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Ofc NOT ALL guys -- the rare fellow puts effort for his wife but not for anyone else -- but the average Son of Adam seems blind to the fact that a gal sitting on her own is possibly NOT just THERE waiting for him to ask her out... that the world just doesn't revolve around him.
While going through a major medical issue, I've taken to stopping at my favorite spot on the way home. The team there are family. I wasn't looking to get wrangled by some drunken sot. All the "loner" signs were there. I sit in the corner of the bar only the staff gets to. There's a terrible storm out, so i order soup and these lovely garlic crisps they make in house.
The bartender brings my soup and vanishes. The crisps are just out of reach. I hop off my stool to get them, but they're still too far in. I ask the guy in front of them, "Sorry, can you please pass that bowl?"
He is DELIGHTED and holds the whole bowl for me like my personal valet, a big goofy smile on his face. He starts chatting me up. He exudes major PopPop energy and reeks of J&C, so I figure he's just rambling. Suddenly he starts leaning in and switches gears to all the travel he does and properties he owns all over the country, where he lives, etc.
I smile politely, eating my soup. The bartender appears, catches on and raises the music. Grateful, I tell the guy I can't hear him.
He sets the bowl down and takes the empty seat closer to me. Suddenly he's whispering in my ear, touching my leg, asking me out.
I manage a polite grin. "Take me out where? You don't live here."
He smiles. "I swear I'd buy a building just for an excuse to keep talking to you."
I chuckle though I'm exhausted. "You're very kind. I was truly just asking you to pass the crisps. I didn't mean to monopolize you." Thankfully my phone goes off and I have to answer an email.
He gets a fresh J&C and leaves for a quick call, throws a fit over a guy taking the empty seat, then heads back out for another call, which is my cue to pay and duck out.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
5Opinion
I understand what you are saying. I used to like to stop off at the local bar after work and just sit and watch TV and think but it used to really get me angry when some loudmouth would start telling me his problems.
However , a girl sitting in a bar all alone sometimes is like the Bat signal to go on over and say Hi.
Why? I don't get it.
Look, by contrast my friend who was there -- we'll call her Ashley -- strutted in all gussied up and single, looking for a guy to pick her up... nothing. Best she can do is a friends with benefits situation with a married guy (ICK x 2). Just bc I leave the house doesn't mean I'm on the prowl for a fellow, you know?
Also, I really did look like hell. I don't know what the guy was looking at.
Maybe you are more approachable. Sometimes I used to see a girl and would just wonder what her story was. Maybe I am a perv.
You're no perv... smh. I don't know. Yes, perhaps. I do have the "Dear Anny" face on a normal day. But literally this week I'm just recovering from my thing. My nails are done bc I just wanted to feel A LITTLE pampered, but my hair is all fluffy and I clearly look very tired.
OK this will sound like a stereotype but many guys tend to be oblivious to some more subtle signs people give off. They are not mind readers. Many guys need more obvious communication.
Sure, but I was not trying to be mean. Also, I wasn't wearing anything particularly fetching and specifically had been keeping to myself.
Well to be frank in this case he also lacked some class and discretion in my opinion. You did not even give him any clear signals to approach you i think. More predator than gentleman. Guys need to realize that women sometimes just want to be left alone.
Should I not have asked him for the bowl of crisps? It was the only polite way to get them. I COULD have climbed across the counter like a monkey and gotten them for myself.
In my opinion you did nothing wrong... totally polite and appropriate. Maybe over thinking a bit?
Not really overthinking. BUT I do want to make sure I'm not putting something out there without wanting or meaning to. (Society trains women to drink the cool-aid and believe that the Sons of Adam will blindly come to the Daughters of Eve bc the gal is instinctively some sort of evil temptress... which I have always thought to be horse shit, HOWEVER there's something to be said about the jackass who gives up paradise just for a little T&A.)
Ha ha ha... good description of how society trains us to think. But it is the 21st century... we should be past all that. Guess not.
We're somehow not past a lot of silly things. (Sigh.)
True dat. Progress is slow. Lots of Hesgeth wanna bes still out there still living in the past. .
Lol. Well thanks for getting me to laugh about it anyway.
I am here all week...
😂 😂 😂
Honestly it depends on how you're communicating it. I told my wife from the beginning that i dont read minds, I can pick up on some things, but if there is a problem, the use of words is the best way for me to understand, and listen.
Yeah, but you were intending to be with her and she was trying to be with you. It was clear on some level from the start. I'm saying a regular Joe walks into a random place and just presumes every gal in there is open to being with him if she's not got a wedding band on already.
Oh I get that, though this will sound sad, but men kind of have to have that kind of attitude, reason being, at least on average, for every 100 attempts a man makes, 1 or less will actually work. We unfortunately face rejection more often than women do. So we have to shoot our shot more often, and as a result sometimes you have men like who you describe.
Let's also not mention that he was talking about his nasty blisters and bunions while I was trying to eat my soup... Hmm.
Ewww... Just eww
LOL. I know. I have to say, I'm always grateful to my family for raising me with manners.
Yeah me too!! Good lord what a bad thing to talk about while eating.
Have you ever seen someone with a laser pointer, playing with a cat? https://share.google/KPVIQn6KtTFRyFBuJ
Some guys are wired like cats. Really!
LMAO.
Because Men shut off emotions they don't serve us well. And it doesn't matter because the minute we figure it out or get it she will do a 180/360/540 and start at is from another psychotically emotion based attack!
Cause some men only care what you can do for them.