So I was doing some googling to see what the popular opinion was on getting married young. (Young as in under 25). I have personally always believed it’s not a good decision to get engaged before age 25. However, I found an article written by Steven Crowder from 3 years ago that says the very opposite in an extremely rude way, which really pissed me off.
He wrote his opinion piece in response to a Huffington Post article on why marrying under 25 should be banned in the U.S. His first response is “I know what you’re thinking…hipsters. “. To which I reply, no that’s not what anyone is thinking. How is thinking that way at all like a hipster? He’s already coming off so intelligent to me. Crowder goes on to say that he knows of many people, including himself that have gotten married and have been married for quite some time and are still happy. However, I’m going to assume that he is a religious man and so is his family, so that leads me to believe that these people frown upon or maybe even do not allow divorce. Therefore, it’s not like they have that choice so no wonder they’re still together.
I know of an Evangelical couple (my friend’s parents) who are apparently not in love at all anymore but are staying together for their children’s sake. That’s fine for them or anyone else who really wants to deal with that unhappiness (I guess you could potentially be happy that way, but it’s unlikely). I, on the other hand, could not deal with that. And as a child, I would want my parents to be happy. Once I was mature enough to understand what my parents were feeling, I would definitely hold no resentment towards them or their decision to divorce. By the way, I grew up with split parents and went through two divorces, so I know what I’m talking about with that one. He then says that it’s not all people or people like him marrying young that’s the problem, it’s the Huff Post author marrying young that’s the problem. “That tends to happen when vapid, valueless leftists make poor life decisions,” he says. That statement was honestly completely unnecessary and rude. Crowder then states that unlike what the author of the Huff Post article says, he has not changed his mind since he was 14 on the person he wanted to be or wanted to be with.
In my opinion, that’s terrifying to be the same person you were at 14 and never experience change and growth. It also sounds incredibly boring. But like the other author stated, many, many people have not found out who they want to be or who they want to be with at that time in their lives. They still need time to grow and figure out what they like by dating around. And dating around is not shameful either. Everyone does things in their own way and dating around is one way to find out what you like. Then the Huff Post author states that she wanted to spend her early 20s partying and having fun. Crowder just outright insults her and everyone who chooses to live that way saying that it’s “living life like a dime store floozy”. Honestly, just what the hell. That’s generalization, sexism, and just being a dick. He doesn’t even try to see that’s what the majority of young people are doing and recognizing that you can do those things and still be responsible.
Crowder also says; “I’m guessing that ability to withstand peer pressure and adhere to one’s values might translate to the kind of backbone necessary for a successful lifelong relationship.” What he doesn’t understand is that a lot of people who partake in the partying lifestyle are not submitting to peer pressure, it’s just something they think is fun and so they partake (and I’m speaking from experience). Additionally, just because a person has this kind of lifestyle does not mean they don’t have what it takes to have a successful long-term relationship. Those two things are almost completely unrelated. He goes on to question the Huff Post author: “Did [anyone] explain to you the statistical benefits of abstinence until marriage, and the possible pitfalls of living together before tying the knot?” This is where he cites a book written in 1996 to try and back up abstinence.
Honestly, abstinence doesn’t even seem relevant in this conversation. Nonetheless, it’s been proven that states who only teach abstinence have the highest number of teen pregnancies. So his information is obsolete and irrelevant. Another thing, I don’t think it could at all negatively affect a couple to live together before marrying. If anything it would be beneficial because it gives you real insight on what it could be like to be with that person 24/7 and help you decide if that’s what you want. Altogether, I was very upset by this man’s article. He fails to understand so many things about the maturing and growing that happens to a person in their young adulthood. Human brains aren’t even fully developed until age 25. (Which is probably the reason the Huff Post author chose the age that she did.) It’s honestly very reasonable to ban marriage for adults under 25 for this reason. Yet, I understand why that won’t and shouldn’t happen. Adults should be free to make their own stupid mistakes.