I feel like running away from everything?

[Anonymous]

I work two jobs and am a college student with lots of classes. I already had depression beforehand and trauma from past abuse. I do see a councillor. Lately I've been feeling like im making everything worse in my life. Like ill end up like Bojack Horseman, crying over things lossed, on drugs, and throwing my life away and just fucking anything.

I feel like running from everything and throwing it all away. I feel like I messed up everything. Like my life is worthless. I dont know what to do. I won't have vacations until May and im barely alive as it is. My compulsion to run is growing and I can barely handle it anymore.

Any advice? NOTHING SPIRITUAL. I WILL NOT CHANGE MY VIEWS SPIRITUALLY.

[mja091]

Would you ever consider taking time off from school to re-evaluate your current situation? A semester or two? Maybe just focus on work so you can save for school in the future? It seems to me that you are under a tremendous amount of stress with work and school and its beginning to kill you and wear you down.

Your life is NOT worthless.

[Asker]

Its work that is hurting me not school. I haven't had a vacation in over a year and I already suffered from depression

[mja091]

do you need to work TWO jobs? Are you able to work one or do you need them both to afford school?

[MysteriousAnswerer]

Keep fighting. Don't give up. Why are you working two jobs? Do you need to?

[MysteriousAnswerer]

Why don't you get a sugar daddy to lessen the financial burden?

[Asker]

Money and I can't. There are too many reasons why I can't have a sugar daddy. Morally to me it is disguisting. Physically I can't.

[MysteriousAnswerer]

You can google the website. She it may seem a bit unethical, but it will be a load off of your mind. I do it, and all my friends do it, it makes things so much easier for us. Some of us even strip. I did it and worked only 6 months in LA as a stripper, and was able to live off of that and pay tuition for the rest of my college days.

[Asker]

No you dont understand. I can't do it. Past trauma has made it impossible for me to do it. Id rather work for the rest of my life in misery. Its too painful to even consider.

[MysteriousAnswerer]

Cam girl? Doesn't pay as well, but then you can detach yourself from the guys. :) Work at home!

[Asker]

How can I explain this? Nothing sexual. I was VERY traumatised to the point where I hate even showering naked.

[MysteriousAnswerer]

Donate blood and plasma. Make a YouTube channel if you are pretty enough. Become an imaginary girlfriend and get paid for being one. Model.

[Asker]

Ill try donating blood and plasma but I dont have the looks for modeling or youtube channel

[MysteriousAnswerer]

Are you sure? Or do you just have low self esteem?

[Asker]

I have depression and have been eyed simply for my body not my looks. I work to make a living without explotation but because I have a tendency to be stupid and gossip I get myself into trouble which makes work harder and harder.

[MysteriousAnswerer]

Post a picture, and ill tell you honestly if you are pretty or not and weather you can do something with it.

[MysteriousAnswerer]

You know my name. It is a favor from girl to girl.

[Asker]

Ill message you in private.

[MysteriousAnswerer]

Okay.

[Asker]

A name isn't much to go on but ill bite.

[MysteriousAnswerer]

I'll give you makeup tips.

[Asker]

Hmh alright. Ill trust you. I followed you. I think you are suppose to follow me back