Women know they don't need to put up with bullshit. Both genders very much go through abuse; however, women often experience physical abuse at a higher rate. Also, a lot of women want to be more than just a house wife expected to cook and clean, so if they feel like that's all that's expected then they may want out. There's nothing wrong with a house wife by the way; people should do what mutually works. Also, women tend to be more aware of the relationship condition, and they aren't afraid to note how they feel. I think due to social pressures more-so than nature, men can often hide from their emotions whereas a woman will assess what she is feeling, subconsciously keep track, and be open about when she has had enough. As another an anon mentioned, I'm sure some women may initiate it because they feel as though things will move a bit faster if they do so, but again, if they want to get out more than the man, then it would make sense for them to file first.
8
0 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
For starters, I'm not saying men don't face abuse, but women do face domestic abuse at a higher rate than men if you look at statistics, so that could be one of the reasons.
I know I'll piss people off with this next bit, but the court commonly caters to women. If they're unhappy in their marriage and do not feel like working on it anymore, they can go off and cheat, yet still usually get the kids, financial assets, and alimony. There's a fair amount of women who file for divorce because they know they'll be rewarded for this kind of behavior.
10
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
There are also men who think the marriage is going just great, yet the wife feels very differently and tries to just put up with it and hope things will get better until she realizes it isn't and files for divorce due to bad communication between the two.
Because women get bored after the big expensive wedding is over and then real life sets in. Why the hell should a woman have to stay tied to this loser that farts in the bed anyways? It is time to cash out and get a house paid for with lifetime support. What a deal. Hell, I would take that one myself. Only useful-idiot men that the state can transfer all of their current and future wealth deserve to have their lives crushed would get married. Yep, marriage is a suicide mission for a man. I know of faster ways they can do it than getting married.
Yes I forgot to mention women’s boredom myself. They don’t want to just watch soap operas they want to live them. Yet another reason I say they’re nothing more than children in adult bodies.
@burntgold Sorry, but I have to agree with him. Put men and women in a jungle and separate the two. Who will come out on top? Men. They made a TV show and this happened too. Not saying women are incapable but men are wired differently.
I think it might be because men are more happy with the treatment they get from their wives than woman are happy with the treatment they get from their husbands. My cousin and her husband would both hit each other during the course of their marriage and one day my cousin got tired of being hit and divorced him - she got domestic violence charges laid on him so he could not see his children or retain partial custody of them and he has been trying to convince our family to act as a go-between since he filed a restraining order against him to prevent him from contacting her either. I don't agree with the charge since she also hit him during the marriage but I don't approve of how he treated my cousin. He would hit her if she avoided interacting with the guests over at her house when she was feeling sick which I don't think is right. He just thought about how he could use her and not about how she was feeling and what she needed to make herself happy.
Very simply, because they win by default, and they win A LOT. Divorce allows them to legally clean out their husband financially, take the majority of his assets, get custody of the children (which means child support payments from him), while the man gets the old car and a studio apartment (or rents a room) in many cases, along with years of payments to her.
The other problem is what I call "Disney Syndrome" - women who have always believed that marriage will mean "happily ever after", and when she discovers that she's not completely fulfilled after being married a while (no matter WHY she's unfulfilled), she will usually blame her husband, because he's a convenient target. And as soon as she considers him to be the problem and starts talking to her friends, they will immediately start telling her why she is entitled to happiness (at his expense) and will then explain to her all the ways she can screw him over in the divorce.
I've literally seen this play out exactly this way at least half-a-dozen times with acquaintances of mine.
Of course, not all women are this way, but a great many are, or become that way over time. It's a "free ticket out" for women that men have to pay for.
Note that this is the biggest reason that so many men aren't interested in marriage anymore - it's a terrible risk for men. Any businessperson who was brought a contract that works like marriage works would laugh at that contract and tear it up, because it's so one-sided - but it's tradition and people who think romantically and not in a business sense pay no attention to it until it's too late.
Based off of the answers below, it’s obvious as to why divorce is initiated the most by women. I won’t be surprised when we hear about people being lonely and miserable a few years later from now and how they can’t find people to marry. The real question is either how does one change the laws and balance it out. Either balance will return via changes in the law or a change in society for the worst, in other words a major blowback of karma. This happened many times in history including Rome before it fell. I mean people can only handle being screwed over for so long. The word is getting out as to what marriage is about and it’s no secret. I’d be worried about the blowback. Many things could happen: Sex Robots will eventually be advanced and look real, artificial wombs allowing men to have a monopoly when it comes to having kids, economy crash (Will happen for sure) and every man for himself, invasion/WWIII and all hell breaks loose.
In all seriousness, this really is an issue and it’s a mere symptom of the main issue. I’ll just leave a link and you decide whether to view it or not.
Because nobody is taught to fix things. Women are taught If their man doesn't satisfy them in any way 'drop him, get a better one', 'millions of fish in the sea', 'you deserve happiness now, not later'.
Its a culture of instant gratification. We're not taught to work for what we have.
So why isn't it 50-50? Well in general guys put in more work to get into the relationship. A woman has more choice and needs to put in much less effort.
Once the dynamic shifts and a guy gets the girl, he can now shift his attention and energy to other areas of his life, like his career etc... This creates routine. And a woman who got pampered during the pre-relationship phase may now feel less appreciated, unloved because of that change, this leaves her wanting more. Thats also one of the reasons I think.
Finally, except losing their partner (which they may not love as much anymore because of the above reason) there's no real downsides for most women when it comes to divorce. So that instant gratification attitude is reinforced. Courts favour women in divorce cases most of the time so they have more to gain than they have to lose.
It's the usual stereotypical thing's people tends to miss.
1. Expectations versus reality doesn't add up.
2. Try to improve the other one (change) when succeeded interest and feelings flies out the window (most common amongst females).
3. Got in to the relationship of wrong reasons but think they did do it of the right reasons.
4. The heated crush flame shange to the real longterm feelings there both get comfortable and think they doesn't love anymore, it got sloppy, the other one doesn't put any effort anymore and focus on what the other one should do in the same time miss what they really are contributing with themselves or tries to rearrange attention from themselves.
5. Hidden agenda is an other there the other one doesn't serve any purpose anymore.
6. Drama queens, toxic, one way relationship, one uses the other one without really giving and get tired of the other one doesn't give anymore or the giver get tired of only be the one giving. (Most off those are most common amongst females apart of that the other one doesn't give but are most common arguments from the user that doesn't really give what is needed)
Those are the most common reasons behind the fronts why they end.
If you look at who initiates divorces in different countries, it's pretty clear that whoever gets the kids/money is much more likely to initiate.
If 50/50 physical custody and almost no child support (on the assumption both are equally responsible) is the norm, as I believe has been tried in some parts of Scandinavia, magically women file for divorce at the same rate as men.
In some parts of the world where men still keep the kids and the wife is thrown out (we're not talking the west), surprise surprise, it's all men initiating divorce.
Hmmm so many thoughts running through my head. I think as a society we are quick to give up anymore on things that should be valued and should be worth fighting for like marriage. Its always the I'm going to get to it 1st. Or how can I hurt this person the most. It's worse when children are involved. The flip side is that it could be the person has tried and tried again to seek help with marriage therapy and the other person refuses or is in denial that there is something wrong within the relationship. I also think too many people know their business so that outside influence is weighing in. Everyone needs someone to vent to but that person has to be objective and neutral otherwise they are just going to agree with whatever you say and NEVER talk to your parents about relationship problems learned that the hard way.
My wife and I married with the belief that is would be permanent. And we worked at times to make sure it was. Took a trip to a couples counselor once, but we made the choice to spend our lives together and did what we needed to do to ensure our beautiful relationship lasted.
@Red_Arrow it takes work. My husband and I have been tested for sure but that's ok. We have those moments where we are thinking the same exact thing and one of us tells the other and it just affirms were on same page and we are exactly where we are meant to be. Even after 3 years of being together we are still learning
Because they stand to gain and not loose in a divorce. That’s the number one reason. They get alimony (for life in many states) child support (which is paid to the mother and spent how she decides), the nearly automatic granting of custody of children to women, and the fact that they typically don’t make as much as men and don’t put 50% of the total income in yet get 50% of assets upon divorce... well all that’s happened is divorce is incentivized for women, plus the fact they typically lack principal and character and make most decisions via emotional and relational reasoning and add in hypergamy and that’s why. So basically you have children in adults bodies (women) able to fleece their husbands children and assets from him and coupled with a natural desire to always look for and couple with whomever they think will give them grater security than who they’re currently with and that’s the answer to the question.
Women have everything to gain, nothing to lose. Only men get socially and financially destroyed due to a divorce. Therefore why would any man put a gun to head and pull the trigger knowing what is going to happen.
Men seem more okay living in a bad situation than women are. The marriage is usually broken but guys are more willing to just live in a broken marriage than women are.
I think men are just also afraid to go back out into the single life because they feel less value as they are the chaser rather than the chased and that's hard on self-esteem so I think guys are just afraid of that. Guys also know they won't have much in the way of a support network and they see divorce as something they have to suffer on alone. Most women usually have some kind of network to help them through a divorce so they don't see divorce as something they will have to go through alone.
In a survey of 2,262 adults in heterosexual partnerships over the course of five years, Rosenfeld found that women initiate divorces 69 percent of the time. On the whole, they also reported less satisfaction with their marriages than men.
First, can you please provide a link to a reliable source to back your claim.
But in general, I think women initiate more divorces than we once did because we are now less likely to be tethered to the marriage for financial reasons.
In my experience, most people I know who have gotten divorced have reached the decision mutually.
But I am interested in seeing your sources for the statistic you gave.
Because women are incapable of being happily monogamous. The pathological drive of hypergamy will always rear its ugly head and push the woman to seek better conditions than the ones that are already available to her.
For the girls disagreeing, my opinion that women are usually harder to please is based on thousands and thousands of clients I've worked with. I've noticed it reoccur time and time again. Women have been much more demanding and much more likely to complain. I'm not saying all of you are that way of course.
I think a lot of women like the idea of the wedding and give no thought to the marraige. I also think a lot of women that initiate divorce put too much expectation on the men they marry without considering what they themselves bring to the table.
Because the divorce laws favor women. She can cheat and empty the bank accounts and still be entitled to at least half of everything remaining, probably custody of the kids unless she's a crack addict, and a chunk of his future earnings.
More men drink and smoke weed and it could cause problems. Most likely women file for divorces more because they could be getting physically abused or verbally abused. Since men are stronger (physically) than women, it's a good chance.
I would think verbal abuse would be more common from women.
According to the national domestic violence hotline, men are sightly more likely to experience psychological aggression at 48.8% compared to 48.4% of women.
We can also say that men are much less likely to report anything from domestic accuse to health issues to a doctor. We are more stoic. I've been hit and I didn't think much more of it than she was really angry. Few guys will report that. Very few. They would likely have to be hurt torwards needing medical help for it to be reported.
Most Helpful Opinions