When I Finally Realized I Am Attractive

[Anonymous]

I genuinely had the self esteem of an onion and thought I looked like an eggplant lol.

Not exactly attractive because what is 'attractive' that could be subjective , no?

But just not as ugly as I thought I was.

I grew up thinking I was alright, I'd get hit on online and offline people would stare

(However there was a point where I felt so ugly I would make myself even uglier , so people would stop looking at me and so that I would get negative confirmation and I thought it would be like 'oh they're staring because I'm ugly , no need to worry about the reason!')

People always stare and comment.

People still stare at me as I walk down the street. I don't know if it's just them being annoying or if they're genuinely interested.

I try not to let that factor in to how I realized I wasn't ugly, i just had a shit personality and a distorted image of how the world sees me.

Obviously my uhm retarded tactics didn't work. I starved myself , I made myself look like a man by dressing weird and putting my hair up , I tried my hardest to just hate my body and face and make myself as unapprochable as possible and I tried my best to make others not look at me.

Then I looked at celebrities, I even spoke to some . I delved into their lives and wanted to see how they lived their lives, holy fuck was I in for a surprise.

The amount of drugs, surgeries and crazy shit some people go through.

Even your average-ish girl , say like me , can be fit and take care of herself and she could be very attractive and even considered 7+/10 to many, many people.

Even the naturally pretty celebrities , they still had access to things that made them even more attractive.

I should've not compared myself to them , because it's not like we are in the same league or social circles now.

I wanted to be validated by men, to be validated by society. Now I see the fault in how I was living my life. It wasn't even my life anymore, it was me trying to please others to make their lives better by fitting their standards.

I just realized that i was comparing myself to the wrong crowd. To the wrong standards.

Lots of people made me feel like COMPLETE SHIT about myself , to the point where I was very suicidal.

Others would tell me these people are jealous, and that I'm very attractive.

I didn't want to believe that. I wanted to believe that something was wrong with me, not everyone else who hated on me and said nasty comments about my personality or looks.

Someone did apologize , admitting to me she thinks I'm attractive and she just messed up by hating on me and was rude for no reason.

People do put in an effort to speak to me , even though I look unapproachable most of the time. I do get free things at times. I do get people staring at me 24/7.

Still if you asked me to rate myself , I'm highly critical of myself and I'd tell you I'm slightly below average but I'm a 5/10 in terms of looks.

In the end I just said fuck it and decided, I'm going to set my own standards of beauty. Which is : be healthy, be fit , be happy , be a go getter and achieve all my life goals and dreams. No one else's opinion matters about my looks , why should it matter?

And so far I'm doing okay. I'm trying. I'm living. I'm battling depression.

But the best part is I no longer obsess over every little thing about my looks as I used to. Some days I'd hate getting out the house because I didn't want any human being to look at me.

[Elaurious]

When I found out I was hot I started rubbing it in everybody's faces, they treated me like garbage before because they thought I knew all along, serve them right.

[Uncut]

Oh and what age was this at

[Lliam]

Believe me, if you're symmetrical, fit and female, you're attractive. That's about all it takes, aside from not sabotaging yourself with bad grooming, clothing and attitude.

You are absolutely right not to compare yourself to celebrities. Many of them are plastic and, besides, the camera can make anyone look good.

Also, don't fall into the trap of obsessing about your looks. Women tend to do that. One girl on GAG recently asked if guys would think the tiny mole near her vulva was grotesque. I'm serious. Too many girls ask if they are too short or if their breasts are too small.
Stop it!

In my experience, most guys much prefer the girl next door over the celebrity look.

[Sixgunsound]

Most guys in real life absolutely prefer the real girl over the high maintenance plastic fantastic barbie type

[Ceciliebon]

I have your exact same thoughts - maybe a bit different. It is like you know deep inside of you that you aren't ugly, but the beauty standard, your insecurities takes over and leave you alone with the feeling of being average and ugly-looking.
I think it is very hard to realize you are attractive. You can be confident and think you are attractive if you have a nice day or get a compliment etc. But most of the time you are just filled with insecurities thinking that you are not attractive.
A lot of the times I still have to persuade myself into thinking I don't look like trash - because I don't.
You are pretty - I would say an easy 8.
You are definitey not a 5 and I feel like you easily could become a 9 just by being confident

[AlexanderBrunnrgaard]

Good for you!
I pretty much grew up thinking I was very attractive, I was doted on by my mother who is the, "one's firstborn is a sacred thing" type, I was cherished by my older sister, treated best by teachers, girls and spoiled by my girlfriend. So I was somewhat of an arrogant prick in my early years, but now I've mellowed down and focused on having a good personality.

But I too had a celebrity worship period where I wanted to look more like them, a very dangerous and unhealthy state of mind.

[Anonymous]

I went through HS and College before I caught a glimpse of what people were talking about when they'd call me attractive. I just didn't see it or believe it...

Now, 10-15 years later I'll look at an old picture and see what they meant.

Sadly, by the time I'm becoming "datable" (Just got my 4 year degree,, getting a career going, not living with parents...) I find myself 50-60 pounds heavier and just not what I'd call attractive.

Makes sense right?

[LittleLily]

Hindsight's a bitch

[IslaTheWitch]

I genuinely had the self esteem of an onion and thought I looked like an eggplant lol.

Thanks for that. It's how I see myself.

I don't starve myself or hide. I poison my own and others' lives looking for confirmation that someone can see me as OK... or nice... or maybe pretty... or even attractive.

Probably time to move on...

[LittleLily]

I think most people go through it at some stage, probably high school era. I think I'm attractive, but I didn't in high school. And although I find myself more attractive now because of years in the gym etc, I still think I look cute in old high school photos. But high school is such a stressful, awkward and strange time that I think the last thing on anyone's mind is that they might actually look half decent today.

[Lola1771]

This is gonna sound weird, but i relate to literally 100% of what you just said. I did everything you did (still am doing and more) and for the same reasons. Can we be friends please? Im not even joking I've never realised there was someone i could relate to so much. Message me if you interested because i would love to have a friend like you!

[Browneye57]

The vast majority of depression is self induced. Consider professional counseling. They're good at helping sort fantasy from reality.

You're on the right track though - just do what you do for YOU. And quit the celebrity worship and comparo shtick.

[Anonymous]

i know exactly what you mean some times i have to wear a mask when i walk on street because if girls see how sexy i am they'll jump me and rip my clothes off in public. i even maced a few women once cause they were trying to take advantage of me which led to me being arrested. it was so unfair no one believed those women were going to rape me. later when i was in jail i found out it wasn't just women who were hot for me.

[Ghost285]

I don't think I am. When I talk to a girl she looks nervous and so shy

[myTake Owner]

Maybe it's the type of women you speak to.

[Supermosh1990]

It’s always great to be your self and be proud of your appearance. There are a lot of girls that can learn from this and get rid of there beauty standards (which are very subjective). They need to be happy for who they are not who they are not.

[Anonymous]

Finding something attractive is not same as being attracted to them

[myTake Owner]

I agree.

[Opinion Owner]

Same as finding something disgusting/repulsive is not same as being repulsed bu it. You can find rotten flesh extremely disgusting but you are not disgusted by it.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah that depends on the thing I guess.
That's why I say that beauty is subjective. It all depends on the person.
Sure there are people lots of people would agree are attractive , but not necessarily be attracted to. Same with finding someone unattractive , a person could objectively be unattractive but to someone else still they will be attracted to them.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes!!! that's why you are aroused by nude women but you are straight.

[myTake Owner]

Lol didn't see that one coming. Good one.
Are you one of those men who think all women are bisexual?

[Opinion Owner]

Not all women are 1000% straight but they are sexually aroused by female body, aroused by lesbian porn and have sex with women.

They are 1000% straight.

[strateguy632]

it depends what caused that, did people say harsh comments? they were probably lying due to jealousy, that is what we should think.

[katkittie55]

I never thought I was attractive until around 17 years old.

[nuttyjn]

Ur sexy

[syncheart]

If your attractive just take with stride, don't worry when your old you probably wish some of this attention to come back.

[SketchForger]

That's a good way to look at it. Staying humble, while also being able to acknowledge others might find you attractive.

[FunkyMonkee]

If that's you in the picture, why would you NOT feel attractive?

[chapstickhoarder]

Some good advice for people struggling with their self image is, don't compare yourself to other people. Just because someone else is beautiful doesn't mean you aren't.

[Lman3000]

Yeah never felt before even while in a relationship, I have a lot of problems inside me

[COMMODOREII]

Sorry i should have kept the whisteling down, didn't mean to embarrass you.😜😎