I didn’t realize I was in a Situationship. ?

Question

Long story short met a guy, he pursued me, I barely had to do anything for a whole year but we clicked and got along. I’m 32 years old. never been taking out in public with a guy ever. first guy to acknowledge me and accept me for who I am. Having something I’ve never And kind of always wished for, and it happened. in the middle stages he was telling me if we got along he would want more with me, And this, and that. So I came to the point I wanted more then he hits me with the “ Do you like being alone? I like being alone” my heart sank. said it with an emotionless face, just turning to ME while he was driving. I had this nasty gut feeling like he just switched up on me. Like he had this look like immediately, he became some weird stranger. Total 180. anyways, like an idiot I told him how I felt about not being content, and I just wanna keep to myself, He literally didn’t say anything and just ghosted me after a whole year. yes we got intimate, but he never ghosted me after the two times we got Intimate. He still stuck around. however, after saying that and him ghosting me I felt relieved because I didn’t have to deal with the anxiety, but at the same time, I felt anger. there’s days when I really miss him, there’s other days when I really hate him. like an idiot, six months, went by And I wished him a merry Christmas He said thank you you too I wonder how you’re doing all the time and I said take care and he said you take care also.

And right now, I feel anger for myself Because I feel like I just let this dude off the hook, but yet I got desperate to even hear from him Even knowing he would reply to a single text message for me. and after the Christmas text of 2025 it is now June 11, 2026 And I think about him all the time and I get mixed emotions of sad, anger and confusion. it’s hard

HollyK21 · Answer

I was so relieved to read that ultimately you aren’t in communication anymore, because that was absolutely the best move. At the end of the day, this guy had nothing to offer, and would only have continued to waste your time. There’s nothing to go back to. When you talk about letting him off the hook, I feel like the time to point fingers has passed and it’s time to take some accountability, so that you can really stay accepting the situation for what it was, heal, and ultimately move on.

There were signs. Maybe not immediately but I would’ve seen them about 3 months in when I wasn’t talking about getting serious. Instead he noticed that he needed to give you some sort of hope, and string you along with statements like “if things go well we will get serious”. Your red flag should have been: why is he using verbiage best suited for the beginning stages of meeting someone? “If things go well”, that’s what you say when you’re just getting started. Several months having passed at that point should have been insulting, because were things not going good enough in those 4-5 months prior that he hadn’t even considered a relationship?

At the age you were when this went down, I’d say it was less about you being naive to dealing with men, and more about you trying to hang on to the one experience you thought you’d never find again because you hadn’t found it prior. I just think you need to stop telling yourself that this was special. You need to work on raising the bar for your standards, that way you are eventually able to see how much he did NOT meet them. A guy like him got to do this and walk away because he found a woman who at the time didn’t know her value, and took advantage. You can’t recover the time invested, or take back anything you’ve done. The best you can do now is learn from this, close that chapter and do your best not to let it happen again.

WhitneySnow · Answer

He didn’t want a relationship but he was happy to take all the intimacy you wanted to offer

Anonymous · Answer

You should have asked for exclusivity. You played the game. So cut the drama. U caused it after all

LuxVerse · Answer

I won't read the whole thing but i'll say this: What do you expecr us to do with that siruation?

I didn’t realize I was in a Situationship. ?

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