My best-friend who rejected me for losers?

[plz22]

HI! I am just curious to see what you ladies have to say. :)

I have this super good looking friend. (female). I used to like her a LOT a couple years ago, but she was never attracted to me, not even a teeny tiny bit. I eventually just became very good friends with her. Now that we are good friends, We have a very very close relationship. I asked her what features in a guy attract her. She told me she really liked a guy's eyes, and she liked tall skinny men also.

I was extremely upset when she started dating this guy a few months after we had met. This guy was NOT good looking, he was semi overweight, AND he was VERY VERY LAME! lol. I mean this guy was a dud, no personality at all, no humor, no looks, no anything. This guy didn't even graduate high school and he worked at a local supermarket part-time.

Here I am being this amazing friend to this girl basically waving my hands in front of her saying "me me me, pick me!" Yet somehow she totally rejected me in the romantic sense. She went on and has dated several very questionable guys, all of which either cheated on her, or didn't satisfy her.

Meanwhile, we have a great friendship. It does get confusing sometimes though. She makes very sexual comments to me about stuff like "god I just had the greatest orgasm". She will say that randomly out of the blue through a text message. We also frequently talk about sex stuff. All of this, and yet I could never once convince her to be anything more than friends...

I am told by many people that I am very good looking, and I have this natural frame that makes me look perfectly "buff" and thin even when I don't workout or anything for months. Even my guy friends were baffled that I had never dated this "chik friend". They all tell me I am an attractive person, and a very like-able person as well. I somehow managed to make this girl love me as her best friend, yet she has told me she is not attracted to me at all sexually.

All of this doesn't make any sense! What is with this girl? I am 100% fantastic boyfriend material. I am very very loyal, built well, super fun personality, caring, intelligent, educated etc etc yet I totally get rejected by this girl who somehow thinks I am so great but rejected me more than once.

I guess what I want to know is this:

Is there really a "type" of guy who just won't ever be able to win you over? I have tried everything and she told me I'm just not her type. But then why does she talk with me about sex all the time? If we are that compatible, how on earth could she not like me?

I have had a girlfriend since meeting this girl. My Girlfriend told me I was amazingly attractive, good in bed, smooth, caring, and an excellent BF, yet this other girl wouldn't have me.. What is with this? It's not one of those "If we hook up our friendship will be ruined" things. She rejected me before we were friends..

Any opinions and info would be great! Thanks ladies!

I

Updates

+1 y

BTW. This girl also complains to me about how "nobody wants her". Does that sound a little messed up when she knew how much I liked her? WE are good friends, but I almost feel as if she is 100% just using me for an ego boost or something(like you said)

[miles786]

maybe you're just being too critical of this guy. there are a lot of people who are very quiet, and like you say appear to be "lame". The girl you like must be looking for something other than what you have described about yourself. If what you say is true, that being that you're attractive, have a good personality, and obviously have a lot of confidence the girl you are into may be intimidated by that. She may even be afraid of losing it as she's experienced some bad relationships in the past. By the sounds of it she seems like the outgoing, fun loving type, who probably similar to you feels the need to be wanted. She probably just figures you'll date for a little while and end it like like all the others, and destroy what seems to me is a worthwhile friendship. The best I can say is, although it sounds cliche', just to be yourself and don't put any pressure to move into a relationship. If something is there then it will happen, though it needs to be mutual of course.

From my own perspective I think this girl does like you more than the others, and that's why she keeps you so close. However, as I've mentioned she's must be used to bad relationships and scared of losing a good thing, YOU!. If you can prove to her you'll remain loyal and be the type of guy you describe I think there's no stopping you from getting this girl. I just hope your intentions are as honorable as you make them out to be or you could really hurt this girl.

p.s. you sound like a smart guy I just take offense to people who judge people before they get to know them. Its no big thing its just something you could learn from, which will not only make you smarter, but it will lead to a lot more worthwhile relationships. Maybe that's just what you need. Sorry if I didn't answer your question or if its even relevant anymore. Well watevs, pce.

[plz22]

Hey good answer. I appreciate the effort. Unfortunetely, this is one of those ridiculously complicated situations that just makes absolutely no sense anymore. She definitely has 0 interest in me in the relationship department. It just doesn't make sense when she tells me everyything, and crys to me she can't find this guy she is describing she wants, when that guy happens to be me. She has made it 100% clear she isn't into me like that. Funny eh?

[ap1100]

She complains "nobody wants her" because she's fishing for attention from you. She treats you like her girlfriend. Girls tell other girls how they just had great orgasms. Dishing dirt is how girls bond. She is using you to act like a platonic gay friend/girlfriend she can unload sizzling secrets to when it suits her, but you're also a straight guy who she knows will bend over to make her feel good because you're a nice guy. She loves the attention from you as a straight guy as well as the friendship. She is insecure deep down and needs to cling to you for support. But because she's insecure, she only thinks she's good enough to date cheaters and losers. She looks at you, the overly nice guy, and dismisses you because you're not out dating 12 women. Girls like this who don't love themselves for who they are get into relationships with guys they think are desirable, not guys who are good for them. She figures that if some guy is beating girls off with a stick, he must be worth dating no matter what a scumbag he is. Meanwhile, you're sitting at home on Saturday nights pining away for her and she figures you're not worth it... except as a "friend". Except people who are insecure can't have real friends, they just have victims. I'd steer clear of her.

[plz22]

A++ Buddy. That pretty much nabs it in the ass. I'll remain her friend, but have already chosen to steer clear of providing her with this ego boost she so desires. It's sad really how many girls I know who act this very way. They always date the scumbags and then wonder why they always get hurt or why things never work out for them.

[kayteeal]

I agree with 30sGal. This girl knows you'd hang off the edge of a cliff for her if she asked you to, so she's pushing it. She likes the feeling of being wanted, and knowing that no matter what she does you'll STILL want her.

The reason she may not be attracted to you might have to do with the fact that some girls lose all attraction to a man when he starts showing interest. Stop seeming so into her, stop asking her out, move on and find a girl who'll be as good to you as you are to her. If she starts chasing after you once it's too late, it's her loss. She had her chance with a good guy and she lost it.

I don't know if "taste" could have too much to do with it. I don't see how anyone could NOT be attracted to someone good looking with a good personality. I've kind of been in a situation like your female friend's before. It was different though, because my guy friend is a player, but if you really are as good as you say you are, there's no other logical reason for why she keeps rejecting you except that she wants a nice ego boost.

[kayteeal]

Commenting on your update, she complains that nobody wants her, hoping you'll come to the rescue and tell her how amazing she is and that she's just too good for everybody else. Another ego boost. It appears that she either 1) is very self centered or 2) has some inner conflict/self esteem issues. Even the most confident looking girls can secretly be struggling with a low self esteem.

[ap1100]

You're very right, as is your update. Girls like this only want what they can't have. I would move on not out of spite, but for your own benefit. Girls like this say they want a nice guy but wouldn't go out with one if they tripped over him. SHe'll eventually see what she's missing... kayteeal is smart on this.

[30sGal]

It sounds like she knows you dig her and it boosts her ego. She likes that you sorta hang off her every word/text/etc. You need to play a little harder to get as it seems as though she likes a little bad in her boy. Don't be so available to her and show interest in other girls. This may or may not work but you may end up finding a really great girl. Let this one get away...you don't need her.

You also mention that she has bad taste in guys - why would you want her to pick you then? Wouldn't it mean you were in that category? Just because one girl doesn't see how amazing you are doesn't mean all girls are that way. She has a certain type...we're not all that way. And her type will change (hopefully) as she gets older. And by then you'll have moved on and will realize that she's not YOUR type anymore.

I'm not sure that I'm helping or not...but good luck.

[NicoleLisBabii]

Maybe she's lying she probly thinks your hott haha

but she doesn't wanna ruin your friendship

and if she doesn't act like she likes you don't worry some girls can be very good acters!

[plz22]

Lol She has been a good friend for 3 1/2 years now and we have been very close in every aspect but romance. It's ok though I've lost the attraction to her now. I was just wondering what could be making her choose to choose poorly.

[B3nin]

Well then please 😌 sit down: There are some girls that are hoes and there are girls that are shy but maby you are just not here type of boyfriend material... But still you can still watch freaking Netflix with here on a couch and then get her into the mood with some talking

[arisato-]

That's the story of every good guys life. Fortunately there is a small 10% of girls who are actually looking for a nice guy, and not just using them for doormats. Find one of them.

[dude_0001a]

dude honestly you need to google this: david deangelo.., there's a whole world you don't know about.. lol gl!

[impasole]

umm losers don't matter/depends on the inside?