Stuck in limbo and can't seem to navigate out.

[Anonymous]

Ok so there is a receptionist at the gym I work at, who is has been working there for about two months now. She is pretty cute and I have said hi, bye and try to crack a couple jokes (which were drier then the Sahara Desert). She just gave me a passing smile and said hi. Here is the thing she is getting attention from a bunch of good looking guys. In my head whenever I see her is man what is there that I can do to make her notice me. Even when I do try and lift weights I don't see any changes in my physique. So I pretty much settled to playing basketball to try and lose weight. Even though I have been there for a year, I still have no idea of what exercises to do and how to build muscle. Anyway back to the girl in this. She has noo idea I like her, my thing is what can I say to make her think hey this guy is boyfriend material. I would date him if he asked vs all the buff guys who have more experience then I do (I have close to zero experience, gotten a few dates but ended up empty handed with all of them. Meaning no relationship, no pum pum). This is the story of my life, 99% of the time I will see a pretty girl(s) and won't approach them because I have nothing to say except for "Hey how are you I think your cute, would you like to hang out?" From there it is just okkayy why are you here?. My flirting skills are abysmal. It is to the point where I think that a certain appendage is ready to jump ship! Well I need advice on overcoming this horrible slump.

Updates

+1 y

P.S. I thought of doing online picture, but the thought of being seen on an online dating site is a little embarrassing.

[MrOracle]

You've already blown your best chance. Let me explain.

She works in a customer-facing, customer-service job. In a gym full of men. I promise you, she gets hit on all day long, every single day, and unless you have a combination of movie-star looks, an athlete's body, and the charisma of a rock star, she's probably not going to give you the time of day, simply because you are a CUSTOMER, and she has to deal with you at work. Many (good) gyms will have a strict policy against employees dating customers, because it's BAD for business, and she might well be risking her job if she did. So not only are you fighting against the normal odds of meeting someone and having them like you back, you are also fighting the company/customer barrier.

Second, in such situations, your BEST chance to get a girl when the odds are so stacked against your favor is to strike IMMEDIATELY. What I mean is: you have to ask her out within 2 minutes of the very first time you talk to her about ANYTHING outside of normal gym customer-service business. That little joke you told her? That started the clock running. If you don't have the confidence to ask her out that first time you talked to her, then, due to the situation, it's probably too late.

There is a tiny, tiny chance that if you just treat her like a friendly acquaintance for a while, but never, ever hit on her, she might get curious, and then interested, in why you *haven't* hit on her like everyone else does, but in order for that to work, she has to NOTICE that you are friendly-but-not-overtly-interested, and given her job and all the guys hitting on her, and the likelihood that she intentionally tries not to notice any guy outside of her work duties, that's a long-shot. Plus, you already made some weak passes at her with the jokes, so she knows you are interested already.

If you met this same girl OUTSIDE of her work environment, you'd have had a much better shot, but that work barrier is tough. Again, in those situations, your next best chance is to ask her out within the first two minutes of actually meeting her, and you have to be strong and confident and focused when you ask her, and you have to have the attitude that you don't CARE if she says "no", and that, really, you are almost doing her a favor by letting her hang out with you. You don't want to be a d!ck or anything, but you need to be VERY direct and confident, but in a smooth and relaxed way, like you are used to getting your way with everything, and don't even notice it anymore.

Bottom line: you can try one more direct, confident approach, but expect her to decline, and you need to shrug and say "Hey, your loss. Have a nice day." and never look back if that happens. Remember, the world is full of other girls, so don't get hung up on any specific one at this stage in the game.

[heyitsdan]

dis

[Anonymous]

You should try to take them out to dates. That's how you can overcome your horrible slump.

[Anonymous]

you have to do it even if you don't feel like doing it

it only gets better once you make the choice to go for it

[Anonymous]

Just ask her out, you will regret not doing it!

[Anonymous]

Ask her out! Man up!