Get a Prenup Because Tragically, Marriages Don't Last

[libertynap]

“…We’ve been together for a long time… Will you marry me?”

“Yes! I do… but wait, can I keep our future house if our marriage was to fail, tho?”

(If you don’t know what a prenup is, it’s short for a prenuptial agreement. It’s “an agreement made by a couple before they marry concerning the ownership of their respective assets should the marriage fail.”)

It’s counter-intuitive to even think of having a prenup because we all want to believe that marriages last forever. At least in America, about half of marriages fall apart sooner or later anyways. I don’t really encourage marriage in general for many reasons. In my opinion, the point of marriage is to have kids together and that's it. (I know of a guy who married a woman just so she can move to America - but in actuality, he's gay. Crazy.) A bond is better than a title. The quality of the relationship is better than being called his “Mrs.” (Weddings are incredibly stressful and can be a waste of money. A lot of thought is being put into whether having chocolate or vanilla cake. Like, really?)

If I were to get married and my fiancé wanted me to sign a prenup… then hell yes, I’d definitely agree to it. If anything, I encourage it. It may sound extremely cynical and distrustful, but you can never be too safe with your belongings. What I had or worked for before the marriage should still be mine if we were to no longer be together. There’s nothing wrong with the concept of it, it’s just the thought that the marriage has the possibility of failing is what gets people all riled up. (With an exception to death - but that's besides the point.)

To many people, marriage “proves” how much two people love each other. But it’s still a relationship just like any other where a couple has been together for a while, except now you just share last names and the government has a record of it. That’s all it is. With all relationships, they all have a possibility of failing. (Some more than others, of course.) And with that failure, the couple once again has to “prove” that they don’t love each other anymore. Then comes another stupid, time consuming, and pricey process... divorce. More complications arise about shared assets now. If there was a prenup, it would make things somewhat easier.

If anything, signing a prenup could actually test how strong a marriage is. Just a thought. Marriage doesn't equate to love. And for some people, they get more love from their leather recliner than from their spouse of six years.

[Unit1]

Good stuff!
Marriage does not fix a dysfunctional relationship. If anything it only prolongs it temporary until the inevitable divorce happens.
True love does not need to be proved by getting married. If relationships fail, then it's only natural and bound to happen, sooner or later.

Marriage is useless and an over exaggerated waste of resources. Marriage is also overrated.

[Prettygurl12]

I just want to say... what kind of lame ass party are you having that the ceremony and reception only lasts 2 hours? lol

[btbc92]

That is not a marriage, that is enslavement. If you feel your marriage is going to be like this and prenups are needed. Don't get married. You'll just be another miserable divorcee with extra baggage, debt, probably kids to deal with, and a lot more regret then ever. Marriages are not for you to toy around and think it is a game. It is REAL BUSINESS. SERIOUS business. Not for the weak or faint of heart, but for those who are willing to be strong for each other in a sacred union. You have to already have love in you and want to share that love and happiness with another person to call your own. You think with this negative thinking that marriages don't last: do everybody else a favor that love marriage and want to stay married for life and have 30,40 & 50 year anniversaries with a loving family and have occasional debates and arguments here and there. Which by the way signifies a healthy marriage as long as you do it fairly and not be rude, mean or nasty. STAY SINGLE!

Real people who isn't in LALA land, dreaming up a fantasy by smoking too many pipe dreams from these idiots they end up marrying to, is sexually selfish in marriage because they THINK they don't have to have sex when they should, are not going to have dysfunctional marriages like this unless they let it happen. Sex is a marriage and marriage is about sex! If you don't want sex, don't get married. A healthy marriage has couples who have sex at least 3-4 times a week. Not once a month, to less than few months to once a year! Arguments and debates are normal! Even if it gets heated, it is normal! As long as it isn't emotional, mental, psychological and physical abuse in a domestic situation, it is normal. You don't have to be rude, you don't have to be nasty and belittling to each other.

I say it like this. Get your priorities straight right now. If your goal is to find a dating partner worth marrying. Figure out what you want BEFORE you date, and let that person know what is your intensions for that relationship regarding future plans, sex, etc BEFORE becoming official. Marriage is about sharing, a sacrifice of your wants for the others needs, giving your very best and whole self 100% of your daily marriage life. Not 50/50. Marriage is and was never 50/50. Can't do it? Stay single. Your concern about YOUR money? Stay single. So that way that money is all yours. Don't want debt? Stay single. You can handle it on your own. Hate sex? Stay single. Rather masturbate and have porn instead of...

[btbc92]

having a real fleshly body to have sex with, ALL while your depriving of that person sexually for your wants? Think it doesn't hurt a person? Or your marriage? Stay single. But I sure don't want nobody cater to their own hand instead of me. Don't like being told what to do? Stay single. So that way you need to have a woman/man care about what you do. You can do bad all by yourself... without a spouse. Would rather be right about everything? Just. Stay. SINGLE! We have too many people married to narcissist, when marriage is about working together! Thinking about divorce in your future? Stay SINGLE! Nobody wants a person who is secretly thinking about divorcing them later. Yes, anything can happen. But this is where your vows come in: In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for WORSE! Don't like that idea, please. For the love of Georgia. Stay single. Marriage is a very serious commitment. It isn't a piece of paper, a ring, or whatever you think it is...

[btbc92]

it is You and Your spouse. You put whatever you want in this empty slate called 'marriage'. Fix it however you want. Decorate it however you want. But you do it together. Best Regards.

A reverse opinion coming from a Christian, Celibate single woman.

[chrisbigman]

You had some grammar mistakes, but otherwise very good opinion.

[btbc92]

@chrisbigman Yeah I know my computer is causing me problems. Thank you for the comment.

[MagiAlphaOne]

Men, in particular, need to get a Prenup!

Get a good Attorney. Find out how effective Prenups are in your State. The timing and execution of the Prenup is CRITICAL.

Ladies need to understand the following...

1. Marriage has NO benefit to Men.

Dr. Helen Smith, Ph. D., author of "Men on Strike" says...

- "What exactly does marriage offer men today? Men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family".
- “They (Men) don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over. Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.”
- "Perhaps these men know all too well that women initiate the vast majority of divorces — anywhere from 65-90 percent, depending on demographics."
- Men lose all power after they say “I do.”

Source...
www.foxnews.com/.../why-men-wont-marry.html

2. Your Husband is putting his very Life in your hands! Men commit Suicide at 4 times the rate as Women. If you Divorce him and take 50% of his Finances and his Children, the Suicide rate goes up to 9-12 times.

3. Ladies, these a HUGE problems you have to overcome. Women have to bring A LOT more to the table. She is going to have to demonstrate virtue, values and TRUST that she will NOT leave him, take his money and the kids.

[Leaflar]

In other words, she has to date ludicrously below her league in order to make it fair for the man. Basically having sex with her a few times has to be worth ruining the rest of his life. The men for whom that is true... aren't worth marrying anyway.

Modern marriage is never a good idea.

[America1st]

Many marriages don't last because nobody tries to work together to make them work. The youth of today, basicly, takes the easy way out. I'm not saying all marriages end because of that, but I'd have no problem betting that more than half are due to my reasaon. Marriage used to mean something but not to our younger generation. The worst part of thisa is you are on;ly 18 and you've already made up your mind that it sucks. I'm not being mean, but this attitude just about ensures you won't have a good marriage. You don't seem to think its possible. If you plan on failure, you'll get failure. I forgot to mention that I've been married for years. Did we have problems, absolutely. You can't be together that much and not have them. I called them challenges to overcome, not reasons to walk. Our marriage became stronger because we worked together to achieve our goals. Staying married was a goal. Your broad statement tham marriage doesn't equate to love is terribly short sighted. I married because I loved her and I do what it takes to keep our love strong. I hope for your sake that you ease up on this a little bit and give it a try.

[JudgmentDay]

Didn't I mention this before on multiple occasions that this is the reality of ALL relationships? Absolutely NO GUARANTEES whatsoever anywhere that it would ever last forever? Things that can go bad and can go wrong can go bad and wrong Completely Unexpectedly.

Besides, Marriage doesn't Absolutely Guarantee "Happiness" anyway.

The biggest problem is the system. If you aren't aware of how it works and what it can do to fuck you over, then you're in for some real deep shit.

Even though prenups are NOT guaranteed to make things better for a marriage, it would probably still be better to have one one than having no prenup at all!

Any serious doubts, then just cancel all of the wedding plans and don't bother signing any of the paperwork. Otherwise, once you signed paperwork without reading the fine print and having a completely clear understanding of the system, the clauses, then when things go bad and go wrong, YOU'RE FUCKED!

[Unit1]

The illusion of marriage being the beginning of eternal happiness has blinded many people. There is nothing, that can fill the void, that is what many people also believe can be filled. It's not like you can feed the hunger to still it. It remains there. The difference between not being married and being married recently is just, that you believe the void CAN be filled when you were not married but you find out it's not true. After the marriage the void still persists but you have also signed a piece of paper, that can legally possess you and your assets with your spouse.
The "magic" of marriage won't last long. Sooner or later the natural thing will happen.
You cannot fix a broken metal pipe with isolation tapes (which is in this case in comparison 2 humans separating by nature and fixing it with a marriage contract, which will divorce later anyway), the pipes won't hold long until the tape weakens and drops both pipes down.

[Unit1]

You have to WELD both metal pipes in order for them to stay connected permanently (which is in human case comparison, that both people respect each another and care for each another and accept each another and trust each another). Only this way relationships and pipes will remain connected and strong!

[WeaponZero]

At 35 years old I've experienced enough to know that no matter how hard you are willing to work to try to fix whatever problems you're having and no matter how much you invest into it, you're only half of the equation. You will never be able to account for whether or not your partner can make that same claim 5, 10, or 15 years from now. You can't control how much time can change you two as people.

My ex and I broke up because after the death of her grandfather who she was very very close with she became a different person. Dealing with the loss changed who she was in a way where our relationship was no longer something she was willing to make a priority in life. And after the kind of person she became in a matter of months after she wasn't somebody I honestly wanted to be with anymore.

[EllieLexis513]

Marriages do last if you marry the right person for the right reasons and know what marriage actually is. Marriage is work. It's not the same as dating, and most people who marry early, especially those still in college or at least before the age of 25, don't seem to understand that. Part of it is the parents fault. I am fortunate enough to have parents that will be celebrating their 32nd anniversary next year and have been married for as long as my siblings and I have been alive. However, I know way too many people who have parents who aren't married, never were married, parents were abusive verbally and physically to one another, and never showed their children what a real marriage looks like, which is most likely why I have different dating standards than they do. I want to get married, but not bad enough to be with someone I don't love, who doesn't listen, who gripes about what I can and can't do on social media, and isn't willing to change.

[chrisbigman]

Exactly!

[Mrwoo99]

Prenups are not always 100% insured to secure your finances. Even with the new feminsts laws being put down where after a 2 year relationship she can declare half 9f the man's resources. This is why men are pulling out and not looking for girlfriends because feminism is scaring men away. Soon enough women won't find commitment and men will just use women for nothing else but sex.

Look I'll get married and have a girlfriend but am not going to do it if the government says women are allowed access to my resources if we both together. Otherwise it's just prostitution then.

[Reallio]

I believe in prenups, not so sure if my boyfriend is (because he says he trusts me). Honestly you should always get a prenup, divorces are shitty, and you don't want your spouse (or ex-spouse in this scenario) to take half of your shit just because you two pieces of shit couldn't get along xD

[Relentless_Hippie]

Marriages do last. And divorce rates aren't reliable. If you get married already worrying about divorce then you don't need to get married period. Even if the marriage does end I would think the spouse would be a good enough person to not want to ruin your life. People need to put more time and effort into who they're marrying. If they took it seriously then these kinds of problems wouldn't exist.

[chrisbigman]

Exactly!

[iCroissant]

Solution: choose better spouses. Don't rush into it like people do. Don't date someone or marry someone because you're afraid to end up alone.

And stop being so selfish, both of them.

-Someone who's grandparents, aunts/uncles, and parents have all been married without breakups for over 20 years.

[Regulatus]

Better solution: Don't get married.

[confusedgirl239]

Prenuptial agreements can make divorce substantially easier, which is a little morbid to go into the marriage with. I would say that if my husband and/or I had considerable assets, it would make sense to have a prenuptial agreement. For two ordinary people, it's probably more hassle than it's worth, while kind of starting off your marriage with a black mark on it.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

True but I don't think a truly dysfunctional couple should have to stay together they should go further to make it work if they have kids but even then there are some relationships where the kids would be in a better environment with separated parents!

devours lawyers can cost many thousands in some cases tens of thousands if you can agree on something before hand it may only cost you a few hundred and remove a lot of the stress and uncertainty.

[MrOracle]

The force is strong with this one.

https://cdn.meme.am/instances/11386848.jpg

[Regulatus]

50% chance of divorce. That's all anyone needs to know. Is that worth gambling half your assets plus a portion of your future income? And of the 50% who don't get divorced, a large portion (especially men) are miserable. They jusy don't want to lose access to their kids, so they stay.

[MrAtticusLebowski]

Don't forget to add that it's %70 of women that initiate the majority of divorces.

[Anonymous]

Prenups should be mandatory, IMHO.

If they are legally required for marriage, we can get rid of a lot of BS.

Additionally, alimony has to go. Child support should obviously stay.

None of this bull about keeping them in the style they're accustomed to.

The marriage is over, you don't get the benefits.

[BubbleBoy69]

prenups get thrown out all the time by judges.

[Opinion Owner]

@BubbleBoy69 Which is wrong IMHO. It should be a legally enforceable contract.

[Anonymous]

Blah blab blah 😒 Marriage ONLY works for people that understand commitment and selflessness. It is not for weak people like you. Don't undermine marriage because punk ass bitches like you and your overly coddled generation, can't fucking hack it. So sick of seeing the same bs.

[libertynap]

Overly coddled? Says the one on anonymous ;)

[marmie]

The 50% divorce statistic is deceptive.

If you factor out people who marry before age 25, as well as people on their 2nd and 3rd marriage, the divorce rate lowers.

[Regulatus]

And why should those groups be factored out? They got married, they got divorced.

[marmie]

@Regulatus

They should be factored out for people who aren't in those groups. Someone who is 21 for example, should wait a few years until they mature.

[aficionado]

The problem is, the moment a man brings up a pre-nup the woman dumps him. So I don't see how prenups can work. Women (most of them) are against prenups.

[BubbleBoy69]

prenups don't hold up in court.

[tony1988]

I agree 100%. I would never marry a woman without her signing a prenup. I have know guys have had wives up and leave them and they loose everything they work for. The fact is sometimes marriages fall apart and no man or woman should ever have to give up everything they worked their whole lives for.

[Anonymous]

in my opinion if your already thinking about the end then you shouldn't be getting married. We live in a new era, you can live together and not marry, it's pretty excepted now and not against the law anymore.

[Anonymous]

Pre nups are essential - if the bitch runs when you demand one, she'd have taken you for everything in a few years. Congratulations Houdini, you got out of that one scott free, and all it took was those four magic words - I want a pre-nup.

[BubbleBoy69]

prenups get thrown out all the time by judges.

[Opinion Owner]

@BubbleBoy69 Then you're getting married/divorced in the wrong locales.