Do you hate when people poke fun at your insecurities?

[Kain6th]

Even if it's all in Jest? Got into I conversation about this with someone. Was wondering if people do hate it even if it was all for fun and not trying to anger you?

Updates

+1 y

Yes this is assuming this is a close friend or even just a friend period.

[Levin]

Not really. I don't really care about my physical imperfections or inadequacies. Of course, we all have our weak moments where we might wish we could change a certain aspect, but generally I don't dwell on them too much. I'm sure someone could target something deeper which may actually affect me more, but that's expecting too much of them.

I do question their intention though. I'm sure most would palm it off as 'banter', or that there's nothing malicious about it, but I think most use that as a cover to put you down, to elevate themselves. So that makes me question what sort of person they are and whether they have any insecurities or mean spiritedness to them. And of course, I'm eternally frustrated because sometimes it seems like it's impossible to have a deeper conservation. Most people are facetious and think everything needs to be a laugh.

But yeah, implicit in all this is some kind of assumption that I should care too heavily what others' think.

[Levin]

Oh, I'll tell you what does irritate me though, speaking of so called physical imperfections. When people say I'm skinny. They literally say, 'you're skinny'. No sh*t Sherlock. This is the kind of insight I have to deal with on a day to day basis :) Most of the irritation comes from the triteness of it all

[JohnnyBlaze]

Yes, I hate it a lot. I have Borderline Personality (something I don't tell my friends), which includes a very low self-esteem and almost a compulsion to be liked. When someone takes a shot at me, even just jokingly, I tend to take it a lot more personally than your average Joe.

[Leamonade]

*big fat hug*

[JohnnyBlaze]

Thanks! *blushing*

...correction: something I don't tell MOST of my friends. There is one girl who knew already!

[Leamonade]

I bet she feels special :D

[heavenonearth]

If it's people I don't know or don't care about my response is different, but considering the update:

I get pretty annoyed, but if they weren't doing it to anger me I can brush it off and be forgiving about it. I do think it's inconsiderate though, and if I tell them not to a few times and they disregard that, then we have a problem. The insecurities I have are insecurities for a reason, and I don't need friends who are going to belittle them and make them worse instead of supporting me in getting past them.

[heavenonearth]

Thanks for BA. :)

[Kain6th]

Yours and Brando got the most upvotes, and I liked yours better than his, so you win by default. :-D

[heavenonearth]

Haha okay.

[VetteGirl]

... depends on who does it. If it's someone that I consider a close friend, I usually egg them on and reciprocate. It's a lot like stand up comedy where no demographic group is safe from jokes. On the other hand, if someone who I don't know very well does it, one or two well-placed comments usually takes care of the situation. One of my favorite responses is, "get back to me on that once you've lived your life in my shoes."

[Lights]

It happens, friends joke around and occasionally it might not be something the other takes lightly. I tease my friends quite often so they can do the same to me, if they end up mentioning something I might be insecure about I know it wasn't their intentions to hurt me and 99% of the time I can usually joke about it with them.

[Anonymous]

Do you hate when people poke fun at your insecurities?

No, it wouldn't bother me. But this is easy for me to say because I'm not extremely insecure about anything.

We are in a day and age that if your jokes or suggestions revolve around passively insulting or ridiculing others, you simply are not funny. I promise you it has been done, it is time to revamp whatever creativity you have if any at all. If your jokes involve putting other people down, you probably aren't creative so I guess that is useless advice to someone who would do that.

Regardless, you should always seek to avoid hurting those you care for, which means that you take a few extra cautions, an extra moment to think before you speak, as to show them that you are actually their friend and worth having.

[Standingpretty]

Ugh, It can definitely be seen as lack of respect and people should not bring something up if it is known that it irritates someone on a personal level. I mean, you should get offended by someone else's opinion about public things like politics and such but talking about something personal is not cool. I have no insecurities anymore because I have put the past behind me, but, if any new ones come up I would be offended if someone chose to highlight them for "a jest".

[Bodycology]

I agree with this. Well said.

[Standingpretty]

Thank!

[Bodycology]

No one knows my insecurities, but I am sure that if there was something I was particularly sensitive about and my friend knew about it I would be very disappointed and betrayed.

I accidentally mentioned a friends insecurity in passing even after he had told me just how miserable it made him and I knew immediately I had to apologize. Thankfully, no one else was around and he was in a great mood so all ended well.

To answer the question, I would hate it.

[VetteGirl]

Update to your updated question: ... if it's a close friend, it doesn't really bother me. If it does, it's not really a close friend. I think a lot depends on how you feel about yourself and what you think is important in defining yourself when it comes to other peoples' comments.

[tohrment]

I don't really tell people what my insecurities are, so if they poke at it they don't know I'm insecure about it and it's unfair to get mad at them for it.

If that makes sense, lol.

If they do know and they are just joking, I doubt I'd get mad (probably just uncomfortable).

[Brando]

What's an insecurity? :)

In a serious response, the ability for someone to squeeze at your insecurities is a dangerous prospect and one that I don't risk very willingly.

[PoeticNinja]

I'm indifferent to it. Joke right back.. Nothing is wrong with joking back with them and laughing at your insecurities.

Unless, it's very serious.. Just tell them politely not to do it again and it was unnecessary.

[Deft_maiden]

No. I wouldn't like that. And I never do that knowingly. I don't mind instructive criticism from a trusted friend. Especially if I asked her.

[palek]

I don't have any anymore. Probably because after people poke fun at them long enough you just chuck em all.

[rachel05]

oh sure! it drives me crazy! when they talk like that I just kinda shove it off.. then later I worry like crud about it..

[Anonymous]

People tend to poke fun at things they would be insecure about, however I am not. I usually just hit them with something witty and move on. Their attempts to break me down fail, however I do think less of them for trying to put me down or manipulate me.

[DebiPie]

I don't think anyone knows what they are. lol

[Kain6th]

I mean close friends? Unless you don't share with close friends?

[DebiPie]

Nope, I don't.