Why would a guy who showed genuine care and niceness as teens treat me like a nobody now?

[Anonymous]

I was a loner he was nice to and made me feel seen in various ways… including his mother and sister in on making me feel included and he listened when no one else did… I was a loser.

I feel like afterwards when trying to reach out he didn’t really want to be friends or something.. I noticed he followed my cousins whom he didn’t know instead of me, I accidentally viewed his story and he set his page private.

actually I just wanted to thank him for his past kindness and congratulat him on his journey and I mustered up the courage to send that dm and he left it on read (recently)

but it stung and I just wondered if he saw I was actually a loser

[Anonymous]

I don't think you were a loser. I think you were someone who was lonely and needed kindness, and he happened to be one of the people who gave you that. Maybe his feelings or circumstances have changed, or maybe he simply doesn't want to reconnect, but none of that means he looks down on you now. The fact that he was kind to you back then doesn't mean he owes you a friendship today, but you also didn't deserve to be left feeling like your past self was something to be ashamed of. You reached out with a genuine message of gratitude, and there's nothing embarrassing about that. ❤️ I think what hurts most is that he made you feel seen at a time when nobody else did, so his silence now feels like rejection of the person you were back then. But please don't let his lack of response rewrite that memory or convince you that you were never worth knowing. You were worthy of kindness then, and you still are now

[Asker]

Yes… he was even the first guy to call me pretty… he was just so kinda and he had his twin sister come over to talk to me and ask me questions

I guess kindness is foreign for me and nothing has changed..

You’re right. I’ll try not to take it personal. Maybe I’m just not interesting like my cousins

[WhitneySnow]

You keep asking this. The answer’s not gonna change.

[WhitneySnow]

In my opinion, because he recognized (correctly) that you had a crush on him and he didn’t want to encourage you

[Asker]

No because I didn’t even notice him first and I genuinely thought he could be a cool friend. Wasn’t my type because he got into trouble and he changed his life completely around and I was proud from afar.. I mentioned his wife/ fiance and congradulated him on everything especially since he follows my cousins

[WhitneySnow]

Hmm. That is odd. Maybe he’s not as nice as he used to be. Or just super busy. Or he thinks you have a crush on him even if you really don’t. My advice is to just forget about this. Not important enough to worry about for months and months.

And just for the record, I’m not convinced you didn’t/don’t like him a little. Weird to get so upset over this for such a long time over a guy you just wanted to be regular friends with.

[Asker]

I think it was my ego that was bruised

[WhitneySnow]

Let it go. Your ego is not worth agonizing over this.

[Asker]

I’m not gon lie. I embarrassed myself and looked real bad. I was having a bit of a manic impulsive episode at the time and I really regret it. I probably look more like a loser to him now

[WhitneySnow]

You don’t. But that could be a reason why he didn’t respond. I’m bipolar too and a lot of people are put off by manic behavior. Try to forget about it and move on.

[Asker]

He doesn’t know anything about now but yeah… I’ll get over it

[Staximus]

Did he want to be your boyfriend but you acted like you weren’t interested?

[Asker]

If he wanted to be my boyfriend he would have asked

[Staximus]

Guys don’t ask girls who act uninterested to be their girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is overthinking it

[Asker]

Definitely and it made me look bad

[Opinion Owner]

He looks bad too.

[Danny_dan92]

Have you put out?