How do I know what league I am in for dating?

[Anonymous]

I know love knows no boundaries, it has no leagues, however based off first impressions people are selective when choosing potential partners before any bond is formed. I want to know how to figure out what league I should be aiming for. I want to know if I am being too picky or if I just need to get up enough confidence to show my interest in men I consider to be a great catch. These men are people I admire and respect, they are confident, kind, caring people with a strong character and physical strength and disciplined body and personality. I want to be able to look up to my man. But these men in attracted to are very admired and chased by many and quite popular so I don't feel I have a chance.
I myself am hit on by all kinds of men from ones who would be considered a lower 5or 6 to those people would consider an 8 or 9 (personality and looks) Although it is less common for 9s and it is usually 8s and 7s that hit on me. Is there a way to tell? I'm told I'm beautiful and cute and have a good personality and make friends quickly and easily although in kind of distant with attractive and popular guys cause I dont think they will care for me and I dont want to get attached to them...

There is no leagues, just as long as you capture their interest and find common ground it goes from there

The guys who hit on you the most are in your league

Attractive or not you have to show more of yourself for an attractive guy to notice you cuz he gets attention all the time

Other?

[Rail2k]

In a perfect world there's no leagues and people see each other for who they are, but frankly this is impossible in the real world. While this is how it should be once you're actually dating someone, you can't just look at a crowd and instantly "see people for who they are". You can't go and examine every single person and see what kind of person they are deep down and how compatible they are with you, there's just not enough time in your life to do it.

So to solve this problem your brain throws physical/social attractiveness in, where you basically observe some physical/social traits that you can read pretty easily which estimates how acceptable of a partner they are. Now your body is going to naturally want to aim for the most attractive people because frankly that's its best estimate for a good partner for you, but the most attractive people will aim for others who are incredibly attractive as well. All in all these turns out to be a system where people of low attractiveness usually wind up with others of low attractiveness, medium to medium, high to high, and etc. There are of course exceptions, but this is generally how it goes.

The only way to know what "league" you're in is to discover how attractive you generally are to guys, probably from guys, and try to compare that level to guys of that same attractiveness to girls. This is usually attempted with the 1-10 scaling system. This won't be perfect, but it's not bad for a general estimate which is all you can really hope for.

[Rail2k]

I should note that with enough intelligence and education, people will naturally rely less on these biological impulses like attractiveness. This isn't the case with the majority of people though, unfortunately.

[Shyguy_1988]

Leagues don't technically exists. You need someone with common ground and you find attractive obviously but the whole league thing doesn't exist because peoples opinions really varies on attractiveness and what they find attractive. Now if you have a really overweight obese guy that is nice but is looking to date a fit or skinny girl something could be said there, there is no common ground there because obviously the girl takes care of herself and cares about health while the guy does not and let hinself go, its just not a proper match in my opinion, they live different lifestyles and the guy is going purely off attraction and that is not fair to said girl. Vise vera for guys.

[Shyguy_1988]

Thanks for most helpful!

[linds34]

Different guys like different appearances, so you should just go after whatever guy you want. You see people from different "leagues" together all the time anyway, so I don't think it should be as big of a deal as people make it.

[Anonymous]

The highest status (looks + other factors) guys who are interested in dating you, not just hooking up with you, are your 'league' for relationships.

You will of course get approached by guys below that who are hoping as well. And you will get hit on for casual sex by guys who are out of your relationship league.

Given your age, you may have a challenge that if you really are an 8+, a lot of guys in your range simply don't want relationships, period. If you were a 6, guys who were 6's might want to date you. If you're a 20 year old 9, the guys who are 9's might decide to just pump and dump 7's 8's and the odd 9 rather then 'settle down'. (Guys who are 6's tend to think dating a 6 sounds good compared to pump and dumping 4's.)

Finally note that if someone is your type, you rate them higher then most people, and vice versa.

So if you're an 8, and he's an 8, but you're his type, and he's yours, you both feel like you landed a 9 and are all happy about it.

Blah blah about of course leagues not being fully real and anyone might be with anyone which is partly true, but partly things work as i just described.

[Dragonblood21]

You say "I know love has no leagues" but then you seem to go entirely against that the whole rest of the post.

People have their own preferences. The same you may think a certain flavor of ice cream is terrible, someone else loves it. The same way you are not attracted to one guy, another girl may be able to fall in love with that person.

Giving people numbers is just terrible. How would you like to be labeled as a "2"? By numbering people 1-10 you are implying there are 1s and 2s out there, otherwise the whole rating system would be pointless. It also makes no sense, as everyone likes different things.

Lastly, who cares if someone is chased after a lot? That shouldn't effect your personal chance. And if it does, because that person is arrogant enough to turn people down without knowing them at all, then they suck anyway.

[Anonymous]

i vote A, your a girl, your already in the "league" you just need to find the guy YOU want cause its the girl who obviously chooses the guy and is supposed to approach and make ALL the first moves, most guys are rejected/unwanted etc so were not going to make moves or approach a girl, i mean come on girls control sex and love, guys can't do that and plus you seem to only notice the "popular guys" so you seem to be the over picky popular type girl anyways

[FreeLunch]

There are no leagues, only individuals.