Should I break up with my girlfriend because of my financial situation and its effect on my mental health?

[thatdude_99]

For context, my girlfriend (24) and I have been together for 6 months now. I'm 24 year old recent graduate and have yet to enter the workforce in my field. I am embarrassed by the fact, but have been trying to apply to numerous jobs and expand my job field and still seeing no positive results. The people around me, such as siblings, girlfriend, peers within my program and/or age range, are all experiencing a more fruitful lifestyle because they all are working in the field and holding down impressive job titles. Meanwhile, I am watching bills take away the little money I have, while having to be extremely cautious about how much money I can spend on dates with my girlfriend. When away from my girlfriend, I don't go out, don't eat out, don't buy random things from online shopping, etc.

I feel like I need to dedicate a lot more time to working on myself, my academic/work related skills, and mental health in order to overcome the shame and embarrassment of being broke and feeling hopeless. I feel like I cannot provide the relationship that my girlfriend has requested and deserves.

Should I break up with my girlfriend because of my financial situation and its effect on my mental health?

Also, is it an acceptable reason to break up due to how financial concerns can effect one's mental health and ability to show up in a relationship?

[dynamicyandere]

If you’re going through a tough time, and your girlfriend is understanding and willing to stick with you through all of it, she’s a keeper.


I’d say, communicate what’s going on. Make this a decision that you do together. Let her know how it is and that if she’s going to be with you, this is something you’re battling through.


If she wants to stay, amazing. If she decides it’s best to leave, that’s her choice. But, if she doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation, I believe it’s best that she know and that she can say her piece before you decide on anything.


As for work, a temporary job would be a great idea. Something that pays the bills and allows you to work on finding the gigs you actually want.


For myself for example, I became a marketing manager for a startup company that I work remotely for. I get paid more than I ever have, and I get to work from anywhere in the world. Right now, I work from an island in Southeast Asia.


I didn’t start that way though. I needed to gather experience working in other positions in other companies. Sometimes semi-related, and once even completely unrelated. But I kept my sights on my goal: becoming a digital nomad in the marketing space.


And I got there, because I was persistent, I didn’t give up, and I was willing to adapt.


I hope that helps!

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are my thoughts:

It's totally understandable why your financial situation would be weighing on you mentally and impacting your confidence right now. Not being able to support yourself, much less a relationship, can feel really demoralizing.

However, breaking up may not necessarily improve that situation. While focusing solely on yourself and your career goals may help in the short term, being in an otherwise good relationship could also provide helpful emotional support during this challenging transition period.

Have you talked to your girlfriend openly about how you're feeling? A caring partner may be willing to reduce dating expenses temporarily or offer reassurance. Ending things without communicating your needs could lead to unnecessary hurt feelings.

Perhaps suggest taking a step back from constant dates for now while continuing emotional intimacy through quality time at home. Work on self-care too by exploring free/low-cost hobbies and socializing. Your mental health is super important, so don't hesitate to seek counseling if anxiety persists.

The financial worries won't last forever. If you and your girlfriend like each other enough, getting through this rocky patch together could make your bond stronger long-term. I say talk it out honestly before deciding a breakup is the only option. With empathy and compromise, relationships can survive job transitions. Keep your head up man, things will work out!

[Akam93]

It would hurt her feelings but you do what's best for you.

[thatdude_99]

Thank you for the reply. This is something that I'm struggling with. I fear that if I break up for this reason, I'd be painted as a selfish, inconsiderate, emotionally manipulative/abusive person.

[Avicenna]

No, you don’t need to break up with her

[Blueeyes81]

Could you get a place holder job until you find a job in your field. It'd give you some cash and a break from your thoughts.

[thatdude_99]

Definitely have thought about this but so far it's only been a thought. Haven't actively seeked roles for odd jobs, instead have been solely focusing on jobs in my field. I agree that finding a place holder job is a good option in my case tho, appreciate your response

[dynamicyandere]

Yes, a placeholder job would be an excellent idea.

[AmeerX]

If you have a supportive girlfriend why give up on her for your career boy?
Love her because she has been loyal to you