I blacked out for 4-5 hours on Saturday?

[Anonymous]

I'm bipolar. Recently diagnosed. I was prescribed Abilify but because my insurance won't pay for it, I am just without the medication. I am still currently on Zoloft for depression. Anyways, I blacked out on Saturday for several hours and when I came back to reality, I was told that I got into a fight with like 3 women at the same time and that I guess I snapped when one of the girls said something disrespectful to me..

The security guard told me that one minute I was fine, the girl talked her shit and then I just didn't even look like myself and snapped on all of them. It is not something i would normally do and I feel extremely guilty for it because I know that I can fight and not many people can and it appears that I took advantage of that.. even if they were talking mess, I shouldn't have blacked out and snapped on them. But I also am not sure why I blacked out. I have blacked out before when people disrespect me but only for like a few minutes. Never hours. I am terrified of myself and I do not know what to do to get help seeing as I am already trying to maintain my mental health and have mental health professionals I'm already working with...

[Anonymous]

Fuck other people. They shouldn't fuck with you. Tough titty. Now forgive yourself and continue healing and find medications that'll work so yo ass dont keep blacking out

[Asker]

That's the only reason I didn't go to jail. Because they started it. They just didn't know who they were fkn with... But I still feel bad cause I know my capabilities and didn't have to do them like that. I'm just worried atm about blacking out at random.. cause I legit have no control over it. I'm a completely different person. It's scary..

[Opinion Owner]

I'd get seen by your doc and talk to them about it. I know when people get drunk they black out so because you're bipolar maybe when you get manic... or super manic like that's when you black out. I think it's called hypo manic. But it's super dangerous and you need to be on meds all the time. Bipolar is unpredictable too.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t going to an ER require them to help you? At least at the moment?

[Asker]

Yes but I cannot afford to not work. I am the only person in my household who works.

[Opinion Owner]

“ and have mental health professionals I'm already working with...”

Reach out to these people.

[Asker]

True. Lost my phone that night too. I can reach out to them when my new one is delivered.. cause I don't know any of their information on hand.

[Opinion Owner]

That is a scary position to be in. I hope everything works out for you soon.