When I Finally Realized I Am Attractive

When I Finally Realized I Am Attractive

I genuinely had the self esteem of an onion and thought I looked like an eggplant lol.

Not exactly attractive because what is 'attractive' that could be subjective , no?

But just not as ugly as I thought I was.

I grew up thinking I was alright, I'd get hit on online and offline people would stare

(However there was a point where I felt so ugly I would make myself even uglier , so people would stop looking at me and so that I would get negative confirmation and I thought it would be like 'oh they're staring because I'm ugly , no need to worry about the reason!')

People always stare and comment.

People still stare at me as I walk down the street. I don't know if it's just them being annoying or if they're genuinely interested.

I try not to let that factor in to how I realized I wasn't ugly, i just had a shit personality and a distorted image of how the world sees me.

Obviously my uhm retarded tactics didn't work. I starved myself , I made myself look like a man by dressing weird and putting my hair up , I tried my hardest to just hate my body and face and make myself as unapprochable as possible and I tried my best to make others not look at me.

Then I looked at celebrities, I even spoke to some . I delved into their lives and wanted to see how they lived their lives, holy fuck was I in for a surprise.

The amount of drugs, surgeries and crazy shit some people go through.

Even your average-ish girl , say like me , can be fit and take care of herself and she could be very attractive and even considered 7+/10 to many, many people.

Even the naturally pretty celebrities , they still had access to things that made them even more attractive.

I should've not compared myself to them , because it's not like we are in the same league or social circles now.

I wanted to be validated by men, to be validated by society. Now I see the fault in how I was living my life. It wasn't even my life anymore, it was me trying to please others to make their lives better by fitting their standards.

I just realized that i was comparing myself to the wrong crowd. To the wrong standards.

Lots of people made me feel like COMPLETE SHIT about myself , to the point where I was very suicidal.

Others would tell me these people are jealous, and that I'm very attractive.

I didn't want to believe that. I wanted to believe that something was wrong with me, not everyone else who hated on me and said nasty comments about my personality or looks.

Someone did apologize , admitting to me she thinks I'm attractive and she just messed up by hating on me and was rude for no reason.

People do put in an effort to speak to me , even though I look unapproachable most of the time. I do get free things at times. I do get people staring at me 24/7.

Still if you asked me to rate myself , I'm highly critical of myself and I'd tell you I'm slightly below average but I'm a 5/10 in terms of looks.

In the end I just said fuck it and decided, I'm going to set my own standards of beauty. Which is : be healthy, be fit , be happy , be a go getter and achieve all my life goals and dreams. No one else's opinion matters about my looks , why should it matter?

And so far I'm doing okay. I'm trying. I'm living. I'm battling depression.

But the best part is I no longer obsess over every little thing about my looks as I used to. Some days I'd hate getting out the house because I didn't want any human being to look at me.

When I Finally Realized I Am Attractive
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9Girl Opinion
20Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • shyapples2
    Attractiveness is subjective and I don’t want the validation of random celebs but it’s great that you feel good about yourself. Personally I’m trying to live up to my own standards for my self
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I dont know why you were downvoted. I agree with you completely.

    • shyapples2

      Thanks! My goal is to be physically attractive to girls and find the one special girl

    • MoneyBeets

      yeah i don't care for anyone's validation besides my own. Good answer!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Elaurious
    When I found out I was hot I started rubbing it in everybody's faces, they treated me like garbage before because they thought I knew all along, serve them right.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Uncut

      Oh and what age was this at

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • LittleLily
    I think most people go through it at some stage, probably high school era. I think I'm attractive, but I didn't in high school. And although I find myself more attractive now because of years in the gym etc, I still think I look cute in old high school photos. But high school is such a stressful, awkward and strange time that I think the last thing on anyone's mind is that they might actually look half decent today.
  • Lola1771
    This is gonna sound weird, but i relate to literally 100% of what you just said. I did everything you did (still am doing and more) and for the same reasons. Can we be friends please? Im not even joking I've never realised there was someone i could relate to so much. Message me if you interested because i would love to have a friend like you!
  • Browneye57
    The vast majority of depression is self induced. Consider professional counseling. They're good at helping sort fantasy from reality.

    You're on the right track though - just do what you do for YOU. And quit the celebrity worship and comparo shtick.
  • Supermosh1990
    It’s always great to be your self and be proud of your appearance. There are a lot of girls that can learn from this and get rid of there beauty standards (which are very subjective). They need to be happy for who they are not who they are not.
  • Ghost285
    I don't think I am. When I talk to a girl she looks nervous and so shy
    • Anonymous

      Maybe it's the type of women you speak to.

  • Lliam
    Believe me, if you're symmetrical, fit and female, you're attractive. That's about all it takes, aside from not sabotaging yourself with bad grooming, clothing and attitude.

    You are absolutely right not to compare yourself to celebrities. Many of them are plastic and, besides, the camera can make anyone look good.

    Also, don't fall into the trap of obsessing about your looks. Women tend to do that. One girl on GAG recently asked if guys would think the tiny mole near her vulva was grotesque. I'm serious. Too many girls ask if they are too short or if their breasts are too small.
    Stop it!

    In my experience, most guys much prefer the girl next door over the celebrity look.
  • katkittie55
    I never thought I was attractive until around 17 years old.
  • SketchForger
    That's a good way to look at it. Staying humble, while also being able to acknowledge others might find you attractive.
  • Ceciliebon
    I have your exact same thoughts - maybe a bit different. It is like you know deep inside of you that you aren't ugly, but the beauty standard, your insecurities takes over and leave you alone with the feeling of being average and ugly-looking.
    I think it is very hard to realize you are attractive. You can be confident and think you are attractive if you have a nice day or get a compliment etc. But most of the time you are just filled with insecurities thinking that you are not attractive.
    A lot of the times I still have to persuade myself into thinking I don't look like trash - because I don't.
    You are pretty - I would say an easy 8.
    You are definitey not a 5 and I feel like you easily could become a 9 just by being confident
  • chapstickhoarder
    Some good advice for people struggling with their self image is, don't compare yourself to other people. Just because someone else is beautiful doesn't mean you aren't.
  • Good for you!
    I pretty much grew up thinking I was very attractive, I was doted on by my mother who is the, "one's firstborn is a sacred thing" type, I was cherished by my older sister, treated best by teachers, girls and spoiled by my girlfriend. So I was somewhat of an arrogant prick in my early years, but now I've mellowed down and focused on having a good personality.

    But I too had a celebrity worship period where I wanted to look more like them, a very dangerous and unhealthy state of mind.
  • FunkyMonkee
    If that's you in the picture, why would you NOT feel attractive?
  • Lman3000
    Yeah never felt before even while in a relationship, I have a lot of problems inside me
    Sorry i should have kept the whisteling down, didn't mean to embarrass you.😜😎
  • KaDooKan
    when you focus on yourself, everything else slowly fades away
  • Eleni91
    I think it’s important to believe in yourself before loving others.
  • Secretgardenblood
    Good take
  • MannySimms
    Attitude is far more important than looks.
  • soe11
    Indeed your attractive
  • 藏222224
    very cool
  • Everyone is attractive in their own way.
  • liquidsolid
  • Butchiew56
    Honey, you look fabulous!😘😍
  • Anonymous
    i know exactly what you mean some times i have to wear a mask when i walk on street because if girls see how sexy i am they'll jump me and rip my clothes off in public. i even maced a few women once cause they were trying to take advantage of me which led to me being arrested. it was so unfair no one believed those women were going to rape me. later when i was in jail i found out it wasn't just women who were hot for me.
  • Anonymous
    I went through HS and College before I caught a glimpse of what people were talking about when they'd call me attractive. I just didn't see it or believe it...

    Now, 10-15 years later I'll look at an old picture and see what they meant.

    Sadly, by the time I'm becoming "datable" (Just got my 4 year degree,, getting a career going, not living with parents...) I find myself 50-60 pounds heavier and just not what I'd call attractive.

    Makes sense right?When I Finally Realized I Am AttractiveWhen I Finally Realized I Am Attractive
  • Anonymous
    No one cares
  • Anonymous
    Finding something attractive is not same as being attracted to them
    • Anonymous

      I agree.

    • Anonymous

      Same as finding something disgusting/repulsive is not same as being repulsed bu it. You can find rotten flesh extremely disgusting but you are not disgusted by it.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah that depends on the thing I guess.
      That's why I say that beauty is subjective. It all depends on the person.
      Sure there are people lots of people would agree are attractive , but not necessarily be attracted to. Same with finding someone unattractive , a person could objectively be unattractive but to someone else still they will be attracted to them.

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