How you deal with your BPD?

[Tiptoetamm]

How do you deal with the rage? The dissociation? The fear of abandonment? So recently I was diagnosed with BPD. Which for those who don't know what it is. It's borderline personality disorder. So I thought everyone had this immense fear of abandonment? I guess not. So my whole life I've people pleased through my life because I'm so scared to lose them. I'm working on it. Setting boundaries and sticking with them. The rage to. Damnit I can go from happy to red hot in 1.2 seconds it's fucked up. If something doesn't go my way I flip the fuck out. Lol again I'm working on all this shit. I'm just curious how others deal with it. I want to have more control over my emotional. I don't know where to start ugh. So please be kind people.

[Kaneki05]

Most of my ex's had BPD and I still have no idea to deal with it. Will say Gym does help though I've actually seen that work made one of my ex's way better. I also know it's good for a bpd to have a favorite person who's not their partner.
Though that's tricky if it's ya know an option to date them because impulsive thoughts to be with their favorite person instead. But that's not a good idea, you need that healthy boundary.
Keeping a dairy also helps. Reflecting helps a lot.

[Tiptoetamm]

Exactly my favorite person is my man and damnit I'm depleting him and I know it. I'm a lot to handle. So yeah that true I will try that

[msc545]

There are really no good meds for this disorder and very few good therapies. The one therapy that seems to be a little bit promising is called dialectical behavior therapy or DBT. I think you should find a therapist that is certified in this method and see if it's helpful for you.

I'm not necessarily endorsing this as an effective method of therapy, but apparently people who have borderline personality disorder are known to benefit from it to some extent.

[Tiptoetamm]

Yeah that's what I've been reading. Thank you so much

[msc545]

Sure. Good luck.

[msc545]

Thanks for MHO

[Tiptoetamm]

No thank you for your advice seriously

[msc545]

If it's helpful to you, I'm very glad that I was able to be of service.

[Still-alive]

Well there's the usual: seek a therapist and take any meds they prescribe for you.

but some things i think may work aside from that are: write things down. Try to get to the root cause of why you’re feeling angry or afraid or whatever. We humans tend to remember things differently from what really truly happened, or it may have happened but it wasn’t as bad as we make them out to be in our minds. For instance if you failed one class one might think: “well i guess im a failure now, i can't do anything right!’ When really it was just one class and they can easily make up for it later. So basically write down and get to the root cause of your feelings then try to really examine it more. Was it really as bad as you think?

other things to nail down are to make sure you are getting adequate sleep. If you aren't it can negatively impact your emotional wellbeing, increase depression or in your case make your bpd even worse. So make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

try to be more active throughout your days. Go out walking or jogging, work out etc. get those endorphins flaring up and feel good.

eating healthier likely helps to. Drink more water, try not to eat fast food too much, eat more fruits and veggies etc.

yeah i think these should be helpful for you.

[Tiptoetamm]

Thank you so much. I so so so needed to hear this!!!

[Still-alive]

You’re welcome. I've gone through much myself so I understand

[Tiptoetamm]

I feel so defeated for some reason. I thought getting diagnosed would give me some relief but actually I feel more dread it's fucked up

[Still-alive]

Well at the very least you know something isn’t right and now you just gotta think of a plan to navigate through it. And when you figure that out i bet you’d feel better. Like being more disciplined about things to mitigate those bad feelings you get from time to time. Like you said in your original post that you set strict boundaries for yourself. Thats a good start.

And another thing about that is if you do mess up and breech your boundaries try to not beat yourself up over it. Its ok. Just try to do better next time. The less you stay feeling guilty or despair over things the more you can get to being productive. That should be your goal. Being productive. Hope this makes sense.

[Tiptoetamm]

Yeah I have to get ride of all those limiting beliefs. Being raised by a covert narcissist gives you some baggage I have a lot to work through. Therapist first step. I'm gonna take this shit one step at a time for now anyway

[FunkyMonkee]

I still have no idea what BPD is. What does a personality disorder have to do with feeling abandoned?
I've been alone most of my life and am now COMPLETELY alone! When my aunt died 4 years ago, part of the reason I cried so much was because I knew that I was going to be COMPLETELY alone from then on! so far, except for maybe a total of 2 days, I HAVE been completely alone, since then and it doesn't look like that'll ever change!
How I deal is music and movies/t. v. shows.

[Tiptoetamm]

It's hard to explain I don't know it's just a part of me

[kellytheman]

Well I don’t have bpd and also I don’t get really mad or anything. I don’t take anything personal. I am passive aggressive though.

[Tiptoetamm]

Yeah I hear you. I wish I could keep my anger under control. It's just hard. On my bad days. I feel bad for the other person because I can be very harsh. My words are like bullets. I know what will pass people off and I use it. It's so fucked up. I try to bite my tongue. Until I just giving lose it

[Tiptoetamm]

Fuckin

[Billlewis]

I know that would be a problem for most guys, but I think it's fantastic... lol

[Billlewis]

Do you think a physical outlet, like riding a bike or some other type of endorphin producing activity might help? Also, I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[Tiptoetamm]

YESSSSS I've been working out going for walks and it has been helping my head. I'm also getting a pinching bag to release my rage in a healthy way. I fucking snap all the time and it's always over the little shit so the exercise is definitely helping that

[Tiptoetamm]

Punching lol

[Billlewis]

Oh my goodness... that's incredibly exciting 🤗

[Tiptoetamm]

I guess it's more frustrated for me. I have so much pent up rage I have no idea what to do with. I've been in so many fights even as an adult and every time I get physical with someone I regret it. I don't know how to stop when I get there. I always take it way to far. I don't know. It can look cute and all but it's the opposite

[Billlewis]

I can see how that could be a challenge to deal with.

[Tiptoetamm]

Yup ugh 😫😫😫

[Billlewis]

I'd love to chat with you about this for a few minutes, if you have time.

[Tiptoetamm]

I have some time now

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, thank you very much. You'll need to start following me -- but only in the context of this site, of course -- to facilitate my being able to message you. I appreciate your graciousness, in allowing me to chat with you.

[Tiptoetamm]

Done lol

[Billlewis]

Thank you so much, ma'am.

[superchan2011]

Well I've heard that DBT therapy can be helpful to someone with BPD so I would say definitely give that a shot.

[Jmmmfi4]

I ALSO HAVE BPD... I GO TO THE GYM AND WRITE A LOT

[Tiptoetamm]

Thanks 👍

[clampfan101]

I tend to bottle my feelings up, but I know that’s a bad idea and am trying to quit.