Is my protective coworker developing feelings, or just being supportive?

[Anonymous]

We are just coworkers that spend most of our time together because we have grown into really good friends that know and care about each other. I would say we have gotten really close and to the point where I am asking is it because we spend majority of our time together or if if he is starting to catch feelings for me. He has a girlfriend, but he never wants to bring her up to me anymore for some reason and that confusing to me. Everyone else that works with us thinks that we are dating because of how much time we spend together and cause I always help him out with anything he needs (its the type of people we are to help). Lately however he has been acting more protective when it comes to me (we work around a bunch of men so he will make his presence known or start watching me closely to see how I interact with them or hover over me when i am talking to them). He has been staring at me nonstop with these bubbly eyes when I talk to him and he will get extremely close when we have a conversation like in my bubble which I do not mind but that’s probably why they think we are together. I used to go find him, but I stopped and now he is finding me and initiating conversation with me. He remembers legit everything I tell him no matter how far back it is I legit have been quizzing him and he remembers it or if I bring to him something I need his opinion on he will react differently and actually care about what I have to say. He’s been walking me to my car at night or making sure that I am alright and acting more like a gentlemen when it comes to me lately. He has been defending me in conversations where my coworkers have been talking about me and he won’t tell me what they say because he doesn’t want my smile to go away. To me it seems like he is being a really supportive friend and I could tell him anything vise versa which I love because I do not need people in my life being mean and ugly and I would do the same. Advice?

[HollyK21]

Your coworker’s actions don't mean he’s falling for you, and tbh, setting your sights on a taken man is a messy and trifling move.

The most realistic reason he never brings up his girlfriend anymore is simply that he doesn’t need to vent to you. When people are secure and happy in their relationships, they don't feel the need to use their coworkers as sounding boards or emotional dumping grounds. His silence about his personal life isn't a sign of confusion or hidden desire, it just means his relationship is stable enough that it doesn't require outside discussion, especially with someone who is actively quizzing him and looking for signs of romance. You are reading way too deep into basic office camaraderie and a guy who is just being an attentive, polite gentleman.

It is incredibly messy to hover over a relationship that isn't yours and try to decode a taken man's everyday kindness. He’s being a supportive friend and a protective colleague in a male-dominated workspace, which is standard behavior for a decent guy. If everyone at work already thinks you’re dating, then you're crossing professional boundaries and putting yourself in a positions to get hurt — or cause drama — over someone who belongs to someone else. You should check your intentions, back out of his personal space, and stop trying to build a romance out of standard workplace friendship.

[Pterodon]

In short he fantasizes about fucking you. This will not go anywhere good. I know. I’ve been in his place. He’s probably already picturing you when he does his girlfriend. If you feel the same hurry up and get it over with but be prepared for any consequences

[FreyaRed]

Maybe, but don't confuse male protection automatically with romantic feelings.

[Nikki1989]

Don't mess with coworkers, especially ones that are taken.

[Anonymous]

It seems like he is into you. That doesn't mean it's a good idea to approach him if you KNOW he has a partner.