Getting Married Young: Is It A Bad Idea?

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

One of my best friends in the entire world is 22-years-old and has been married for almost three years. My friend, Megan, is the happiest she’s ever been. But that is not always the case for most couples.

Is getting married young a good or bad idea?

Getting married young is a decision a couple has to make together. If one person is even a little hesitant the marriage is doomed to fail.

Before my friends got married, they had a conversation about the possibility of getting married (they had been dating since sophomore year of HS) on paper, no ceremony. Megan had medical problems and no medical insurance. Jim had a great job with amazing benefits. So he proposed the idea of marriage to Megan, and he promised her that one day they'd have their dream wedding ceremony. Eventually Megan agreed.

Megan and Jim were/are madly in love and for them getting this made sense. Jim wanted to help the woman he loved/s and this was the only way he knew how.

Getting married young isn't for everyone. Marriage is hard and it takes a lot of work and ultimately you have to be one to decide what's right for you.

What are your thoughts on this subject and marriage in general?

[Northeast106]

In the example above, marriage made sense. Marriage for most people however, isn't a good idea. I also think because of her medical problems and what the couple probably faced together, they were forced to mature a lot faster than your average 22 year old. Marriage is a huge financial and legal risk in todays times, and to be honest I think it's outdated. There was a woman in California, who worked and the husband was a stay home dad. He ended up going from mr perfect, into an abusive psychopath. He commited spousal rape against her which was on tape, and when they divorced, she was ordered to pay him alimony. They even had to pass a law named after her to prevent future rulings similar to hers. My point being, is people change and marriage limits your freedom to separate and get away safely. Also, courts only look at income, and character faults only affect the speed of the divorce, not the outcome. No fault divorce and fault divorces have no difference in asset and debt division. Why give the government or courts power over your own economic well being? Why should they have say say in who is your spouse, or who you can love?

[Northeast106]

any say in who is your spouse*

[OhComeOn]

I definitely wouldn't marry at that age, 'cause if I'm marrying someone, I'll do it after years and years of living together. I want to know perfectly who I'm marrying, it's forever after all. I think it's an important decision that should be made when you're fully mature to understand what it means to be with someone for the rest of your life, and I don't think 22 years are enough. I am 20, I'm still a student and I can barely take care of myself and my room. Of course everyone is different, but... you never know what might happen. 22 is so young...

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

They had been living together since freshman year of college and now they have a house.

[Guy13]

It is all about maturity and not the "things of the world" The things of the world will come to the mature.

[YourFutureEx]

I can mention around 10-15 drawbacks of this. I'm interested if someone could tell me the benefits of it.

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

Of being married young?

[YourFutureEx]

Yes.

[sugarchateau]

Bad. But if it makes you happy for the time being, do it. You don't know until you try! (: there's always divorce options.

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

Or annulment! Haha

[ThatGuy98]

My parents married in their early twenties and they are still happy married 20 years after. I don't see anything wrong with marrying early as long as you are both mature and aware of the responsibility it takes.

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

My godparents, too. They've been married for 25 plus years. Probably almost 30 now

[ThatGuy98]

Yeah it's nice to see couples like that since it isn't as common nowadays.. :/

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

It makes me sad. I hope my friends make it last forever (or as long as they both shall live)

[ThatGuy98]

True that

[Anonymous]

In general, getting married at any age is a bad idea for men these days.

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

Why do you say that?

[Opinion Owner]

Lots of reasons. Expectations are very different today than in the past. Men are expected to do the housework, shopping, dishes, be great fathers AND still be the primary breadwinner (let's not kid ourselves).

There is a greater chance of divorce than ever and men get screwed in divorce. The laws are set up against men and women are more than happy to take full advantage of that. Odds are he will end up paying child support for kids he doesn't have a right to spend much time with.

Women do not offer the same benefits to men in marriage that they used to.

Those are a few.

www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/24/war-on-men/

www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...ant-t_b_3467778.html

[Northeast106]

It works both ways, it's also bad for women too. People can develop substance abuse problems, cheat, become abusive, lazy etc. Not being married, you can pack up and break it off when you feel the relationship is toxic. When your legally married, the minumum to file is over 400 dollars, thats if you file yourself, unless your low income. It also takes 6 months to be legally free from that person, and you might have to battle over property and debts. It's really not worth it, just just another means for the government to make money. Marriage and divorce as far as the authorities are concerned, is a money making business.

[apexalpha]

I would wait to at least 25

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

Yeah, I don't even know if I'll ever get married

[tenofthepeaks]

no, it's just modern society that says it's wrong.

[ParkAvenuePrincess]

I don't know why, my godparents god married young and have been married for over 25 years.

[tenofthepeaks]

it was the norm then, and for much of history.