My ex wants to home school our eldest daughter. She's 13. She's currently in mainstream education. She has said she wants to be home schooled but when asked why she just says I don't know. She says she isn't being bullied and her grades are good. She is very introverted and doesn't make friends out of choice. We had to move back home to the other end of the country (uk) in 2019 due to my ex single handily losing our house and all our money due to gambling. So our 2 children had to relocate home and school and see their parents split up and then lockdown came.
My ex lives with his new partner and his mum and dad. He has just got a full time job but he says his parents will do the home schooling as they're retired. I'm not comfortable with it as I don't trust him and I think its a big risk and she needs to be In a social environment to help her prepare for adult hood. I am meeting him tomorrow to talk about it but I'm very anxious. He has told me that if I Try to stop him, my daughter will end up hating me. He's also said, she should live with him as it will be easier. He's very manipulative and controlling. I just know he'll get his own way.
Any advice is appreciated
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Opinion
1Opinion
Don't meet him.
It sounds like he is telling her she wants to be homeschooled and she feels pressured to agree as he is essentially, abusing her too.
Does she like her dad? At 13 she is free to say no to visiting him if she wishes. Make that clear to her. That she doesn't have to go.
He will likely kick off if she stops, probably blaming you. But, who cares. Your loyalty should ve to your daughter and protecting her from his abuse. Make sure she knows he doesn't get to control her school choices and you'll fight for what she wants.
Tell the school you are not withdrawing her. That her father is manipulative and wants to take her out of education to spite you.
Fight for your kid and her future.
Also look up the "grey rock" technique for dealing with narcissists like him.
she's introverted. nothing will change her personality. that's how she is. no amount of public school or home school. i am an introvert. i went to public school. and i'm still an introvert. public school actually harmed my mental health more than anything. i don't see the big deal about home schooling. if she doesn't even socialize in public school, it won't make a difference.
I agree that she's an introvert. However I believe that home schooling her will damage her more than being in school.
it likely won't. i was so damaged in public school.
Just tell the truth about him and other people who will, too.