I began developing my life timeline in high school. I've only realized in this past year that I may be a bit of a perfectionist, but anyways, that results in feeling the need to have a solid, laid out plan for the future. I can be spontaneous, but when it comes to long-term things, I need a plan to feel comfortable jumping off the deep end.
I thought about what I wanted. A husband, babies, and a job. A college degree. A house. Traveling the world, moving to New York City to start hiking up the corporate ladder, and becoming a movie star were not on that list. I just wanted to jump straight from college to real life, getting married and having a family.
So I worked it all out. From the time I was maybe a sophomore in high school, age 23 stuck out to me. I was going to get married at 23. That just sounded right. To everyone else, it sounded young, too early, too soon. They shook their heads with that knowing look but told me yeah, go ahead, you do that. I didn't really date in high school. Those boys weren't who I was looking for.
The timeline came together:
Graduate from high school, age 18.
Go to college - across the country, in a state you've never been to before.
Meet a boy in college. The one. I'd have to meet him in my sophomore or junior year of college. Then we could date for an appropriately long amount of time before getting engaged. So, say I meet him sophomore year. We date for two, three years, get engaged, okay. Junior year, we'd date for a year before getting engaged, still fine. Senior year would really be pushing it, so I'd have to make sure the soulmate search went according to timeline. Age 19-21.
Graduate college, age 22.
The spring before graduating, or maybe shortly after graduating, that boy would propose. I'd say yes. Age 22.
We'd be engaged for a year.
Get our first adult jobs, build up funds, save up for a down payment on a house and for the wedding. Age 22-23.
Get married the following spring. Maybe April. Age 23.
Continue working and saving up for the house.
Buy a house together. One we could stay in for at least a few years. One with room for kids to run and play. Age 24.
Have our first child, age 25.
That was it. That was the timeline. I worked it out the best I could as a high schooler, adapted it a little as I went through my first year of college. I accounted for the time needed as best I could. Counted the minimum number of years until I could reasonably provide for and have a child.
People shook their heads some more when I told them, my mom and my friends. "You can't just plan your life out like that. It doesn't work on a time line. Things just happen when they need to."
I shrugged it off. It wasn't the end of the world if it didn't work. But to me, it seemed reasonable. I couldn't think of any reason why the timeline couldn't work. And I couldn't even begin to imagine trying to date after college, so I held tight to my timeline.
Well, now I'm here and I'm realizing that the timeline is going to work out. Likely exactly as I planned it. I graduated high school, moved across country to my college. I had my freshman year and got my wild college experience. No boyfriend. Up until this point I hadn't really officially dated anyone. I started to figure that the first person I really dated was going to be the person I eventually married, because I'd gotten to be sure of what and who I wanted, and wasn't going to waste my time with people I knew weren't right for me.
And then I found him. Sophomore year. We fell in love and everything lined up. I'd told him about the timeline when we were just friends. He happened to share very similar ideals. There was no concept of "live my life before I settle down and have a family" for either of us, the family was the only life we wanted. Very soon after we officially became boyfriend/girlfriend, we started to talk about marriage. Carefully at first, with the "I don't just date for fun, I date with the intention of it ending in marriage" mentions, and then full on talk of marriage once each realized that was allowed. He knows I feel the need to graduate from college before getting married, and he accepts that. He's counting down the days.
But the point is, somehow, some way, I have hit the toughest milestone on the timeline. I knew I could do the rest. The hardest part was always going to be finding the love of my life, but he walked into my life one day and we've never parted ways since. He is perfect for me in every way imaginable and I love him so much. We understand each other. I always had a difficult time picturing myself in a serious relationship because I just didn't know what it would be like, but it's all fallen into place so perfectly and effortlessly.
I'll keep you updated on the rest of the timeline. I don't know if I am gonna make it five more years before I decide to have a child, though, so we may need to speed it up a bit.
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