Just curious why it seems like so many girls want marriage so badly, especially more than most guys want it. Want to know peoples' thoughts. I know this has probably been asked before but oh well. Mostly I'm curious why it matters so much if you're already with a guy who loves you and has been with you for a while, then why does the extra step of marriage matter? What say you?
Emotional or financial security
Fantasy/think they're "supposed to," per their upbringing and life experiences
Just want to lock him down
Mostly for the wedding
Other (explain)
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Why do girls want to get married so badly?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Every girl has her own reasons. But some do not want to get married. I don't want to marry yet but I would like to someday. I will be turning 25 this year.. but Id want to be married by like 28 or 30. I love my boyfriend and he loves me but we've been together for 5 years and he hasn't even talked about marriage. I don't know if he is just dating me until he finds the one... or if he doesn't think i'm the one. But I'm not ready to marry just yet because I enjoy sleeping alone and I am still focused on finishing my masters. But I do not believe in moving in before marriage. I take marriage seriously ( religious and personal reasons) So he knows that I will not be able to move in with him or even spend the night at his house as long as we are not married. I don't care about the money because in about a year I will be making a lot more money and most likely more than him or maybe the same. I also never have really cared about money since I'm a pretty simple person. I just want to be able to share a home with someone I love and share my life with someone. Dating is very different than marriage. Of course It makes sense that since now dating is treated like marriage.. well marriage seems pointless. Now people who are only dating are having sex, see each other every day, expect the other person to join them to every family event like they are married.. they expect the other person to act like they are married by not even letting them to have a guy's night. Couples move in together and have kids without being married so I can understand why that may seem like getting married is pointless? I'm not judging and I do have many friends who do this.
Wow I could make a long list of this or a Blog. So here’s a quick version. Love. Security. Comfort. Loneliness. Lifetime partner. Medical and retirement and disability benefits. Helper with bills. Helpful with savings. Disability helper. 24/7 advice. Sexual, sex anytime. Housecleaner. House repair man. Car repair man. Bed partner. Empty bedside filler. Dating. Chaperone. Personal comedian. Chef. Personal shopper. Game partner. Dance partner. Drinking partner. Driving partner. Partner for everything occasionally of course. Soulmate. Someone to love. Someone to admire. Someone to always have your back. The wedding, the rings, the dress. The marriage. The forever after. The fantasy. Vacation partner. Sex satisfaction. Father of children. Bodyguard. Witnesse. List goes on and on. Family. Share things. Argument partner. Teacher. List goes on and on, think about it. Do you want to be a 70 year old man/women always alone.
Well I've seen plenty of people at 70 who were married and sure weren't having a good time of it. I think this is a very romanticized account of the whole affair, not that there's anything wrong with that if that's how you feel. Seems like most of these get overridden by a few other variables, including a pretty simple one: Boredom.
Marriage is sketchy these days, people divorce for dumbshit reasons. I am skeptical of marriage and actually scared of it, I might someday but I want to be with my SO for at least 10 years before we ever plan on getting married. I do NOT want to be emotionally invested in a girl for a couple years when im like 20-25, get married, and then divorce in 5-10 years like what I've noticed usually happens, and then be destroyed. This is what scares me.
I would hope my girlfriend would understand this, be completely okay with this, support my decision, and genuinely be patient in waiting until I'm ready for marriage. If she isn't okay with this, and doesn't support my decision and won't be patient, well the door is open anytime for her to leave, because if she wants to get married to me, she needs to prove to me over time that she won't break my heart, cheat on me, or use me and betray me. I want her to show me over time that she genuinely loves me and won't leave me and like what usually happens. I think this is understandable, don't you? :|
I think it's because of society's expectations and judgement in which girls grow up thinking they should marry before a certain age : when they are still young and desirable and can carry a healthy baby or give birth at all ; Women, unlike men, face menopause in their early 40s, so it's one of the main reasons I believe. If that is the case, it's only normal to assume that it will most likely be sought to be a legal relationship (marriage). Also, girls are emotional beings by nature, so the idea of marriage, bonding with somebody for life, carrying their children and building a life together and fighting for it moves us a lot deeper than guys.
We were raised to believe in fairy tales and prince charming To get married is the fullfillment of these dreams - illusions- of finding the one and live a happy. life
Pessimists say for the money. I say, no pun intended, because marriage is romanticized in popular culture. It makes a relationship official (in theory) In practice, the relationship often ends anyways.
But feeling and belief can outweigh logic.
In a sense, marriage is the closest two people can get to each other without actually becoming the other. Shared finances. Shared creation (children). It affords stability and connection. Two lives become one.
And women like dresses.
And, yes, some women marry a man to gain access to his money. And some men marry the woman do he can feel special w/ a model wife. Match made in hell I suppose.
I used to want to get married because I wanted to be normal. I had a horrible violent upbringing and I wanted one thing in my life to fit what everyone else had. Now I don't even give the slightest shit. I don't want to worry if the only reason a guy is with me is because of legal obligation cuz we were idiots who promised to be together till death and then our feelings changed. Seems like hell. Being linked to someone like deadweight, never sure if they love you or if they just feel forced to stay. I want a guy who wants me because he just does. I want him to stay without feeling any obligation. If the doors always open for him to disappear and he never does that means a lot more than if he's got a security bracelet on his finger.
"I just agreed because I can't see myself being with anyone else anyway." That's the problem people don't give a shit about the concept of marriage and they just do it just because or because of the celebration and attention. And then divorce 5 years later.
One option is to marry a rich man, divorce, take half his money, belongings, and children. Another option is to marry him, falsely accuse him of rape, throw him in jail, and take everything he onced owned. Another option is to abuse him to the point where he snaps, attacks you, so you file an assault complaint, throw him in jail, and take everything he once owned.
Growing up, it was something I've always wanted to do. But after witnessing many marriages fall apart, including my dad's (twice), I've definitley looked at it much different.
I don't care about the wedding. I don't want to "lock him down". Its not a fantasy. I just feel it a an extra step to bring our love closer. Not sure if that makes sense. But yeah.
Ignoring the manipulative and monstrous aspect where women take half, they are indoctrinated with fairy tales, media, parents, etc where most women have imagined their perfect wedding from a very young age. It’s been tradition for a while and many people still have the mindset from it, even after the numerous changes. I only speculate from the western perspective.
Your polls for me is neither of them except other I want to get married to my boyfriend bbecause1. I want to prove my family wrong I'll be a great wife for my boyfriend 2. That is one of my dreams and etc
I’ve never badly wanted to get married, does that mean I’m not a girl? I’d never want to get married unless I met the right person, but if I did, then I’d want it because it’s a nice thing to do once you realise you want to be together long term.
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+1 y
Why wouldn’t I want his last name? But like I said, it definitely wouldn’t just be anyone.
Because it shows love and stability in the relationship. It is a romantic way to get more serious in the relationship. I don't personally think it is about anything else.
Emotional security like I want a guy who I can call my other half as corny as it sounds someone I can officialise things with and spend my entire life with man he better be awesome
Getting married doesn't prove commitment, plenty of people have said the same thing and still get divorced less than 10 years after getting married. Commitment is unconditional, not because a wedding ring, a marriage certificate, or a wedding says so.
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