Guys, why would you suddenly ghost a close friend after reconnecting?

[Anonymous]

Years ago, a coworker and I became really good friends. We went on a couple of dates, but nothing serious came of it, and we eventually drifted apart. There was some awkwardness, but no major fight.

A few years later, I reached out because I genuinely wanted to reconnect as friends. By that point, I had no romantic interest at all, and I think I made that pretty clear.

He was going through a very difficult period mentally, so I spent a lot of time supporting him. We talked often, he opened up to me about personal things, and he even told me I had come into his life when he needed it most. I honestly thought we had rebuilt a really good friendship.

Later, he offered to help me learn something he’s experienced in and said he’d message me when he got back home. He never did. Two months went by, even though he was active on social media and posting status updates.

Eventually, I sent a very simple message: “You disappeared. How have you been? Everything okay?”

He never replied. It’s now been over two weeks.
I’m genuinely confused because this doesn’t match the person I thought I knew. I don’t mind if someone doesn’t want to be friends anymore, but completely ignoring a friendly check-in after everything feels strange.

If you were in his position, what would most likely explain this behavior? Is there something obvious I might be missing?

[WhitneySnow]

Yes! He got frustrated when he realized you really did just want to be friends and lost interest in talking to you. More than lost interest: he wanted you to feel the same hurt and frustration he felt when he realized he had wasted all this time talking to you only to realize you had no romantic interest in him whatsoever.

Note that I am not in any way endorsing him ghosting you, but this is what I suspect was going through his mind.

[Nikki1989]

Friendships that are not solid to start with are far more likely to burn out eventually.

[Asker]

Totally get that, but plainly ignoring someone who was basically your emotional support for months? He told me really personal things, and throughout all this time he was always so proactive and engaged. It’s so weird to me. I genuinely thought we were really good friends again. This just came out of nowhere, and I’m so confused. I never expected this from him. I mean, at the very least, he could’ve just said he needed some time or wanted to be left alone, out of courtesy for someone who’d been a great friend to him

[Anonymous]

Because he isn’t interested anymore. Take the hint and move on. Not the end of the world.

[beenherebefore]

We no longer have that much in common.