Holidays

Is It selfish that I didn’t want do anything for Thanksgiving?

Ever since my parents got divorce when I was 18 , holidays haven’t been the same. If I had a chose I would skip every family holiday because is just so depressing to me. I have a younger brother that’s now 18 and I’m 27. My parents divorce in bad terms and we stayed with my dad. My brother had a good relationship with my dad and I had a good relationship with my mom but things changed when we stopped living together. I started to get distance with her. My problem is that I rarely like to talk about how I feel and I start getting distance with people. Years went on and unfortunately my dad lost his job and he stopped having money and he got evicted and my mom got custody of my brother but I had to move out alone. My mom told me she still had the room rented when she divorce my dad so I took it and still live here alone with other people that rent rooms in a big apartment. It’s usually depressing because I’m alone here. What hurts me the most is that my dad seems like he has a mental issue going on bc he just stopped working , started saying how he was going to find a “ rich female “ and he stopped paying bills that eventually got evicted and now is homeless. Now every holiday I don’t do nothing and I know it might hurt my mom and brother but I rather not spend time with them and fake being good. Or what should I do? Fake it.
im sorry this post was all over the place.

Is It selfish that I didn’t want do anything for Thanksgiving?
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