Why do men act like marriage is a death sentence?

[Anonymous]

OK. Am I the only one that gets offended or find it insulting when men act like getting married only happens when they "surrender" and have nothing else left to do and want kids so "I guess I should get married". Why do men act like they don't want it to. No man wants to be the old guy and the club, lets be real ! So why do men act like marriage is so bad.

Updates

+1 y

Why make women feel so horrible regarding what they want when in actuality most men want the same thing too. What if women told you they love sex with you but then in public made jokes about you that we hate sex with you lol

Updates

+1 y

The responses I am getting from men prove my point.The male marriage supporters never say anything like its against the male code lol.Its also never really about marriage,its fear of women taking your assets as if they can't do that not married lol.

Updates

+1 y

Part of the issue is that men only care for sacrafice from their end.That sacrafice is obvious.However married or not the female sacrafice still exist,.

[ericneo]

Marriage is all good when it works but now days with the ease and benifits of divorce for women and the increase in female promiscuity and not knowing what the words "TILL DEATH DO YOU PART" mean, it's has turned in to a really bad and sour deal for a guy.

In Marriage a woman can claim abuse and have the man sentenced without evidence.

In Divorce a woman gets the following:

Her income and half her partners income in the form of alimony based on how long they were together, in addition to that she gets to stay in the house and the ex husband has to leave until she finds another place or sells the house for her equal ownership value in cash. If they have been together for 10 years then the male has to pay half his retirement fund to her and 50% of whatever he makes until he drops dead. As long as the woman doesn't re marry she will continue to get alimony which means she can get another partner and live as a family unit with her children and new partner funded by her ex husband.

When it comes to children the woman gets priority over the man in keeping the children which almost always happens because of the child support money the woman gets. Which they also always take. Just because it's child support doesn't mean the woman has to spend it feeding the child. There have been a few cases where the woman had left their child to starve to death whilst spending the money on themselves, but these were not enough to bring around forced itemization where the mother has to show reciepts of the money being spent on the child.

Child support is years of payments per child until an agreed upon age which may include college and must allow for the childs life style to go uninterupted same with alimony. These payments are based on the total yearly income of the ex husband before tax and alimony.

When it comes to visitation rights for children mothers are prioitized and fathers are ignored, in addition to that the woman gets to state the terms, times and conditions of the father being allowed to see his children. In many cases the mother can refuse the father the right to see his children and the courts will do nothing to help the father. In a case a few years ago a mother had put her children up for adoption without informing their father whilst still collecting child support. Sadly the father found out too late and was not allowed his children back because the time period for him to object had past without him knowing.

And you wonder still knowing all this why men don't want to get married?

[Asker]

If that were true then I would agree but most of it is not.Your first point on divorce is usually only if the woman didn't work.Men think its OK for a woman to be a housewife while they make the money and then when they separate though this woman dedicated herself to working in the home that she is supposed to walk away with nothing,even though she ironed the clothes you wore to work everyday and took care of your kids.2nd point lets be honest men usually don't want to the kids full-time !

[Asker]

3rd point, you expect women to take care of the kids yet not pay anything when if she was a housewife means she's been out the workforce for some time and is magiacally supposed to get a job paying something decen enough for your kids to live on. 4th point the mother can't just refuse fathers rights to see kids with no reason and my last point.."Which of your points can be avoided by not getting married?"This can all still happen with a girlfriend, except maybe the first one if not commonlaw state

[ericneo]

Wow your come backs are horribly thought out, and it shows.

Your first come back is wrong it is done by assets, income, and contribution to the family home.

Your second come back is wrong and shows your ignorance, most men fight for their kids.

Your third come back is assuming she doesn't work, most women now days work and send kids to day care, school, after school care.

Your forth come back is ignorant again, this is a very common situation single fathers have to deal with.

[ericneo]

Here's some light reading

link

link

and most recently a court case involving child support

link

[Asker]

Like I said, in every point you made there are examples of women that took advantage of the system and there are cases of men that took advantage of the system. My question is why blame it on marriage as a whole when these things can happen not married.Some people drive a car recklessly and some people are great drivers does that mean that because of the bad ones that cars are bad, no. That's my only point.

[ericneo]

You asked Why do men act like marriage is a death sentence? I gave you the answer, don't try to change the subject, stay on topic.

Two thirds of all marriages go through divorce which are initiated by women, who when the opportunity rises to take advantage of the system, do so everytime.

You may want to believe it isn't that way things are but it is the reality for many, if you want to preach otherwise back it up with proof.

[Asker]

I am not trying to change the subject, I am agreeing with you. In addition I am saying that I could pull articles of women being injusticed in the system.My whole point is that its not one sided enough to say that because people have done certain things then that makes MARRIAGE bad.It makes SOME of the people that have used marriage for personal gain bad.So why do men act like its marriage when these things happen not married?

[Asker]

Well convo from my end is over.Be an adult.There is never a need to insult someone cause an opinion is different than yours.I didn't disrespect you dispite your opinion and I expect the same back.You'd rather be right than see when someone is agreeing with you lol.I agree with you on some points however you fail to acknowledge that women also get the short end of the stick in more than money,our age is a timeline,we usually end up with the kids,etc. but thanks for your opinion minus the insults.

[ericneo]

You are trying to change the subject, we are answering reasons relating to marriage for men not single women or single men co habiting.

*SOME* is not used when the figures show over 50% the word *MOST* is. 2/3 is 66% so Most or the majority but it is not *SOME*.

I would like you to post those articles of injustice to women in divorce courts here is fine.

You claim it's not one sided but if you bothered to read those published articles you would have seen that many think it's one sided.

[ericneo]

Be an adult. Well that comming from you is rich. ego much?

You never once provided evidence to back up what you were saying.

Sorry missy but I won't stand for you preaching BS as fact, I will pull you up on it.

[Asker]

Good luck to you.This website is for fun nothing I asked is that serious ! You won't stand for me "preaching to you" but I am suppossed to stand for you calling me ignorant because I have a different opinion than you.Nothing about my question is this serious for you to be so angry.I'm not going to sit here and post links for evidence lol, I didn't come on here to do homework just as a simple question for productive answers.You had great points but the insults aren't necessary.Good luck again.

[ericneo]

Read the whole sentence don't pick and choose selective parts and warp them to your way of thinking, I said you were preaching BS, which happens to have supporting facts proving you otherwise. If you tell people that in your opinion they can breath normally under the sea doesn't make it so.

I called you out and pointed out that you are ignorant because you answers showed that you had no clue what you were talking about. You even show in your post that you have no desire to inform yourself.

[Asker]

Well you have picked and chosen selective parts.I didn't say your assets,income and contribution model for alimony is wrong,that is correct what I was objecting to was from my point of view so I was referring to housewives.My 2nd point you ar trying to tell me that majority of men want their kids full-time, yeah right on that one.My 3rd is also from the point of view of a housewife and my last point is that women don't just roll in to court and say "I don't want my kids to see their father"

[Asker]

and the court is just going to do it.If you are trying to tell me that women (housewives) haven't been wronged for years then youve got to be kidding me.Men didn't complain when the courts ruled against women back in history and you didn't see women coming up with prenups.My point with you is that you can't seem to have a conversation without calling someone names when its not necessary.You have changed my mind about any of my points of view I just don't want to talk to YOU any longer lol becaus

[Asker]

you can even have a regualr conversation without calling people names.Stats go both ways, that's why there are lawyers, anyone can pull articles and stats to support their argument.All I asked for was a personal opininon not a dissertation or verbal abuse.There is nothing even that serious about this topic to call anyone ignorant and I am positive that you don't want to line up your education to mine.Like I said, I wish you luck and chill out a little this site is supposed to be fun dude lol !

[ericneo]

Well you have picked and chosen selective parts.

Really then show them parts copy and paste them.

I didn't say your assets,income and contribution model for alimony is wrong,

Missy you have lost the plot we weren't talking about that.

My 2nd point you ar trying to tell me that majority of men want their kids full-time, yeah right on that one.

Wow arrogant and ignorant, go find out as see how wrong you are, but you won't.

[ericneo]

Today most women are not housewives, most work full time, get that through and into your head.

You should go back to school and learn english Missy

ig?no?rant Adjective: Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated; lacking information, or awareness about something in particular.



ar?ro?gant Adjective: Having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities. Example "a typically arrogant assumption."

[ericneo]

Here's some more english definitions of the word

Ignorant

Having the lack of knowledge, or background/factual information of a particular thing in general. However, the effect in which this person will be proceeding with their "unproven knowledge" imbedded in their mind as if factual information, they, in turn, will plan on using it in the future to make false and incorrect statements based on what they didn't know about the particular thing, or may have heard as a majority of votes for.

[Asker]

lol I have admit you are making this fun.You are good at researching and quoting things.Good job so proud of you.Anywho back to my question.After all you have said, still no point to why men treat MARRIAGE as a death sentence when the results you are referring to can happen even if not married.Marriage is automatically associated when it sounds like you have a prob with women in general, child support cases aren't only from marriages and whose perspective should I write from other than my own.

[ericneo]

I already answered your question ("Why do men act like marriage is a death sentence?") with a very detailed answer with my first post so go read it.

[Asker]

No you answered the question "Why don't men get a fair shake in court versus women?". Your response other than the alimony is not marriage specific and happens between two single people every day, so I don't see why you automatically associate that to marriage.Your opinions are one-sided.Women werent even equal opportunity for decades and have been wronged.Men like you didn't complain or show concern for women then when everything in the courts was in your favor.I don't think either is right.

[Asker]

but don't try to act like the court system pertaining to marriage is all of a sudden unjust.Its been unjust for a long time just used to always be in the favor of men, oh wait that's if women could even file in court against their husband as in the past we couldn't even do that women were considered like property.Like I said neither is right but neither should make someone say MARRIAGE is so bad because of either sides misuse of the system.

[ericneo]

"Why don't men get a fair shake in court versus women?". I didn't answer that, you just made it up. pressing ctrl+f and searching for it reveals that you are the one who made that one up.

"so I don't see why you automatically associate that to marriage" Well that's your problem then not mine, if you don't understand or as shown are ignorant as to why men associate these with marriage then you should ask a question on here and further research it yourself.

[ericneo]

but don't come here with your ignorance and claim it as fact.

[Asker]

lol you're funny.I wasn't saying that was the actually question you answered.You actually control F to find it lol.Dude, you're way too serious.I was saying that based on your answer you might as well have been answering another question lol.You're hilarious.Really you do need to relax a little, life isn't that serious.You made no comment to what I said about the many years that women have been wronged and I am actually trying to get behind the question to find out why men automatically relate

[Asker]

the topics you brought up to marriage but based on your "Ctrl F" attempt I now realize that you are not a subjective thinker and quite explains most of your dialogue.So I get and understand your points and I thank you for your opinion and giving as much to the conversation as you were able to offer.Thanks again, cause what you to did get across to me that though the points you raised are obvious, the anger behind these thoughts are more in depth than I hoped for.Guess I'm just a hopeless romantic

[jcmrq]

Ericneo is right no the money. I do think marriage is a bad deal for MOST men, since they will end up loosing the children, their property and an important part of their income for a long time. I have seen many stories of guys who lost everything because of their ex-wifes, I have never seen a story of a woman who was screwed by a divorce. Women always win on divorce cases.

[Red-Pill-Truth]

Fact is, for many men it is.

Divorce rates are skyhigh, and men have everything to lose - And they do.
It's a 50/50 gamble that the woman you're marrying isn't among the 75% of women who instigate divorce.

Men lose their houses, their money, their kids, are left emotionally and financially crippled, all because peach had a mental breakdown or was just outright bored, and decides to go back riding the carousel.

If a man quits - He pays.
If a woman quits - He pays.

Pre-nups are worth diddly squat, and many men are driven to suicide, only to have a vicious bitch smirking to herself 'Gotcha, motherfucker'.
It's the main reason suicide rates are so much higher for men.

Nothing brings a woman greater satisfaction, than running a man deeply into the ground, to the point he'll rather die.

This is not made up shit - These are facts; and it happens every day.

And since marriage no longer carries any benefits to men, a man would have to be incredibly stupid, or incredibly blue pill, to get married.

For 'better or for worse', has become 'until something better comes along'.
Studies have shown that at least half of all married women has a back-up guy on the back burner.
Studies show that women are the more likely to cheat.
And of course the obvious: Women want the titles as 'bride', 'wife' and 'mother'... they just don't want to put in the actual effort, since caring for a family have been labeled 'oppressive' by the Marxist left.
And women tend to suck up the bullshit, because it caters to their sense of victimhood and vulnerability.

[MysterE924]

I agree with your response. I watched my Dad and Uncle lose everything through divorce and then saw my Mom and Aunt blow the cash prizes they got from them. On top of that, I've learned to cook from scratch, clean, iron and handle all the outdoor maintenance on my home myself. Sex isn't worth bringing a woman into your life.

[38rakia38]

I don't know about death sentence.

Most of my cousins and my older sister are married and quite happily so. Some of them even have a few children.

My sister's husband has never acted like being married was a death sentence, if anything. Yeah with divorce rates being what the are, and from personal experience (being a child of divorce myself) I can see why men aren't so eager to marry women anymore.

Back in the "good old days" when people hardly got divorced, it's because it was frowned upon. Hell in some countries it's still frowned upon. Because women in those countries and men in those countries worry more about their reputation in society as "partners", if they got divorced, the community would speculate and the last thing the couple wants is it becoming a public affair.

My mother divorced my dad and seriously, hijacked his fiances like no one's business. She lied, she stole, and she whined the whole way for cash (because of addiction reasons, I won't go into it) which she pissed away on herself. Child support was basically her fun money.

So I can see why men would think that women would be after money when it comes to splitting up. Because it happens a lot. In real life and in media.

Truth is, in this day and age, you're more likely to get divorced anyway because if you do, there's always someone else. Why marry in that case.

Hell, I'm all for a domestic partnership or a marriage under common law.

Just because you don't get the stupid certificate and the whole bru-haha that is getting married doesn't mean men fear being married.

Besides, it's cheaper to just cut out the whole wedding anyway, get married by a judge and jump on a plane to Margaritaville and f*** like rabbits the whole night.

[Asker]

I agree regarding the perception of marriage.I am a product of divorced parents as well and I still don't blame it on "marriage" itself it was just those 2 people.What I am challenging is that the "new man's" bright idea to not get married so they can avoid this doesn't work,there's still custody,child support to deal with.I just think tis funny that women endured decades of injustice on the oppossite side of the winning table and women didn't start prenups and stop getting married but now its them

[Asker]

losing court cases now marriage is the problem lol.And even if for every 2 women that are doing wrong their is actually a woman that is getting justice from actually being compensated for her part in the marriage.

[38rakia38]

I think somewhere there's plenty of men willing to support their children with child support, divorces are costly anyway, so one might as well just get separated. Plus the court system (in my experience) favors the mother over the father, in my case, my mother forfeited time for $$$. But that was decided between them and not the court. But I don't think all men or a majority have a fear of marriage, times are just a wee bit different is all.

[toulouse]

not all women want marriage either. men are not insulting ALL women by not getting married. YOU however are by sating ALL women want marriage & ALL women are offended by men not wanting to be with them. You make women sound pathetic, and I would be a hypocrite to get bothered by it, so I wont. I am just informing you. It is best if you speak for yourself.

As far as I am concerned, its immature for anyone to demand someone want to get married. It is even more absurd for someone to get married just because they are supposed to or because they are bored. And no person has to be the old person at a club. I don't even go to clubs.

Not everyone lives in cosmo magazine. some people do other things then date f*** get married and make dinner go to the office gain weight & blame everyone else because their life sucks.

jut don't marry a guy who is making you feel like you are forcing him to do something because its complete bullsh*t. it I his choice to get married or not get married it is your choice to marry guy who respects you and your marriage, instead f whining and try to change a guy clearly does not have the same values as you.

find a guy who respects you instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing in their home. You won't find any universal solution here. A lot of people don't see the point of marriage. There s no right or wrong, Its just life.

If you want to marry fond a guy who genuinely wants to marry.

You can't force people to want to marry & if you force them against their will, well, that would account for all the abuse, divorce, alcoholism-- found in marriages.

You know what they call it when everyone HAS (compulsory) to do the same thing in a society?

[lillianAngie]

I think it's the same thing as "peer pressure" that made them smoke and try drugs.

They might think it's awesome to have a family and would love to be a proud daddy. But an immature part of them wouldn't admit to it.

[Asker]

and the court is just going to do it.If you are trying to tell me that women (housewives) haven't been wronged for years then youve got to be kidding me.Men didn't complain when the courts ruled against women back in history and you didn't see women coming up with prenups.My point with you is that you can't seem to have a conversation without calling someone names when its not necessary.You have changed my mind about any of my points of view I just don't want to talk to YOU any longer lol because you

[Asker]

you can even have a regualr conversation without calling people names.Stats go both ways, that's why there are lawyers, anyone can pull articles and stats to support their argument.All I asked for was a personal opininon not a dissertation or verbal abuse.There is nothing even that serious about this topic to call anyone ignorant and I am positive that you don't want to line up your education to mine.Like I said, I wish you luck and chill out a little this site is supposed to be fun dude lol !

[Asker]

My apologies. These comments were meant for someone else lol

[True-King-Gremory]

"But an immature part of them wouldn't admit to it."
>calls men immature if they don't do what you want them to do
>wonder why men don't want to get married

[True-King-Gremory]

". If you are trying to tell me that women (housewives) haven't been wronged for years then youve got to be kidding me."
When a divorce happens, a man was forced to pay alimony for the rest of his life, what did a woman ever lose or been wrong in a marriage?
"Men didn't complain when the courts ruled against women back in history and you didn't see women coming up with prenups."
Why does the woman need a prenup when the man is the one forced to pay alimony for the rest of his life? you make no fucking sense. What does a woman lose in a divorce? What has a woman ever lost in a divorce?

[MandMandM]

Why should you find this insulting? It is nothing to do with any particular woman, it is the institution as a whole that doesn't work. Lots of guys will make an informed choice not to take those risks. "It might work out ok" is completely insufficient assurance.

It is absolutely nothing to do with the patronising cr@p about peer pressure in the ridiculous "best" answer.

Your conduct towards each other and your kids is all that matters, not somebody else's idea of how things should be formalised between you all.

[Asker]

I think men see marriage in a bad light due to fear not marriage itself.The same things that men are afraid still happen unmarried with the exception of alimony.Child support,custody, etc all happen everyday single, couple, married, so I don't get why these things are automatically associated with marriage.Also,women have been wronged in marriage decades longer than men in the years past only now do men have a problem with marriage now courts actually honor a womans contribution to the home.

[MandMandM]

> due to fear not marriage itself

Agreed marriage is fine. Abuse of marriage by either gender is not.

> The same things still happen unmarried with the exception of alimony

No (at least under UK legislation) the risks are significantly greater than maintenance.

> Child support, custody

Entirely reasonable measures because the child is incapable of self support and didn't ask to be brought into the situation. I'm clear about the differences between this and abuse of marriage.

[MandMandM]

> women have been wronged in marriage for decades

Women have been wronged for millenia on matters in and unrelated to marriage (suffrage, right to property etc). None of this is right, but none of it justifies male subjagation now either.

Many men work for equality of opportunity (I do it through D&I at work, through bringing female role models to schools, and through pushing my daughters not to accept male limitations or cr@p).

[MandMandM]

> honor a womans contribution to the home

If that were the extent of the obligation nobody could object. I do not patronise on this as a widower single dad well aware of how much a home maker does.

The detachment of rights and obligations is the breakdown. Marriage is peverted by courts into a situation where my family's home, a large chunk of our income, our savings and retirement funds built up over years a new bride had nothing to do with, are forfeit on the church steps at her whim.

[Asker]

I completely agree.What I don't get is that since we all know this why do men treat the instituion of marriage as the enemy.I don't think the resolution is for people to just not get married anymore.This site has definitely raised my awareness because my question was really targeted for men that agree with marriage to say why they deny it ipublicly+make fun of it around their friends and I found its worse they don't even speak up.Ive only heard from men who seem to hate marriage.

[MandMandM]

> Agree.What I don't get is that since we all know this why do men treat marriage as the enemy?

Because it is one of three necessary elements for them to be abused. They can't do a lot about the second ie the courts once subject to them and don't want to take responsibility for the third (misjudging the partner who turns out to be abusive).

Easiest to blame marriage as a whole. And the simplest insurance against the potential misjudgement is not to bind yourself to courts via marriage.

[MandMandM]

> I don't think the resolution is just not get married anymore

No but if most of the benefits of marriage are available to men without it, you do see why they opt for those benefits at lower risk?

> I've only heard from men who seem to hate marriage.

You have absolutely misheard me then. I think it is great. It does rather hinge on judging your partner's personality correctly first though.

[MandMandM]

> I wanted men that agree with marriage to say why they deny it +make fun of it

I wouldn't, but this might be an ages and stages thing. What you may have heard and been taking too seriously is mild humour like they could keep playing the field forever, and would always prefer this. The evidence is of course strongly that they are just as happy as most women with the idea of settling down eventually.

How could you get so wound up about such self evident nonsense from them?

[Asker]

Well the reason I'm frustrated is because whether men want to say it or not the behavior has facilitated a bunch of boys that from young based on comments and jokes put off marriage for as long as they can like its the plague lol.If getting married was cool and talked abot differently men would be real about it.I know guys that aren't getting any and still don't want to get married lmbo so its not even about playing the field for most cause they still don't lol. It's like lets say you have a wife

[Asker]

and she tells you to your face that she loves your a** but then she gets in public and people are making fun of them and she doesn't say anything or worse joins in and not just once but every time she gets together with her girls, or what if it was about you sexual performance maybe a man would care if it was that lol. Its just annoying and frustrating lol. Don't get me wrong I don't walk around everyday fthinking of this just a question I thought of for men's opinion.

[Quadrophonic84]

Men love freedom. It's a huge part of what makes us feel comfortable and secure, knowing we can do what we want when we want to. If a guy says, "OK I will give that up to build a single life that we both lead together" then it's an incredibly deep and loving step he's making for that woman. But that doesn't mean he's not going to mind losing his former lifestyle. Change is difficult for everyone, even women. A lot of us just have a dark sense of humor too. I fall into that category.

[Asker]

So does getting married and having a family makes most men comfortable and secure when you get to that phase of your life.I have met men that want marriage more than me and have brought up the marriage convo to me and one guy even had his wedding planned in detail of what he wanted yet to other people men treat it as something they are doing reluctantly, or like they are being forced.Guess I see it differently.

[Quadrophonic84]

A lot of guys do reach that point and mature to a stage where they want to have a family. A lot of guys don't. Right now I don't see myself getting married, but I have no problem being in a monogamous relationship. I just wouldn't trust any woman with total access to my assets should she decide to divorce me. I guess that's what prenups are for.

Everyone's different. The last girl I dated was a total commitment-phobe and said she could never see herself getting married.

[Asker]

Actually thank you for your honesty because when it boils down to it that's the reason I thnk most men say that. They are more afraid of their wife getting any of what they have than actually marriage itself and marriage gets a bad wrap because of that and I think that's because of both women and mens fault. Some women are out just to get money but some men don't want to compensate a woman that dedicated her life to him and the home and kids to help him make the money.

[Asker]

Mrriage is scary for women too.I have a good career but when I have kids I want to be a housewife til they go to shcool so I have to take the risk that I will be out of the workforce for quite some time depending on how many kids and that my husband won't leave me and have great lawyers that I walk away with nothing for me or our kids.Men have private accounts and offshore accounts and rental properties in their business etc to trick women as well.Cute pic by the way!Thanks for your opinion

[Quadrophonic84]

Well, speaking personally, I would never let any child of mine go wanting for anything. As far as compensating the mother, I have a lot of sympathy for homemakers who give up a professional career for their families. My mom did that and I'm so glad I had a stay at home mom. Sadly there are cases of women who marry men after they make their money and don't bear them children who end up getting huge sums of money. Look at Paul and Heather Mills McCartney. $60 million. He had good lawyers too.

[Asker]

lol I hear you on that one.I think that believe it or not a lot of women see the obvious sacrafice for men so marriage has been branded bad.However when times wern't like this in history and women were getting the short end of the stick, men had no problem with marriage then lol.I personally feel like the romantism of marriage is gone, now its like a business deal.When women get the raw end we didn't come back with prenups saying if we stay home and you leave then we get xyz, maybe we should have

[toosexualcat]

As a girl on that side of the coin I can tell you one thing. Marriage is HELLA scary! It comes with so much responsibility! I rather run than do it, to be honest. It means being intimate with someone else, it means sharing everything, it means breaking down walls and being super vulnerable. Oh I know, such horrible things...

But seriously, it is. It's a scariness with no comparison. Nevermind the if we get divorced she gets half anyway even if she didn't' deserve it!

I told the boyfriend I want nothing from him, just him. If we got married and then divorced, I wouldn't take anything that wasn't mine. I don't need to...

but a lot of girls aren't like me...they want to take him for what he's worth, doesn't matter why or what...they feel entitled to his stuff which is now 'their' stuff.

I love the boyfriend, I do! But marry him? god... I just got cold sweat! It's too much to handle for a girl with intimacy issues...

[DirtyDlish]

succubus leave us alone. I think if I don't ask please don't ask me. I don't believe in church or state so why do I have to go to them to profess my love. Its bullsh*t to me. That's why I'm scared. Cause I you came at me with that I would wonder why you don't know me enough to leave me alone with that crap.

[Asker]

I always wonder why when it comes to marriage now making things legal is now an issue.Would you not sign the birth certificate of your child too because you don't need to profess that its your son?Did you not get a drivers license because you don't need state saying when you can and can't drive?How'd you feel if your daughter came home and told you that her boyfriend told her what you are saying would you accept your theory then?(cause your child will be more open to that since that's all she knows.

[DirtyDlish]

its a choice duh you have to do all those other things you don't have to get married.

[Asker]

Actually the birth certificate is an identical comparison to marriage.You don't have to sign it! Doesn't mean you're not the father you just have no paperwork to prove it.So if unexpectedly, which is how it usually is,something happens to you there could be an issue proving paternity.Same with marriage,if something happens to you your estate goes to state not your "girlfriend" or your kids without a fight.People don't realize that marriage is a legal institution for a reason.So your choice to not

[Asker]

make it legal has worse concequences than the legal laws you choose to do.You want to save giving half your money to a woman so you loose it all to the government and possibly risk leaving nothing for your kids.Like it or not there are laws in place for married people.Marriage is not just a love thing but also a responsiblity to setting up a foundation for your family.People don't see that.What is your response to if your daughter met a guy with your views?Is that what you'd WANT for her?

[DirtyDlish]

listen I have exemptions for me a my kids for shots we don't go to church and I don't put much in our system. So when I hear the word marriage. I think institution. Me being agnostic, I don't need all the justifications for how I live, its a burden to me. I have inalienable right as a human to live as I please without stipulation.

[Asker]

Thats a great point that I never considered. It is good to know that you are doing something that is just right for you but that you do not necessarily say marriage is bad, if that's what you're saying, even though you feel its not right for you. That's cool. Most people just say that the idea is marriage is bad period. I guess I just wish that the men that were for marriage would speak up more.So far all the men that have responded hate marriage lol.

[DirtyDlish]

well thank you

[Anonymous]

Most guys want to sleep with as many women as possible before they die. Marriage will considerably limit that number, even if there is a divorce. The cost of living has also skyrocketed, so there is more pressure for a married man nowadays to bring home the bacon, especially if the wife does not work or makes a very small amount of money.

I don't understand why so many women are desperate to get married though. I guess it must be biologically ingrained in them to want to have children, and no one wants to raise a family by herself.

[Asker]

I actually disagree.Most men once they reach a certain age or even status in their career want to be married and have a family.They really don't want to be 50 still in the club.Ive met men that want marriage more than women and I know men that are afraid of diseases and babies that try to have more sex with less women aka relationships even if they don't want to call it that lol.You are right about desperation for women,unfortunately we have an expiration date for kids and men don't get that either

[MandMandM]

> men don't get that either

Drivel.

[Opinion Owner]

@MandMandM: ha. Too bad for you, some of us women know the truth.

[Shaun]

The drivel being that men know that women expire when it comes to having children.

[Opinion Owner]

Only if the women with children let themselves go after...but if you think about it biologically women are done after they reproduce, so really why do you need to keep attracting men if you've done your job, so to speak? That's what's cruel about the whole pregnancy thing. Unfortunately, mothers are still women, so of course they still want sex and a relationship, even if there's loose skin and a couple extra pounds on them. :-/

[westman74]

okay simple answer... peter pan dies... and mr brady takes his place... :) you give up all the joys of be wild and free to become a grown up. Most men don't hate it... Anymore than women do.. But it's a trade off... Like leaving school and getting a job it's a turning point... I mean we all wish we could go back to school or be a kid again... Same thing... Don't read too much into it... Men are way easier to figure out then you think.. :)

[GingerGuy]

It definitely benefits the woman more than the guy. Especially if it end in divorce, and the divorce rate is the highest it's ever been. Things also tend to change after marriage, less sex, less communication, life and kids get in the way etc. Not always of course, but generally speaking.

[Milesdavis2998]

So... I've been happily married for over 10 years. Looking back, I regret nearly every second of it.

Sorry this is months late. I'm curious how you feel about it now.

[Anonymous]

Its because the night after she becomes a nagger, puts on weight, and is always too tired for having sex.

[Anonymous]

I was always against the idea of marriage but I can honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with the girl I'm with now. And if marriage is what it'll take then I think I would.

[Asker]

Unfortunately this is kind of what I mean.It's like you're surrending because its what "she" wants as if you wouldn't if she didn't require it.Divorce rates are high but would you actually be OK introducing the same woman as your girlfriend for the rest of your life even if she allowed it?All the reasons men think they are preventing from making it legal are the same reasons you should want it.A man not wanting to be tied down by paper also makes it easier for her to just walk away too.

[MandMandM]

@ QA > would you actually be OK introducing the same woman as your girlfriend for the rest of your life

Absolutely. It is about how you treat each other, not about whether some state or religion sanctions your union.

[Asker]

MandMandM.Its about setting up a foundation for your fam.Marriage is legally upheld like it or not,God forbid,something happened to you today your family would have claim to your assets.Try that not married(even with Will your family may still have to fight to claim).Its like saying why sign birth certificate of my kid to prove to the government that I'm the father(you'd don't HAVE to sign a birth certificate so why do you?)Would you be OK if your daughter came home with guy that won't marry her?

[Anonymous]

i have the exact opposite problem with my boyfriend.

3 months into the relationship and he's already joking about us getting married :(

[Asker]

Yeah that's not the oppossite.That is the worst kind of the what I am referring to.I had a boyfriend that did the same thing.The ones that bring it up to you but to other people and their friends still make it seem like its not their idea and if another guy makes jokes about marriage he will still laugh and not speak up that he wants to be married or enjoys married life, its like a code they have to act like they don't want to be married when they are around each other lol.

[arashmenalagha]

it's not that bad, at least for some guys it's not. I like it personally. if the women have something good to offer.

[lee-cooper]

umm no its not a death sentence, its a life sentence

[Prayerwood]

I'd like to meet the guy who invented sex, if only to find out if he is married.

[Broken719]

beacuse it takes the broad horizon they have and makes it very narrow and time consuming to get out off its as simple as that

[HorneyDave]

I'm 43 and been happily married for 13 years. I think my wife is great.

[Asker]

Yes, finally. When I thought ALL hope was gone lol. I have a follo-up question and I hope you don't mind but do make married jokes with your friends? like the ole ball and chain jokes or make statements like you getting married was you surrendering lol (just saying some of the ones I've heard)

[Anonymous]

If you find out your living with a deadly disease have a bunch of kids and your wife doesn't see the importance of living a healthy lifestyle it's a death sentence. No way around it even if you get divorced your still done for

[Juliana7]

You're not alone!