Is it a red flag that my boyfriend hides me online and from his Muslim family?

[Mariakkk]

So we been dating for like 7 months now. It's going very well, I met some of his friends too, his colleagues know me too etc. Everything is fantastic. However my boyfriend doesn't post at all on his Instagram/social media, like.. crickets, not even 1 story or post he have nothing (not saying its bad by the way) and only uses instagram to watch reels/posts etc. I just want to know if that is a "red flag" as this is going pretty serious and i just dont want my man to seem or act "single" if it makes sense...

And also.. he says he is afraid for me to meet his family because they are Muslim and he is afraid they gonna judge me.. I also don't know what to say about that too.

Let me know ur thoughts! Thank you.

Updates

1 mo

Hey, just to clarify (my bad i didn't share much info) the guy grew up in EU country behaves talks like European. He is not religious at all he is completly away from his religion (he is morrocan by the way) he only said to me that his family (mostly his dad) might take it bad as im not Muslim but he said he doesn't care... im not sure..

Updates

1 mo

Okay guys. U won, I've read all your comments and they did scare me a bit. What kind of questions/conversation i should have with him then?

[ohsheeT]

There are some men who know who they are and it has taken them a long time to find peace in life he see things deeper than most. It's the last thing he wants to do is to bring attention to himself

And as for you Not being Muslim
One day he will be approached and he will have to take your hand
And tell whomever this is my girlfriend I respect her I trust her and she can believe in what she believes in and I believe in what I believe in and we both understand this and we are both compatible

As for his parents he has to make a choice to either stand up for you and say I'm not married in My Religion I'm marrying her

And then he can say God did not say anything about being religious he wanted us to be more spiritual

And then once religion came out it went backwards because now it was used to control to manipulate and made into a business with God's name attached totally wrong but that's none of my business

Hey as long as there's love and you both trust and respect each other that's all that matters but if you want to share him with the world you post things he would rather just keep you to himself

[HawkPerception]

Huge waving red flag. Parents affect their kids more than you realize. Even if it's not his personal beliefs, he will still value his parents input. Most kids want to appeal to their parents.

If he's not thinking about eloping with you, that means consciously or subconsciously, he's thinking he'll have his fun with you and then when he wants to settle down, he'll get with a Muslim girl. Either that or he'll try to convert you somewhere down the road. That's how they roll.

Islam does not integrate with Western culture.

[choco-latte]

Technically you’re not allowed to date or have a romantic relationship before engagement/marriage, in Islam. So if there are no plans for a formal engagement and his family is religious then most likely he won’t introduce you to them as just a girlfriend, if he does this he will get in trouble and they probably won’t like you.

You have to ask yourselves what each of you wants for this relationship or if it’s strong enough to overcome these kind of obstacles, and whatever you decide make sure it’s in your own best interest and you feel comfortable with. Unfortunately there’s also a risk that he may not be taking you seriously at all or doesn’t see a future with you and is stringing you along, so you have to take that into consideration. But talk with him and whatever you guys decide then take it from there.

[choco-latte]

To your update, if he doesn’t care what his father or family thinks then what’s stopping him?

[WhitneySnow]

The social media thing is fine, but not meeting his family would bother me

[OneViewpoint]

Red flag? Nah, nothing to worry about. For crap's sake, your boyfriend cares way too much about what other people think. That screams he's a doormat performing for the approval of others, not his own man. And not willing to commit because of it.

[AviatorTom]

It's not the best situation. If your relationship continues, you'll have nothing to do with his family, and that would be a problem.

I knew a couple where the wife was Catholic and the husband was non-practicing Jewish. He never had his wife or kids meet his parents, fearful that they would disown him. They died without ever knowing or meeting their grandkids. The couple have been married for many years with grown kids. So, what you have is doable, but less than ideal.

[Saddlebread]

It is my understanding, and a Muslim poster can feel free to correct me, that a Muslim male has more leeway than his female counterpart in spouse selection, with qualifications. He may marry a Christian or Jewess but not an idolatress which, in current parlance, might mean a Wicca. Also, I infer the restriction to include women that are atheist, agnostic, deist...

[askingandreplying]

Complete wrong thing someone who is not muslim to be married with someone who is muslim. Because he is cancer he has disease and spreading to you. Their religon is complee terrorism. You are gonna have so much regret when you had that but it s gonna be so late.

[askingandreplying]

There is no questions you must break up or you are gonna have so much regret after that.. He is just wanna spread his religion he doesn't have respct for your religon you know. But if you ask he is gonna lie to you because they are the evil

[Momomaamaa]

Hi, Im a Muslim. I dont think I can properly explain how saddening it is that society, the media or whatever it may have been has taught you this image of our religion and its followers. I hope you heal and that you grow as a person. At 26 years old, there is still a lot to learn about the world, it's complexity and the many different people. You can never effectively attribute a stereotype to a group of 2 billion people. This world could be such a brighter place if we all tried to be more understanding of each other and spread more love. There is afterall so, so much more than just "the good and bad", the world isn't black and white, especially not parts of the world you haven't seen enough of yourself.
Have a good day. I wish you lots of healing.

[bowenw]

When someone is hiding a relationship, it can mean they are in another relationship. Hiding you from his family may mean that they have a say in who he marries and he knows they will not approve of you.

[bowenw]

He may say he doesn't care but he seems to be worried of what others will think.

[Miristheiss]

Do not date Muslims.

If you are in USA I hope we deport that stuff out of our society.

[abc3643]

Yes.
However, this is really easy...
Is your boyfriend Muslim?
If so, that's a red flag right there.

[slatyb]

yes. He will never marry you because you are not Muslim or are of a different ethnicity. Stop wasting your time.

[MrChinaski]

I wouldn't be scared. It says there are serious obstacles to work through with his family if you are going to be life partners.

[Nikki1989]

Don't waste your time on any religious people. They are toxic.

[OfDeath]

Not really the social media stuff. Not everyone posts their life on social media.

However the not wanting to introduce you to his family is.

[gasman70]

depends on how conservative the muslim family is, he could just be protecting you and his life because you're not muslim

[AngryCarl3]

Well if you're not a Muslim of course he's going to hide you. Do you follow an Abrahamic faith? If you don't he can't legally marry you.

[Anonymous]

Why is it all these non Muslims are with Muslims? Leave those people alone. Their ways are far too antiquated.

[Chayce]

Not posting you online isn't an issue. But he told you outright that he's afraid of showing you to his family.

[Pretendingtobesweet]

Prophet Mohamed is phony and Muslims are phony. No surprise

[MerakSahibi]

Because they aren't eating pig?

[Pretendingtobesweet]

@MerakSahibi 72 virgins in heaven? You believe that crap?

[MerakSahibi]

Men love cute virgins, that's human nature

[Pretendingtobesweet]

@MerakSahibi oh please 72 virgins are not enough for eternity

[MerakSahibi]

It's already unlimited

[Pretendingtobesweet]

@MerakSahibi you have no idea don’t you?

[Anonymous]

At least you're easy to hide.

[bingbongbangbung]

Looks like a walking garbage bag

[Opinion Owner]

@bingbongbangbung

[Anonymous]

he is likely just playing you. deep down, he knows his family will never ever accept you as his wife.

[LiamS95]

He can't tell his family about you as you're the forbidden fruit. Get used to it or dump him.

[6942Dantheman]

because he knows how Muslims families act. he's trying to not get you stoned.

[leviopperman]

why are you wasting what's left of your youth dating someone who won't introduce you to their family

[Iwccscg]

No the red flag is that he has a Muslim family

[DishLady]

He's ashamed of you.

[RareBreedOfMan]

Sounds like a red flag not too sure?

[TonyMetal___1986]

I think that @choco-latte can help you...

[canamlusciouslad73]

D**N SKIPPY !!!

[Alexson_stormzy]

Depends on the vision of the relationship

[noohair]

Red Flag, YES!

[noohair]

The structure of the family is Islamic. His father is the boss. You have to win over his father. The fact that he is concerned about his father should tell you everything.

[MasterKS]

if you are not muslim than yes.

[Staximus]

Sounds shady

[832dreamboy]

Yep.

[Kingofkings1992]

Lol.