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I'm not going through this at the moment, luckily got my life together and back to my normal weight. But I have been through this. I got dumped as well, failed an important subject at my university, lost a few friends because I got dumped. I turned to drinking and eating a lot if takeouts. I gained around 15 kg that time, not sure how many pounds that is. And I hated it because I used to love my fit body and I threw it away because of all the shit I was going through.
It took some time for me to get my life back together and get healthy and exercising again. I hope you find the strength to do it as well if your weight really bothers you that much. It can be done, but your mindset and bad habits need to change, as well as incorporating more exercises.
If you're happy with the way you are then don't lose it *
I have gained 20 kg I don’t know how much that is in pounds. Since I was 13 I started caring about how I looked and I followed this YouTuber who did pilates and from there I started counting calories and I did well and lost weight. However that turned into obsessiveness and together with my anxiety and depression and stress I gained it all back and even more. My eating habits are ruined for life I cannot eat normal now. I either eat a little or a lot. I lost that weight again but after the death of a parent, my stress and mental issues I am now at my biggest weight I have ever been. I think I will always yo yo like this in life. Since I have bipolar my mood affects how I eat a lot. I have lost around 3 kg now and am still losing. But I still try.
Oh are you diagnosed or is it just s figure of speech? But bipolar is more with mood. Changing minds like that is more borderline which I also do. And yeah that sucks :(
I put on a lot of weight (about 100lbs) due to depression in high school and going through an abusive relationship as well. A stint in the Navy helped me drop about 75 pounds, but I’ve gained some of it back (about 35lbs) since having my children (4 little ones). I’m working at getting it back off again, but it’s a slow and steady process. Try focusing on loving yourself and perhaps make small adjustments with your diet and/or exercise regimen, and hopefully that helps. Hang in there!!
Yes, it was hard to get used to at first, but after a while, I realized I had to focus on taking it day by day if I wanted to lose it. The 100lbs was gained in less than a year, and that was an extremely rapid change for me. I went through hating my body, grieving the loss of how I used to look, to accepting that this was where I was physically. After I accepted it, I decided I wasn’t happy having difficulty doing little things, and pushed myself to change. I know I may never be where I was physically again, but I’ve also learned to love my body for what it can do.
For me I notice how people’s reaction to me is totally different now when I was skinny like my top pic I was a total head turner whenever I would walk into any room anywhere at all. And even when I had only gained 20 pounds that changed. It’s amazing how people treat you based on how you look. Guys would be like nervous when they would speak to me also. Now no one really notices me and I’m usually wearing like normal clothes when before I would always be showing my tummy or my legs or my chest off. That’s why I say it’s literaly like I’m a different person. I also outgrew my favorite store well I should say stores.
I have tried going to the gym after I get off work but I’m really unfocused and exhausted and I am really not into it. I’ve tried dating guys that are into the gym hoping maybe I can get on their routine and they will get me motivated but honestly the gym really isn’t my thing. I used to stay thin by playing sports and being active but I live in a different place and have different friends. And my new friends are my coworkers which go out drinking after work together and stay up late and eat pizza before we go home so I’m always going to sleep with a full tummy.
The girl in the pic with me used to play softball with me and we would go running together every morning. She didn’t recognize me at first and when she did she like gasped! She looked like she was a ghost or somthing. People kept coming up to me at the wedding asking if I was ok or depressed it was really hard for me. Also I was wearing shape wear to hold my tummy in and that was super uncomfortable especially with how full I got. So I took it off at the reception and after i did my friends were like staring at my full belly while talking to me it was terrible.
I’m sorry you went through that. It’s horrible how differently people treat each other when someone gains weight. I’m sure it’s been very hard for you. The only thing I can think of to suggest to you right now is if you’re wanting to take the weight off, perhaps speaking to a nutritionist would help. The gym isn’t for everyone, I don’t blame you. I tried different gyms, but didn’t feel comfortable until I found a women-only gym. Personally I try to walk wherever I go (with destinations inside of ten miles) jog when I can, and drink an insane amount of water.
Marriage was tough for me that way. For a start, I was used to prepping meals and eating my own way, and not dining out so much. I gained around 35lbs or so in the first few years of marriage with my wife. My wife called it "happy weight" since I was happy and I gained it dining out a lot with her and drinking and having fun together.
I ended up losing that in about six weeks through hard training and going back to the way I ate when I was a bachelor. Now I think I have to do that again since I've been slacking off and drinking too much in the past several months.
I don't have before pics since I tend to shy away from having pictures taken of me generally speaking and don't have so much, but especially when I'm in my worst shape. I do have an "after" though after I lost a lot of weight:
Now I have to do it again because I'm getting some love handles once more. :-D
It's a bit difficult because I have to desynchronize my eating habits from my wife usually to lean down. She has a much more active lifestyle than me (I'm a software dev and sit around all day) so I can't eat the way she does without getting body fat creeping up on me. Then I have to train hard to work it off and eat very separately from her at least until I get reasonably lean again.
It’s differrent for me when I’m in a relationship I lose weight well I’ve honestly always been thin until I got dumped last year this is my first time where I have a belly of any kind. But being in a relationship motivates me to be more active and go to the gym with my partner so for me being in a relationship makes or keeps me thin. But I haven’t been in a year so
In my case, I think because my job is so sedentary, my way of getting lean and staying there (especially at my age now -- I'm 39) is pretty antisocial and extreme. :-D It's like train super hard for a while and eat like a fanatical health nut (which I don't mind doing much at all). But it doesn't work so well in social settings since I take it to the extremities. So marriage and sharing a household with a partner who likes to cook and go out for dinner together was always tough for me that way.
One benefit of a sedentary job is that if we can work up the motivation and get ourselves out of a slump, I think it does leave us with some reserve energy to expend in very intense ways in short bursts of time. I can lean down fairly quickly, as a result, doing things like sprint intervals and eating very well.
I have seen manual labor types with much more active jobs struggle more in that regard than me, and I did that type of work in university (I moved heavy bedframes in and out of rooms and up and down stairs in a hotel part-time), and that left me so exhausted that I didn't have that energy to expend working out. Meanwhile, the lengthy hours of moderate-intensity work (which I'd make easier on myself by seeking the path of least resistance) often left me feeling famished and wanting to eat a boatload.
With the sedentary job I now have, the appetite doesn't build up so much if I can resist snacking out of boredom, and I can use all that extra energy I have to train in very short but intense bursts that don't work up my appetite too much.
My favorite way to ease back into it and out of the slump (which I'm doing now) is stair climbing. I always found that a bit more approachable than sprint intervals, though climbing up and down a bunch of stairs starts to really fatigue the quads and surrounding muscles and get our heart elevated. I tend to do that for a week or two and then I start getting the energy motivation to do more, like sprint intervals, and calisthenics, and then slowly work my way back into weight training at the gym.
>> I haven’t broken the routine of going to sleep with a full tummy yet
I still eat often at like midnight and stuff a lot. It tends to be quite lean foods though like a salad or veggie sticks or liver (liver is my superfood) or chicken breast or something like that. I never found the timing thing so important in my case. I never found the timing that important for leaning down and staying there as long as it's not like empty calories or super calorie-dense foods with low satiety (most fats like peanuts and almonds have this effect on me).
Yes. Life happens. I would say, something changed you in the last year and you are using food as a clutch (it happened to me). Some people smoke, some people drink, some people eat. I would try to slow down and figure out what makes you unhappy or triggers the habits you want to change. Find balance.. sometime we think if we would be different, you would be happier. I say it is the other way around, if we would be happier, we could be different.
I agree.. it sucks being the lame duck. You can minimize the drinking, which can add up the calories, or eat very clean during the non social meals. Another alternative, is to burn more calories, like exercising and walking.. I used to complain also with the same excuses, but I realized there are other people who have the same activities and lifestyles, they just move around more or eat better during the day. I also learned, to relax and take one meal at a time.
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So glad you are proud of your journey and you should be. I totally support you. Here are some of my before and afters over the years. Stay Motivated 🖤


65lbs all together. I gain and lose but I typically keep it under control. Awesome post. If you want times, diet plans, etc just dm me. 💙💜🖤
No more to my hips and thighs.
My waist usually stays small. 😇
After a sexual assault. Got very depressed and stopped eating. 😢
Started*
No it's okay. It's a part of my story. 💜
Thanks for the support and I killed the pullups before my shoulder injury. 💙💜🖤
Yeah I ended up ruining my metabolism when I was younger by dropping 30lbs in 3 weeks by starving myself while exercising like crazy. I ended up putting back on the weight and a shit ton more and I haven't been able to get it off no matter how much I diet and exercise
So you're saying you need someone else to control your eating habits because you don't have control of yourself.
For the record, this is why a woman being fat is such a turnoff. It says she lacks self-control and motivation, so the man is gonna have to work extra hard to keep her fit. And he's gonna be presented as a shallow, controlling asshole the whole time.
Your beave, pretty and cute. Thanks for sharing your story. Keeping a steady weight is always tough to do. Like you said so many factors can cause us to gain weight and loose weight.
I deleted all my old fat pics.
I only have selfies but I dont post my face on here
But you can see a difference in my face
Well, get in shape.
Eat well and get regular exercise.
Gaining 70 pounds isn't normal and healthy.
It’s okay! Body weight doesn’t matter. Every body is beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
Getting dumped, a job change, and whatever the hell you mean by lifestyle change didn't cause that. Your habits did. Take some ownership
Again stop blaming others
I don't set aside time to specifically work out, but I to make an effort to do a lot of little things. Like take the stairs up 2-3 floors instead of the elevator, go for a walk to the store instead of driving there, etc
I've put on like 30 pounds if you would like to talk feel free to hit me up but just keep smiling
If your wanting to see a pic of me I don't mind just follow me I'll send you. one showing you my weight gain nothing bad though
Like I said I don't mind to show you but not here sorry
Will you pm me?
You have so beautiful face
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