Relationship for 2 years....no gifts/surprises for a year...why?

[eldouglas23]

Let me start out by saying my fiancé is a great guy. I am just puzzled as to what's going on. He used to buy me small gifts (flowers...etc) randomly quite often. Now, I haven't gotten anything in over a year and I am not sure why. I buy him small gifts and I don't hint at the idea of him getting me a surprise or anything. Its not that I really want anything...I guess its just the thought that counts...At least that's what I am looking for haha. what's more is I am the same size(weight) as I was when we first started dating 2 years ago...But now he wants me to lose weight. I weigh 250 at 5'9". My idea weight is about 170...so yeah I could lose some weight and I am working on it...I have already lost 15 pounds. He isn't as affectionate as he used to be and just recently he told me he wasn't happy because money is tight and we don't have funds to go splurge right now. We are both college students and we have a kid together so I am not sure what to do. Sometimes I feel lost in this relationship. I talked to him about this two weeks ago and he went back to his "old" self...but a couple days ago he started being distant again...any pointers from anyone is highly appreciated. How the hell do I bring the happiness back that we used to have?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it has anything to do with your weight. You two have been together for 2 years, you two are engaged so he must love you in order to be with you. I would say that its more likely that he is just simply stressed out because money is tight. He's not buying you surprises because he's thinking "I've got a child and a wedding to pay for". Plus all the daily expenses that come up. Plus you two are in school! That's a lot on someone's plate.

The only thing I can advise is that you go talk to him about how you are feeling. Let him know that surprises don't have to be monetary. He can have a surprise home-cooked dinner ready for you some day. Or he could even plan a cheap date. Something free, even better!

There are lots of things out there to do if you are tight on cash but still want to have fun. Check out a local park, or trail. A walk together or a picnic in the park is free but still romantic.

When a guy is stressed, it makes it hard for him to show affection and shower his girl with the love that he used to. But let him know that this is an issue. Try to work on a plan to make things better. Maybe there are ways you two could cut costs, or make some extra money to help ease the financial stress.

IMO it's the finances that have got him worried. He is marrying you so I don't think that not loving you anymore is the issue. I think he loves you a lot! He's just stressed out about the financial situation.

[Anonymous]

His male instincts to provide for his family is kicking in so he is acting out on it. Nothing messes with a man more than being broke and he has to provide. Just keep communicating with him. Do not nag him but be subtle. Let him know that you still want his love and affection and he doesn't have to spend a dime to do it.