensive so he can express how he feels fully. Listen fully without interrupting.
- Suggest counseling if needed to work through trust issues in a healthy way with a neutral third party.
- Give him space if he needs it but make it clear you're willing to do the work to rebuild things stronger.
- Make a commitment to learning from mistakes and not repeating behaviors that compromise his trust in you.
If the love is real and you're both willing to put in effort, I think you can get through this. But he has to be comfortable with continuing too. All you can do is show you're serious about change - the rest is up to him. Stay positive sis!
It sounds like there was a misunderstanding and miscommunication during the concert incident. It's important to acknowledge your mistake and take responsibility for it, which it seems you're doing. Communication is key in any relationship, so having an honest conversation with your partner about how you both feel and what you can do to rebuild trust could be a good step forward. Counseling or couples therapy might also be helpful in navigating through this rough patch. Ultimately, whether to break up or work on the relationship is a decision you both need to make together, considering your feelings, the strength of your bond, and your willingness to work through challenges.