How do I determine who is in my league for dating?

[phantomcolt10]

So, I'm a guy and have read some questions here (just trying to make sense of my own situation) and I'm very well aware of the fact that guys complain about hot girls not liking them because they themselves are not that good-looking. Now, I am aware of the fact that I am not very attractive myself. I'm 6'1 (tall), pretty skinny (slightly athletic), my face is probably relatively unattractive and I want to get a girlfriend. Unlike many guys (who want hot girls regardless of how they look themselves), I just want a girl who is in my league (whatever my league is), but find it so difficult to determine whether or not a girl is in my league. I know personality, values, etc. are equally (if not even more) important , but I'm a guy who believes in equality (being fair) and I can't expect a gorgeous woman to like me If I can't return the same looks from my side. Can someone please help me by specifying some criteria to look out for so that I can decide which girls to go for?

[Anonymous]

Ok, honestly? I have a few points:

a) I tend to go for tall, skinny, nerdy guys -- why? Because they make me feel less award about my height, are not physically intimidating (I got molested once so a guy with huge muscles scares the sh*t out of me), and we can connect about science, philosophy, current events or just talk about something more in depth than -- "How was your day, want to party?"

b) For me I have more of a personality type than a looks type, quirky science nerds -- in fact they've all been engineers, physicists or environmental scientists. (My field is in the last category if you must know)

c) As far as looks go I've dated guys with backney, who wore dad jeans and miscolored tall socks with sandals, was I a fan? Not particularly but I liked the guy MORE. The only deal breaker for me is if the guy is more than an inch or two shorter than me because I was 5'6" by the time I was ten and just got mercilessly teased for being the jolly green giant growing up. My aunt married a guy that was 5 years younger and 5 inches shorter, so I guess I should keep an open mind.

d) Why am I telling you all this? Because people have questioned me every step of the way asking me why I'm going out with so and so, for HALF the guys I've dated, because they think I could do better. Could I really? I'm happy and there's a lot more going on between his two goofy ears than 90% of the guys I know -- and guess what he cares about me as a person, not as some sex object.

e) Bottom line? I would be mad at you if you told me we couldn't date because I'm not in your perceived league because my league has to do minimally with looks, and everything with personality.

Why don't you try selecting based on personality leagues, hmm?

Just my two cents.

[phantomcolt10]

That is a very good answer, but you and I both know that people who will like you for who you are are extremely difficult to come by. I have probably approached about 5 girls in my life and all of them rejected me. I really want a relationship, but I'm really afraid to talk to women, because I think they are only going to hurt me. I need some point to start, and I'm not picky, I am interested in many girls that my friends say they will never even touch, but yet I'm even scared to approach them.

[udolipixie]

Can someone please help me by specifying some criteria to look out for so that I can decide which girls to go for? go to hot or not

Not sure why you think you can't expect a gorgeous woman to like you.

You're a guy leagues don't matter much since women are less visual & more forgiving than men about looks.

Plus as a guy factors other than looks make you attractive- wealth, status, personality.

[phantomcolt10]

Hi! Thanks for your input, but I would like to state 2 points. Firstly, Hot or Not is not very accurate, because most ratings are not for real / sincere (PROOF: I had a pic up there once and it said I'm 9/10, but that is totally false, since I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend). Secondly, I feel that women are just as visual as us because I have female cousins and I heard them emphasizing only physical attributes when stating their opinions about guys as dating material.

[udolipixie]

Ask your cousins for an honest rating then.

[phantomcolt10]

Your answer is rubbish, why? --->

" Yep in my eyes I'm an 8 to most guys I'm a 9 (honestly it was a 10 but I don't believe in 10s so I deduct 1 point). So I'm fair in wanting an 8 because I'd choose a guy who views me as an 8. Far more fair than most guys who are ugly/average but what a more or far more attractive partner."

Sources : YOU

[udolipixie]

lol I'm the exception to the rule.

Me wanting an equally attractive partner to most on here is 'high standards' that's how out of the norm it is for women to have the rules I do.

[phantomcolt10]

Why do you keep on lying? There is no reason for you to lie on here. Nobody can judge you for your answer due to the anonymous factor. Clearly you are not the exeption to the rule, it's already you, my 4 female cousins and most girls I've heard talking about dating that share that same, 'sweet' level of vanity. So please, stop giving people who want real answers crappy ones, rather be honest even If they don't like it.

[udolipixie]

Why do you keep on lying?

^ I'm not according to the masses here I'm a shallow b*tch with ridiculous standards whose world is full of shallow douchebags/spoiled rich brats so obviously to them I'm not the norm.

rather be honest even If they don't like it.

^ I am you will have to work for it but you can get a gorgeous girl. Most guys can they just don't want to put in the effort. Heck most even treat confidence like it's some hard to get trait.

[phantomcolt10]

LOL, personally I don't even think you are honest about yourself. If you were a gorgeous, shallow bitch who gets all the guys you want, you wouldn't have been on this website. I think you are probably someone with no life (who lives on 15 lbs of McDondalds and 10 litres of coke / day), and each day you sit in your automated chair and type bullsh*t answers on this site in order to feed your fantasy. You must be delusional.

[udolipixie]

If you were a gorgeous, shallow bitch

^ I'm not a shallow b*tch that's just what most on here think

you wouldn't have been on this website

^ This site is amusing and I'm an insomniac. Plus gift cards for questions/answers.

[udolipixie]

I am curiouzs as to why people on here think attractive people don't go online.

Though I admit I'm the only one I know who isn't online only for fb.

who lives on 15 lbs of McDondalds and 10 litres of coke / day

^ no just no I find fat disgusting & bad eating habits disgusting

If you're a fattie and feel butthurt that's just my opinion

[phantomcolt10]

Once again a contradiction, this is actually getting fun. You say that you are not shallow, but people just think so? You yourself gave that list of mandatory criteria to that guy's question of your expectations. That list has SHALLOW spraypainted all over it. And just for the record, I may be unattractive, but I'm not fat at all, in fact I can probably follow that McDondalds & Coke diet and would still weigh 157 lbs without gaining even a gram.

[udolipixie]

That list has SHALLOW spraypainted all over it.

^ that list is not shallow. Except height, eye color, and d*ck size I ask only for what I can give.

What's shallow in wanting an equally attractive partner?

in fact I can probably follow that McDondalds & Coke diet and would still weigh 157 lbs without gaining even a gram.

^ still bad eating habits which are disgusting..I can do the American diet without looking American thanks to my genes but I don't

[phantomcolt10]

Shallowness is all about emphasizing physical features, and that is exactly what you did. You are shallow and I don't judge you for that, because all people are shallow, it's in our DNA. Will never change... Rather try to answer my question. I did not ask whether girls go for looks, money or whatever.I asked for tips to determine which girls I should go for as I find it difficult to compare my physical attractiveness to that of a girl's.

[udolipixie]

Ask your cousins which I told you way before the 'your answer is rubbish' lol

[udolipixie]

This whole ugly guy, nice guy world on here just amuses me.

You were a good laugh. bye.

[phantomcolt10]

You and I are not so different, you want someone who looks like you and I want someone who looks like me, but my problem is that I don't know who looks like me. I feel that if I can determine that, it will be easier for me be successful when trying to approach a girl, cause then I will be realistic.

[udolipixie]

Ask the 'meanest' girl you know or a 'b*tch' if you don't want to ask your cousins.

They'll give you an honest evaluation just make sure you can handle it.

Yeah we're different I get called a shallow b*tch for it...only on here it's like another world lol... while you get a pity party of 'oh you can date whoever you want'

[phantomcolt10]

Ok, thanks for all your input. Have a nice day, bye! ^_^

[udolipixie]

bye.

Last tip: rate me questions here are just bs lies to boost self esteem.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't take anything pixie says seriously.

She says men are more visual than women and are more forgiving about looks.

When really, she will only date a guy who she sees as a 8 because she claims she's an 8 (which I highly doubt).

And he must be at least 5'10. Because she is average height, so therefore a guy must be average height.

Not to mention she also will only be with a man whos d*** is 8 inches.

With no acne whatsoever.

Not even one.

Her standards on physical appearance are extremely high.

Now that is all fine and dandy, she can be attractive to whomever she wants.

Oh, and might I add.

All of those things are a must have for her.

So I would take what she says about other women very lightly.

[phantomcolt10]

I know that what she said women not being visual is invalid, but still nobody has given me an answer yet, I aksed, when you see a girl, how do you know if she is more or less on the same physical scale as you? (Even though I have to admit that it would still not neccessarily increase your chances of success, because the girl might see herself as way more attractive than she actually is)

[Opinion Owner]

Right, like pixie here. She clearly thinks she's one of the most attractive women out there. hahah

I would say someone who you are attractive too. In your heart and in your mind, that you feel like based on her physical beauty that she it the kind of person you can see yourself marrying. Not dating but marrying on physical beauty. Then that is when you know she's around your type.

[phantomcolt10]

Thanks, nice answer. Just out of curiosity, how do you know all that stuff about the pixie girl, or were you just stating what most women use as their assessment criteria?

[Opinion Owner]

I asked a question about physical appearance. what you look for in a guy. which is must have and which is optional.

heres the link

link

[phantomcolt10]

LOL, she's such a hippocrate!

[Opinion Owner]

haha I know. did you read the comments as well? lmao

[phantomcolt10]

Yeah, I can't believe people can be so dishonest on here. She should rather try to give me a good answer or should not answer at all (if she can't be honest). This whole website's foundation lies in honest answers. People have no reason to lie, because nobody can judge them if their honest answer is an unpopular answer. She should lose all her experience points.

[Opinion Owner]

hahah you owned her ass! the only reason why she said bye and wanted to end the conversation was because she knew she was wrong 100%

[phantomcolt10]

Yeah, high fives! ... Like a Boss! ... Did you get to read our full little "philosophical" conversation?

It's so funny that she is so totally inconsistent and that she finds it so terribly hard to understand the definition of SHALLOW. I still doubt that she is for real. If she is so "hot", why doesn't she have a profile picture and why is she on here in the first place if she could be sitting on some 8 inch **** all day long?

[Opinion Owner]

I know right. If she was so hot, she would not only have a picture of herself, but a pic saying the time and date the picture was taken with her user name on a piece of paper to prove that her amazingly good looks is not a fake profile picture.

What she does like to do, is nit pick what you say, AND take what you say, out of context by copying and pasting what you wrote, and since its just the small section not the entire thing. Reading it alone gives off a different definition. people these days

[moaterboat]

Screw "leagues". Go after what you want and if it doesn't work out, oh well, keep trying.

[phantomcolt10]

Hey, thanks for stating your opinion, but as I've said I would feel guitly hanging out with a girl who is totally hotter than me. I would rather date a girl on my level of appearance (if there exists such a person), or if I'm the most unattractive person who has ever walked the face of Earth, I would then rather forget about ever being in a relationship and just focus on other stuff. It's just this uncertainty that's killing me.