I weigh the most I've weighed in my life. Should I kill myself?

I've been maintaining 113 lbs at 5'4 for 2 years through strict calorie counting and light exercise. The one time in my life that I decide to let go of the food scale for 3 days has caused me to gain 5 pounds! I even fasted the following day, didn't overeat afterwards and continued counting calories, but I cannot return to my normal weight. What should I do? I feel like a failure and am too scared to go out in public looking like the cow I am. Help?
I weigh the most I've weighed in my life. Should I kill myself?
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