Soap in pee hole (urethra): What is the QUICKEST way to stop the pain?

Has anyone ever gotten soap up INTO their urethra (pee hole) while they were showering? It is the most painful experience ever, especially if you use a body wash-gel or some other fluidy soap. I like to keep my equipment refreshingly fragrant and spiffy clean for my girlfriend(s) by showering as often and as thoroughly as possible, and by using a delightfully fragrant, albeit somewhat harsh but rejuvenating blend of "Axe" body wash gels. Unfortunately and inevitably, I will accidentally and momentarily point my giggle-stick the wrong way (upwards) as I'm lathering up. This allows the soap the brief opportunity it needs to seep down into my third-eye so to speak -- and then KA-BLAM-O! -- it feels like someone is shoving a lit and jagged matchstick up into my baby-maker! The only thing I can do at that point is wince in pain as I kneel in front of the water spigot, carefully poising my general and two colonels directly under a jet-ski-like stream of gushing water -- for at least 19 minutes. This never seems to stop the pain, so much as it seems to just kill time and give me something to do as I count the stars in my head. I've heard that dipping your dipstick into a cup of cold milk as soon as the soap-intrusion occurs, will help sooth the pain. But I can never muster up enough resolve and strength to waltz into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of cold milk, much less plunge my jumblies into it. And keeping a bottle of cold milk by the shower would just be impractical as I would have to jerry-rig some sort of refrigeration device to keep the milk palatable. Does anyone have any advice on how to sooth the pain in the QUICKEST way possible (other than peeing out the soap residue -- which actually initiates another type of pain beyond words)? Do carbonated beverages have more potent soothing properties? How about a saline-type beverage like Gatorade or perhaps an anti-oxidant enriched green tea? Would a warm solution be better at rinsing, or would a cold one be more soothing? I'm guessing girls don't have this problem that often (since they're always pointing down-ish), but I can't help but think that occasionally it must happen to some girls too? Any tips or advice from anyone would be MUCH appreciated!
I know what this is like and it ain't fun.
I've never had this happen before.
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Soap in pee hole (urethra): What is the QUICKEST way to stop the pain?
16 Opinion