The Quarter Life Crisis!

At the age of 25, I’ve come to realise that there is an aspect of life that nobody warns you about. I don’t think any adult as I was growing up ever mentioned their 20s as being a time of horror or confusion. We always hear about the clichéd mid-life crisis where in the movies someone in their late 40s/early 50s randomly decides to dye their hair or buy a motorbike. But what about the quarter-life crisis…why is that never mentioned?

Perhaps you’re wondering what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve never heard the term before and you’re wondering how anyone could have a crisis at the age of 25. Surely I’m just being dramatic, right? Well, I wish (and perhaps even hope) that that is indeed the case. Sadly, there seems to be a growing body of evidence that I am moving across the border from “young adult” to “adult”. This isn’t a friendly border that greets you with flower necklaces (or Leis) and champagne. No, this is a hostile border with armed guards and vigorous, even invasive searches. It marks a change: one where you begin to realise that you’re not that young anymore. I mean if you compare yourself to others, you may seem young but you know in your heart that there are doors closing behind you that will never be open again…and it’s a little terrifying.

The Hair!

The Quarter Life Crisis!

So what is actually going on? Well, a receding hairline for one. That’s right, the male-pattern baldness gene which I always knew was inevitably coming my way has finally been activated: Similar to a Treadstone agent from the Bourne movies. One of the worst things about this is that once you become aware of it, you feel like it’s constantly getting worse. I’ve always had thick hair and after a few months of not getting it cut, I usually feel like I’m wearing a door-mat on my head. Yet as I near the 3-month mark I can run my hands through my hair and notice how unusually thin it is. It feels wispy and it serves to remind me of what my grandparent’s hair was like not long before their death. Many people can go bald and own it but I have an abnormally large head and baldness would not suit me. I also wouldn't mind going bald if I could grow a thick beard, unfortunately I seem biologically/genetically incapable of that as well. Everyone I ask says I'm being paranoid and that they don't notice a difference but I guess the coming years will reveal the truth!

The Teeth

My teeth have started to become a problem as well. I’ve always regretted not getting braces because my bottom teeth are all over the place but not quite erratic enough to create any medical issue…or at least they weren’t. This time last year, I went to my dentist after 6 months of wisdom teeth pain. Not from one tooth or two teeth but three wisdom teeth. Luckily my dentist assured me that they’re just moving but aren’t creating any long-term damage. However, one year later and my three wisdom teeth are still creating issues. I still have this fear that my teeth are all moving like continents and that the removal of wisdom teeth (if it eventually happens) won’t change that without braces (which cost a small fortune and would look bizarre on a 25 year old balding man!)

The Body

The Quarter Life Crisis!

I’ve also found that going to the gym has started to become more difficult. Where I used to be able to laze around for months, only moving off the sofa to eat, wash, use the bathroom, sleep and then return to the gym with a similar level of strength. I now find that even when I’m regularly going to the gym, my strength isn’t improving. This could be down to diet but if anything my diet has improved: I’ve cut out refined carbs as much as possible and I certainly eat less junk food. I’ve barely touched alcohol so far this year and my drug intake has also been drastically lower (1). By all accounts my gym game should be the best it has ever been! Yet even finding the motivation to go is a challenging endeavor!

This doesn’t even touch upon the sore feet and legs I get from going down the couple of flights of stairs from the flat to the street outside. I can run quite happily and my legs barely suffer (at least that was the case the last time I went for a run) but small walks seem to rip the energy right out of me. I've had back pain! That's right, a week or so ago I threw my back out like an old man. To be fair, that one is on me rather than my body but I was hobbling around for a couple of days as if I was 95!

Another thing is my metabolism. I’ve always had an incredibly high and efficient metabolism and my flatmate used to describe me as “carb-resistant” because I could live off carbohydrates and not put on any weight…but over the last 6 months or so, my metabolism has been starting to slow. In truth, this could be due to a number of things but part of me always knew this day would come. I’ve joked about it with people in the past: about how one day it will all just hit me and those chippies for lunch and bags of sweets and sugary drinks that I consumed over the course of two decades will suddenly take their toll.

The Mind

A quarter-life crisis isn’t limited to just physical effects though. I find myself feeling mental side effects as well. These are most likely due to my sudden awareness of the physical aspects but it’s still all a bit bizarre. I’ve never really been a night owl by any means. I mean on nights out I can stay up as late as anyone but on a day-to-day basis I’ve always leaned more towards an early night.

Recently, this seems to be even more the case as I find myself waking up earlier and going to bed earlier. As of this morning, I was naturally awake at 6:58 and up working by 8.

The Quarter Life Crisis!

Of course now that I’m living in Spain I should have adjusted to having a siesta in the heat of the afternoon (which is a whole other topic on its own). Instead, I find myself feeling pretty awake until about 5 and then the rest of the evening I can barely function due to sheer tiredness. That doesn’t even cover the other impacts that aging has brought on. Where I used to be able to binge TV shows and films, I find myself getting bored. In truth, this could perhaps be a positive change as I spend WAY too much of my time watching movies and TV shows…but when I’m going to be bored regardless, at least I could stick a film on that I’d seen a million times already and still enjoy it.

The Money

Now, before I start discussing money it is important to realise that some stereotypes are based on facts and as a Scottish person (2), yes, I tend to be quite tight with my money. I can think of many examples through my life where I chose not to buy something simply because I didn’t want to spend my own money. Granted, the opposite of this has also been true where impulse has led to me returning from work with a Playstation 4 (which I returned the next day).

Yet now, more than ever, I find myself thinking about everything I buy. My mind focuses on the work aspect i.e. how much work do I need to do in order to cover the cost of what I’m buying. Do you have data limits set on your phone? I have similar limits mentally set on my bank and when I reach a certain level of cash alarm bells ring. Again, this isn’t perhaps entirely a negative development but it does make me full super old. It’s important to realise that I’m not a mature person. I have a bag of googly eyes in my bag that will be getting attached to inanimate objects in the near future and I'm currently sitting in Avengers pyjama bottoms.

The Career

An additional mental aspect that hits you around this age is your career. When you’re aged 15, 18, 21, even 23, you feel like you’ve “got time”. You’ve got time to go to university, you’ve got time to start a career from the bottom and work your way up, you’ve got time to decide where you want to be in life and put some sort of a plan into action. Time, time, time, time, time!

As you near 25, you soon begin to realise that many people already have this plan: they’re working in a job that is taking them towards their chosen destination, they’ve built up a CV with managers who will give them references. Up until recently, one of my references on my CV was the shop where I did my paper round for 5 years!

This fact sort of sends you into an existential crisis of sorts where you start to realise that you aren’t that great at anything. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an author, then I wanted to be an entrepreneur (until I realised I have the charisma of a log!), then it was a clinical psychologist (until I realised that you needed to have a ton of experience before getting into an entry level psychology job) and so I settled on becoming a police officer (until I realised that I enjoy drugs and strongly disagree with the drug laws in my country(3)). So perhaps it is some form of regression that has me once again knocking on the doors of authorship in search of a career (4)!

The End

The Quarter Life Crisis!

Strangely, despite my life not nearing its end (not that any of us actually know that…but we can hope) I do find myself considering the mortality of others. I’ll see the parents of school friends and be shocked, even speechless, at how much older they look. When you grow up with people, you never look at them and think “wow, he’s aged drastically since those days when we used to use sticks as pretend lightsabres!” but when you see someone’s parent after some amount of time, it sort of hits you like a brick wall.

This of course then leads you to considering the mortality of other people: siblings, parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, pets…pets especially! My dog is like 12 this year and my last dog died at the age of 13. It’s a little worrying! Every time I hear that a family member has to go to the hospital, regardless of the reason I fear the worse. My uncle was recently taken to hospital with a heart issue and I figured that his time had come. Turns out it should be treatable, but my mind regularly returns to the realisation that my parents are old. There is a moment every now and again where I genuinely worry that any day now I’m going to look in the mirror and be unable to recognise myself. What if I’m actually sitting in a home for the living dead right now and I’ve lost all my memories from 2018 onwards? I look around and don’t recognise a single person, where I am, my own possessions…myself. Do I feel angry? Upset? Cheated? If you lose all those memories and die without them…have you really lived?

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!

I was going to end on that but it seemed a little dark and gloomy. Allow me to clarify that I’m not regularly fearing the great abyss and the general aging process isn’t what scares me…rather it’s our inability to focus on the present that causes time to appear to whizz by. Time is merciless, it’s ruthless, and it doesn’t waver or flutter for anyone. You can’t tame time: it’s like a winding, powerful, flooded river which froths over sharp rocks and cascades down giant waterfalls. You’re riding along on an inflatable ring, watching as each sight goes by, wishing that you could get a few moments longer to admire the view…but each moment you waste struggling against the power of the river only causes you to miss more!


#BakedHaggis #CammysMyTakes

1. https://rantingravingblog.wordpress.com/2018/02/23/weed-vs-alcohol/

2. https://rantingravingblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/05/scottish-independence/

3. https://rantingravingblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/07/psilocybin-experience/

4. https://rantingravingblog.wordpress.com/2016/02/27/better-title-pending-book-extract/


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What Girls Said 15

  • I enjoyed your take. I even chuckled at some of your statements because I can relate to some of them. Age 25 really is a pivotal point in most people's lives. But, you are never to old to start something new or reinvent yourself. That's why there is a sunrise and sunset. But I agree with the last part of your take most of all. Time waits for no one.

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    • Our friend @gothgirl997 has blocked me, after accusing me of ageism (somehow)

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    • Wait, ageism that can't be a real thing, can it?

    • @Bobthebuildr apparently, it is real. I'm curious to read her "take" on it

  • I went back to uni at 28! It's never too late for that haha

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    • I want to go back at some stages to do a Masters degree. It will probably be when I'm 28 as well!

  • You know people who are 60 wear braces. And technology is remarkable these days, you can get invisible braces (they put the braces on the other side of the teeth and not where it's visible), but first you do have to take care of these wisdom teeth. As you say, sooner or later you're gonna gave to. Might as well get it over with now, then get on with the invisible braces and in a couple years you'll be glad you made that decision 😊

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    • If I could have, I'd have had all my wisdom teeth ripped out the last time I went to the dentist. However, then I'd have to pay for the procedure which I quite simply cannot afford. Whereas if it's medically necessary then the government covers the costs. So until such a time as I actually have to get them removed, I just have to suffer through it

    • But if you tell your dentist your wisdom teeth are causing you pain, doesn't it become a necessity to rip them out and therefore have the procedure covered by the government?

    • Nah, the pain I'm having is pretty normal because they are still coming in, just very slowly.

  • I can relate to this, I felt like I was going through a quarter life crisis from the age of 21. I actually had a therapist call it that. lol. good read

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  • The 20s are a place of great and not so great changes that's true. They you set your future.

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  • You forgot that if you wait too long, women ur age will expire lmao

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  • Hey Cammy Cam ☺️💕

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  • Male pattern baldness really is the worst curse 😂

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  • Nice take

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  • This is interesting.

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  • Good take

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  • Nice take

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  • Adulthood seems like its way too hard 😓

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    • Adulthood is easy if you live, and be true to yourself, don't follow others, and don't live by societies expectations.

  • Ummm no

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  • Haha interesting

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What Guys Said 32

  • I think you are crazy.

    I started going bald. Honestly, I look better and I've always worn a buzz or real short cut most of my life so really nothings changed except now I don't even have to cut my hair as much.

    Teeth. No issues. So nothing to say.

    Health. You are nuts. I am fit and getting better all the time. Im in the best shape of my life.

    Mind. I don't know whats wrong with my mind? Im sharper than I have ever been and am wise instead of stupid so I do so much better at everything.

    Money. Yeah. Thats good to do though. You should always save when you can. So no big deal.

    Career. I don't know I have always had great jobs since I was 18 I was an account opener at a bank which was about $35k per year and then less than two years later I worked at a private financial institution and made serious pay around $80k per year.

    Stop worrying so much and just do the right stuff. The reason you have a crisis is because you are wasting your life. Nobody who does the right things has a crisis, mid life or otherwise. For women they hit the wall, for men they have a mid life crisis. It only happens when you fucked up your life before that.

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    • I didn't say anywhere that this applied to everyone and the term "crisis" was just a play on the 'mid-life crisis' idea. I'm more physically fit than I've ever been, smarter than I've ever been, and still in my prime. However, the point of this post was simply to highlight that I've noticed certain things that you wouldn't expect until later life.

      I'm also not wasting my life at all but I appreciate the concern! Not knowing exactly what I want to do isn't quite the same as wasting your life.

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    • It is. Personally I have a goal I want to achieve and it will take me most of my life. So I have something I work towards every single day and I hope when I am about 70 it will be fully realized and then I can relax and enjoy it.

      Everything I did before that wasn't always working to that goal and it really is upsetting to me. But im past it.

      Shit but if I didn't figure it out until I was like 50 id freak and leave my wife and buy a corvette too. LMAO.

    • @ElvenMr I did not go to school at that time. I had a HS diploma at the bank. Then I networked to get the other job. Then after that I went to school part time and got a degree (that I never have and never will use). Then I started my own company and am set.

  • I may have skimmed but I feel like you forgot the part where you start to re-evaluate friendships like removing toxic and selfish people from your life and focusing more on friendships that add value with your time spent on them as opposed to wasting your time.

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    • No, you're completely right. I missed that out entirely and I have no idea why. Good catch though!

  • Interesting read, I went through the same thing pretty much but I didn’t really do anything with myself till I hit 30 actually , the rest of the time I was just wandering around in life not knowing what to do

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    • That's pretty much how I feel right now

    • Yeah the problem was I had no direction , eventually I had a goal and made a plan to follow through with it

  • Dude - SO many people I know went through a quarter life crisis. It's fine - use it as an opportunity to review your value system. Just going through all the things you believe (or don't), reviewing them, and proving them back to yourself makes a huge different. This is life telling you to pause and re-orient. Our generation deals with more anxiety than any other because we CAN look at all the possibilities. Analysis paralysis.

    My recommendation - start with the body. Diet / exercise. Don't go crazy with it - start with some simple basics. Establish self control. That control is a nice re-enforcement of your capabilities to figure it out - you can look at yourself and feel / see change week over week, month over month.

    One thing that helped me (and a lot of other folks I know) - use Jordan Petersons Future Authoring program. Doesn't mater what you think of his politics. It's not ideological at all. It's a series of guided questions that help you map out whatever timeframe you want. Always helps to have tools.

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    • I've been considering that actually. I'm halfway through reading his book: '12 Rules of Life' and I did look into the Future Authoring Program and it sounds truly fascinating. I've been meaning to explore it further

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    • She's fantastic - sold me on intermittent fasting... which is excellent by the way. You should give it a shot if you haven't already. You should check out this guy for science based nutrition / exercise as well : https://www.youtube.com/user/TheTdelauer ... lots on keto (if that's your jam), etc.

    • Yeah I also do intermittent fasting!

  • The 20's are the best years of your life... or they were for me at least. Life only becomes worse as you get older. By 30 you realize your youthful years are officially over and by 40 you get the middle age blues. By 50 the old man vibe kicks in and then it really sucks. It won't matter if you still feel young, people will see you and treat you like an old man.

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  • Enjoy these last 5 years. The game changes when you hit 30 and you'll so want to be 25 again. But I totally went through that quarter-life "what am I doing with myself" existential crisis from 25-28. You ain't as young as you used to be and no one told you about life after schooling.

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  • What the fuck is wrong with you? Grow up! You aren't a kid, and you are making mountains out of what aren't even mole hills. Who cares about hair, teeth, waking up early, and the fact that if you are a lazy slob you will turn into an unemployable blob? Seriously, you have been coddled far too much for far too long.

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    • I'm just highlighting some of the things I've noticed, settle down! I'm neither laze nor unemployable and I've never been coddled in my entire life. I feel like there is a deeper issue that you're taking here.

  • When I was in the military, we were told that the body starts breaking down at age 23, which I always thought was a bit ridiculous.

    I remember age 25 as a pretty good time in general. I was pretty hard on my body back then at times in terms of a lack of sleep, but otherwise treated it pretty well.

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  • Goddamned millennials. It's not a "crisis" - it's just life.

    Your time here is short, and this time will not come again. This is your physical prime. Fuck, I'd give YOUR left nut to be 25 again.

    Just work out, go be a fucking lion, work hard, earn your way, and get laid. Enjoy it.

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    • I know! Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying life and living it to the fullest. I only used the term crisis because 1. It's a play on the term 'mid-life crisis' and 2. The things I was discussing were only the negative aspects of this age. I mean do you complain about previous generations using the term 'mid-life crisis'? After all, that isn't a crisis, it's just life. So don't blame this on millennials when i'm simply taking a term used by previous generations.

  • It hurts a little to hear a fellow brother also struggling with MPB. I haven't even hit my 20s yet fml

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  • Wow. If you want to go to university, just go, or there's always the Open University. (How are you sorted for Brexit, btw?) If you don't like Spain's drug laws, could you move to Portugal?

    Oh, and you ain't seen nothing yet! :)

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  • Great take, I think you'll be just fine though. I'd like you to write this again at my age! Lol

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  • At 25 you're now well and truly past the quarter mark of your life. The average life-expectancy of a Scottish male is 76 years (Scotland has one of the lowest life-expectancies in Europe). So based on that average longevity, you reached a quarter of your life at 19. You're now well into the second quarter of your life, and in only 13 years you would have reached your midlife.
    You should think very carefully about your life and what it means to you. It is passing you by right now and the years will continue to slip past very quickly and quietly. Find something of significance, something that gives your life a sense of meaning. Because soon you will be dead, every meal that you eat is a meal closer to your grave.

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    • I live in Spain which is much higher up the list than Scotland, in terms of life expectancy

  • want some advice? You are still young enough to get the youngest legal and thus most fertile and most sexy girls on the planet. But your time is short. bed down as many as you can before this doors closes.

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  • I don’t know dude. I’m 25 and still feel pretty damn young. I can relate to certain things you’ve mentioned though.

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  • No one knows when they are going to die because any second could be the moment you die. Why call 25 a quarter crisis? That implies you are guaranteed to live until you are 100 years of age.

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  • I don't want to read this if only to not make myself worry for the next two years.

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  • If by crisis you mean the best times you will ever experience, then yes.

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  • nice take. I am now at 41. I missed a lot. wondering whats gonna happen when I hit 50..

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  • That was quite interesting

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  • Nice take

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  • Interesting thread

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  • Definitely a good take...

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  • Life hasn't even begun to fuck you yet

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  • Interesting

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  • Tell me about it. I still can't get my first job. Living with my parents. FML. I have sent over 400 applications. Different formats, layouts, info, etc. Nothing. Employers deserve a lot of hate.

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  • Quite a lot of what you mentioned is due to diet. ' I’ve cut out refined carbs as much as possible and I certainly eat less junk food.'

    That won't cut it. You need to learn what your body tells you, how to balance hormones, and aid the body in detox. You could eat a balanced meal religiously and still be devoid of iodine, magnesium, organic sulfur, and canabinoids.

    I train daily, am full of energy, and have learned how to improve my dental health. You can use a Waterpik Waterfloss, Apagard, Periactil, Celtic salt and a sonic toothbrush.

    In terms of where your teeth sit, or how straight they are, this is related to the quality / quantity of fat soluble vitamins you intake, and vitamin K2. My teeth became straighter over the years, and my gums have become pinker. You can also remove tartar, and prevent it from building up by using what I mentioned.

    At my age, I feel and look better than I did when I was 25.

    And by the way, my daily training is with an Isokinator Green Giant while listening to Dragon Ball Z motivational videos.

    The other day I had someone come up to me asking what weight lifting routine I did in the gym... but I don't even lift... just Isokinator Green Giant.

    Doing less daily, has given me more gains than doing more one day on, one day off. For the receding hair, you can use a battery operated scalp massager for 10-15 minutes a day (while watching a movie), with American Trichology Hair recovery foam. But you will need to learn how to balance your hormones as well. Watch for feminine shaped chest, or man boobs, that means the hormones need balancing.

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    • I'm not sure I fully understand the teeth routine aspect of what you've mentioned. Would you mind explaining that in a bit more detail?
      I have nothing but lean muscle on my chest so no man boobs here.

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    • I'll have to look into that, thanks!

      You also mentioned balancing hormones. Both, in relation to hair loss and dental care. Such as the iodine, magnesium, organic sulfur, and canabinoid levels within my body. What would you advise for that?

    • I know you're anonymous but if you didn't mind "revealing yourself" by sending me a message, you seem incredibly insightful in this area and I'd love to pick your brain about how to achieve what you're talking about.

  • Good stuff

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