I wished my coworker a merry Christmas and she said “thanks have a good day”?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t expect such a dry answer.
we are friends at work
So it’s very confusing why she’s being this distant.

She has a boyfriend so I’m wondering if he’s threatened by my closeness to her

I just don’t know how to take this
Good thing I won’t see her until Jan 5th maybe the awkwardness will have faded a little

I don’t wanna lose my friendship with her and I don’t know if it’s better to address this or to pretend I didn’t notice

[Anonymous]

Maybe she was in a rush? I think you are seeing the real her... and how she feels about you. Just a friend

[Asker]

I wish it’s just that

Because even to my friends I would have said “thanks, Merry Christmas to you and yours as well”

The message is too dry even for friends

[Opinion Owner]

So what do you think is happening? she's dry... she's got a boyfriend. Maybe she was around him at the time? I think you should let her go... she has a boyfriend and most likely won't leave him for you

[Asker]

You see I never said I wanted her to
And yet you came to that conclusion almost immediately

And I’m worried she came to a similar conclusion.

Truthfully, I do like her. But I didn’t make any moves on her whatsoever I just enjoy our time working together

But if she’s caught onto my underlying feelings I’m worried things might get awkward

Hence why I’m not sure if distancing myself would make it more awkward or is it better to do nothing and pretend to be oblivious

[Opinion Owner]

I think you should ask her if you made her uncomfortable.. I think its time to open up. She may sense you like her. I think it'll be easier if you eventually told her you like her so she can either reject you or accept you.
That way you can move on and or move forward... being friends with someone you like and can't have is toture

[Asker]

I’m already being tortured trust me

And I know how this game is played.
I’ve been with women, been rejected, rejected some myself.
It’s not new

Just this once I felt different.
Talking with her was so natural and easy
And we have undeniable chemistry
She’s not innocent in this, she’s pushed me towards all kinds of intimate discussions in the past

And I think she feels she’s lead me on and wants to correct course

I need her to know it’s ok. That we can be friendly coworkers without drama
(Because it’s important for the work itself as well)

Meanwhile I will be trying to date and meet new people
Chances are I will wipe her from my mind when I’m focused on someone else

I know it sounds selfish to say that but let’s face it we all do it.
dating is never a perfect straight line

The feelings will fade and we won’t have hurt anyone which is not what I want

[Opinion Owner]

Thats kind of her loss then isn't it. I mean you gotta do what you gotta do. I don't know what you want from her.

[Asker]

That’s sweet of you to say.

I don’t think she’s losing much.

And all I want from her is coffee and a conversation. Maybe the occasional lunch break
We’re both new at the company and it’s hard enough as it is to meet people for the both of us.

Who knows maybe in two weeks when all this is behind us I’ll be able to have a candid conversation without sounding needy or emotional

[Opinion Owner]

Yea you seem very attatcher... already. it might be good for you to make a clean break from her. But again I dont think you'll move on unless you tell her how you feel. Because her having sexual conversations with you is crossing lines and boundaries

[Asker]

Yeah you’re probably right.
As someone who rarely gets attached to people that’s what I get for making an exception haha

And the sex talk was not just sex talk.
We opened up to one another.
I told her things most of my exes don’t even know

I guess I was deluding myself into thinking she might chose me over boyfriend
He’s fairly new in her life as well so I thought maybe I can be seen as the “better option”
But that’s impossible
She doesn’t wanna date anyone from work
And he’s a lot richer and a little older so there’s that.

In any case thank you for this talk.
It gave me clarity that I’ve been choosing ignoring, and I shouldn’t

[Opinion Owner]

No problem good luck

[queenofcardio]

She probably doesn't celebrate