Is sex everyday with my husband good for my marriage?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I had been married for about 6 months now. We are having sex almost everyday except when I'm on my period. He would come home from work, have dinner with me, watch a movie then shower and its sex. There are times I wonder if he only need me for sex. Don't get me wrong I love and enjoy having sex with him and we do other things than having sex. However I feel that him having sex with me everyday is just because he want sex not me. Is having sex everyday even healthy for my marriage?

Updates

+1 y

Because he would work almost 6 days a week, we only have one day together. he works from 7am to 8pm sometimes later. At most 10pm and the only thing we do together is eat, movies, talk a little then have sex. I feel as if I'm just like someone official for him to have sex with. I don't know if its making love or just sex to him.

Updates

+1 y

Let me give another example, when we're on our honeymoon in Europe for few weeks. He didn't want to do anything but stay in the hotel room and have sex. When we are out walking and touring he would start making noise and be restless often nagging at me to go back to the hotel with him. The only times he's willing to step out of hotel is only if its dinner or lunch. I did enjoy sex with him but I felt it was too overboard.

[Redshift]

Does he need a release? Yes, every man does. Sexually frustrated men often turn violent. That is why porn is widespread. BUT that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. The fact he's ok with you not wanting any and can wait for you is proof enough. Not to mention we can get release in 5 mins and not care about the girl. He doesn't sound like doing that. We don't have many ways to show love so this way he both tells you he loves you and makes sure both of you are happy, which is the whole point of making love - both people feel pleasure from being together. Please don't think that we don't connect sex to love. We do. I'd be more worried if he no longer wants it for long periods of time. For more questions about how we think I recommend you watch Mark Gungor's seminar. It is hilarious and pretty acurate.

[accomplice]

Sex is a basic human need. Most commonly accepted views of marriage say that by marrying him, you're agreeing to work to meet one another's needs, including sexual.

There will be days where he feels a deep need to connect with you or express his love for you, and that's why he'll want to have sex. There'll be days when he wants to feel that you still love him, and that's why he'll want to have sex. And there'll be some days where he'll just want to have sex. That's ok. Not every time will be the harps play and the heavens sing.

Your question highlights one of *your* needs that isn't getting met -- you want to feel wanted and desired as a person for attributes other than sex. Perhaps having sex every day isn't the problem, but not feeling desired every day is.

[Asker]

yes. Thats what I meant

[Winesteed]

Do you want to have sex everyday? Do you both enjoy sex every day? Do you both go "Oh man, I can't wait to have sex with my spouse!"

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then every day sex is right for you!

It seems like he just has a high libido and he's really into you. A man doesn't need you to have an orgasm, he's (presumably) got at least one hand and a good imagination. If you are considering slowing down on the amount of sex you have, talk to him about it and make the times that you do have sex? Make those times earth shatteringly fantastic. Instead of seven quickies, pair down to three full length fucking extravaganzas!

Were you two having sex before you got married? Or did you wait?

[Asker]

We waited. We never had quickies before.

[Winesteed]

I actually know a lot of people who waited until marriage to have sex, and then fucked like bunnies because 1: sex is awesome and 2: they were really into their spouse.

He might be a highly sexual person, and for him sex might be how he shows affection. If you don't want to have sex, tell him you don't want to have sex. Or tell him you have something special planned and you'd like for him to wait, and then you guys can have epic sex on his night off. Reclaim the fact that you want sex to be fun and enjoyable and special, but also make it intense enough that you're both like "Oh, holy shit, I'm glad we waited a whole week for this."

For some people, daily sex is right for them because they're both into it, but given the feelings you're having right now you both might want to talk. Sex is complicated for a lot of people and, in some cases, waiting until marriage puts a weird spin on something completely natural.

[Asker]

Don't get me wrong. I love sex I just don't like the idea there is a possibility he's using me to just get off

[lolatyou]

It's not a bad thing, that sounds like a good relationship to me lol. What is making you feel like he only wants you for sex though? Are you not enjoying sex with him? Does he not pay you any attention outside of sex? You said he works a lot so is him not spending enough time with you an issue that could be making you feel that way as well? I guess you just need to think about what's really bothering and if it's even related to having sex everyday.

[Asker]

Yes I do feel he is not accompanying me but my sister thinks its a very normal working hours. 7am to 7pm sometimes OT and 1 day off.

[lolatyou]

That's a lot of hours. Do you work also?

[Asker]

Nope.

[lolatyou]

Was thinking maybe you could ask him to cut his hours.

[SarahsSummer]

As long as it's mutually respected and desired sex, it is. Unless you have other evidence to his behavior, I'd just say he's madly in love and loving the sex with his beautiful bride. You are still in the "honeymoon" phase too.

[Asker]

Not really is just that its every single day that he wants to have sex with me and as much as I love having sex with him I hope he do it out of wanting me instead of because he just want sex in itself.

[SarahsSummer]

He married you. He wants you.

[Asker]

Yes I know he want me just that because he naturally have high sex drive. I feel like a release bowl to him. Therefore he wants sex everyday

[Asker]

I would enjoy the sex much more knowing if he do it because he wants to be with me rather than for release

[SarahsSummer]

Please don't ruin your marriage over something you created in your head.

[Cormac995]

Sex is good for marriage. As long as it's enough you both feel emotionally fulfilled and love and trust each other it can be as much or as little as you want. You can fuck once a week or twice a day doesn't matter as long as you and your SO are on the same page about sex.

[Phoenix98]

Sex in general is vital to a healthy marriage but you don't need it every single day a couple times a week should be fine. Try to spend some time with him if you can outside of the house as two people enjoying each others company and not just having sex.

[cth96190]

The way to have a happy man is to keep his stomach full and his balls empty.
So. . . sex every day is a normal and necessary part of a relationship.
A smart woman will ensure that her man's balls are empty before he leaves in the morning, so that he will not get the urge to look at other women during the day.

[Anonymous]

Its just 6 months, and will be okay in 6+ months. You just not worry about it and enjoy it! Don't ask here on GAG because different people will give you different opinion and you start judging your relation which is indeed not healthy for ur relation. So, having sex daily shall never come with something unhealthy but discussing here will may. Cheers and happy sex :D

[MadeInAmerica]

I would think that it's not so bad. A lot people have this "new love and attraction" with their partner now that they are married. After awhile I think your lust for him will wear off and go back to how it was before you were married.

[Asker]

Its him always initiating sex and although I don't reject him there is a doubt in my head if he's just using me for sex

[MadeInAmerica]

He might be a little. Sounds like he is using you as kind of a "release". The best way to tell is to say no and see how he reacts.

[Asker]

I tried and he just say okay and kissed my forehead before hugging me to sleep.

[Girly1710]

What? Sex most days and then love and cuddles even when you're not in the mood? You have a pretty perfect situation. I'd be grateful.

[Asker]

@Girly1710 I'm not being ungrateful. I just wonder he just wants me for 'release' like what this dude said. I can't help but feel it because its just sex everyday and I was a virgin before I married him.

[RationalMale]

Lmao... you're seriously asking if physical intimacy is bad for marriage? It sounds like he works pretty hard to ensure you two have good finances and live well.

Maybe you two should bargain--he only works three days a week, and you two only have sex three days a week. Fair's fair, right?

[Anonymous]

I would hazard a guess that it's a plus and helps bond you together, vs. a minus, unless one of you feels resentful.

At your age the average guy masturbates close to daily when single. That -is- a normal sex drive at his age.

So he can be having sex with you and feeling happy and close to you, or he can be jerking off alone feeling unwanted and fantasizing about other stuff.

Which sounds better for your marriage?

[Prof_Don]

Sex is perfectly fine everyday, but make sure that you two do talk so you emotionally connect.

It will be an adjustment for him because men when tired become very emotionally unaware (myself included). Make sure to show patience with him. :)

[Asker]

When i ask him he do say he love me. I'm just wondering if everyday is normal

[Prof_Don]

He's just tired and fatigued, that's just how us males are when we are tired or focused.

[Asker]

What does it got to do with him being tired? He's the one always initiating sex the moment he gets on the bed and it would go on for few hours before he stop. I only get to see him when he's back from work. When i wake up he's not there.

[abundantlyrich]

He is using sex as a relief from long hrs. Im suprised about that when guys work longers, they r not up for sex as they are tired. Those work hrs are crazy, and it just wants him to stay at home more when he spends a big bulk of his time at work.

[abundantlyrich]

Maybe you'll feel differently if you worked and there's not enough time to spend time with him

[Humping_Tornadoes]

If you were enjoying it with him, like he does, then yeah it'd be totally healthy. Instead, now you are conspiring on his back, thinking he's using you for sex only. And then women wonder why men don't want to get marry...😑

[Asker]

I do enjoy but I don't feel marriage is about sex.

[Humping_Tornadoes]

I mean, do you two talk? Do you tell them about your day when you two sit and dine?

[Humping_Tornadoes]

tell him*

[Asker]

We talk a little but there is nothing much about my day other than mopping the house like a bored wife.

[Asker]

He's a man with few words.

[Humping_Tornadoes]

Does he tell you he loves you? You also said you watch movies together, too.

[Asker]

only when i ask if do you love me he will say yes. There are times I reply him 'Why don't I feel so?" he would tell me 'but i do'

[HookingSwan]

@asker well, if you feel like you need to do something else, or talk more, just tell him

Tell him you are feling the need to connect more emotionally.

The only way to get over this is by finding a solution together. but u need to let him know what it is that you think you need... He is not a mind reader

[Asker]

@HookingSwan I do talk to him. He's the one not talking.

[HookingSwan]

try discussing with him strategies, think about other activities you can do, in order to connect more

or simply tell him that u want to converse with him more, but dk what about. im sure he will make an effort to help you come up with a conversation topic once he knows u are feeling like this

btw: maybe he is also stressed of worried with work, which makes him want to just relax. and having sex is a good way to decompress

[Asker]

@HookingSwan I'm okay with the sex. It's just the intentions behind it.

[HookingSwan]

I get it. but sometimes sex is just sex...

Im sure he loves you

[Asker]

@HookingSwan Its because of this I feel he's using me

[HookingSwan]

...

Well, maybe you could tell him that you are feeling that, because you have sex everyday, that he is just doing it to fulfill a need and not exactly to make love.

But I don't know how he woud take that...

Butif you keep feeling like this, then it's best just to flat out ask tell him what is on ur mind...

[Asker]

@HookingSwan I did he said he is making love to me every single time we have sex. I do feel it during the sex. It's always making love. Is just the aftermath it makes me suspect if he's just using me everyday

[Humping_Tornadoes]

@Asker, listen to @HookingSwan. Talk to him about it, tell him you want to communicate more, and hang out somewhere, and that's it. You said it yourself, he is not very talkative but he still finds ways to tell you he loves you and to watch movies together. As far as he knows, he's probably communicating enough. Sometimes sex is just sex as @HookingSwan also said and sometimes is more passionate, but it doesn't mean he is using you lol. Sex is and should be part of every relationship, and it's completely healthy to feel desire, specially only 6 months in.

[Asker]

Okay I understand

[HookingSwan]

Couldn't have said it better, tornado lol xD

[Asker]

@HookingSwan Is there any signs I can tell if he's not using me?

[HookingSwan]

all you can do is have an open convo with him

signs are really an unreliable thing...

[Asker]

@HookingSwan Well I tried many times but all he do is to listen while nodding then sipping his wine and say i do love you with a serious face.

[Mesonfielde]

Well it could be healthy if you didn't think he was with you only for sex, for example.

[Asker]

I am just wondering.

[ThePetSquirrel]

I think that's a great sign. I'm no expert in marriage counseling, but I'd perceive it to be quite healthy, and if he didn't want to have sex, that'd be far more concerning. I don't see anything to worry about if I were you.

[HaveNoName]

There is nothing wrong. It is usual for the first few months. Specially if you waited for marriage to be physically involved. This will gonon until. one day you get pregnant. After that, it will slow down.

[CleoNicole]

omg dun be silly this is a good thing he married you for god's sake ! i wish my husband would fuck me everyday except i dun have a husband so

[GreatnessRevamped]

It's fine, newly weds should be banging each other's brains out for the first year or 2.

[DiogoRibeiro]

Having an active sex life is very good for your marriage. But only if you're into it too. ;)

[cinderelli]

if having food healthy for your body? there's your answer..

[MichaelJoseph89]

He's a guy. He wants to fuck his wife. The fact that he wants you everyday is a good thing. When he stops wanting sex so much is when you should be worried he's hittin' it on the side.

[ConsultantIsBack]

I am scared to death about getting married and not having sex every day lol

[Anonymous]

As long as he's not forcing you and you do other things too and enjoy each other's company, I can't see a problem. I don't think he's using you. Plus some women complain of not enough sex so enjoy 😛

[Anonymous]

If your not happy with the arrangement then it's more then likely not good for your marriage.

[Jeff51]

Of you want to have sex daily then go for it.

[Tisca4life]

Lol would you rather want him to have sex with someone else? Of course it's healthy.

[skeptic007]

yes
keep going he is your husband hun
get that dick

[Katy16]

I can't see how it could be bad

[sexyphil]

I don't see it doing any harm

[jakeofalltrades]

I don't think it is a bad thing

[Anonymous]

You make this sound like a bad thing

[05Jueey]

Sounds normal to me