Is it better to go with us safe choice for a relationship or marriage or is it better to be in love with someone?

[Justneedtokno]

Nowadays everyone is marrying for love. But back then grandmothers age Women and Married for safety, security, arrange marriage and other prehistoric reasons.

And no I’m not a feminist but I do have a hopeless romantic idea

[Alyssa11]

I don't think there's any such thing as being 'safe' in a relationship, because no relationship is perfect and nobody is perfect. There will always be hard times.

But I do think you can be wise about who you choose to like and be with. That comes from a whole list of concepts like having high self esteem and confidence, loving yourself enough and to love someone who is a reflection of you etc. Then you can pick someone who despite everything, will make you feel 'safe'.

If a relationship doesn't feel 'safe', then it's not healthy. And being in an unhealthy relationship is emotionally and physically draining - it will only go downhill from there.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Without love you really can't have safety and security... Someone who doesn't really love you isn't really going to care about your safety or security...

[Justneedtokno]

Well I’m saying if they really love you but you don’t really love them. Eventually you may love them but not in the present moment

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for mh..
And both men and women deserve love safety and security not just women... Noone deserves to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love them

[Lazi-boi]

The issue is the word "love" is way too restrictive in describing the emotions that are going on

The "love" you feel going on a drug fuled weekend with a celebrity will be different to the "love" you feel raising a family in a loving environment with a stable husband

It depends what you want, and it's your life to live, but just make sure you know that there are two people to the equation and guys are wising up to women that want to have it all

You might not be able to get both, or you may luck out, but the reality is that most of us will need to choose what kind of "love" we want

[Justneedtokno]

So it seems like you’re saying it’s better to be loved then to be in love

[Lazi-boi]

No, I'm saying there are different kinds of "love" and the English language just labels everything under one thing.

The mix of emotions you call "love" will not be the same as someone else's.

Imagine if instead of having names for different drugs, we would just put them under one label when describing their experience. LSD would be labeled the same as cocaine and etc

Love is just a word that is way too vague

[Justneedtokno]

Well I’m saying if they really love you but you don’t really love them. Eventually you may love them but not in the present moment

[Jamie05rhs]

Marrying someone you aren't in love with is NOT a safe choice!

[Justneedtokno]

Well I’m saying if they really love you but you don’t really love them. Eventually you may love them but not in the present moment

[Jamie05rhs]

@Justneedtokno Honey, if you don't love him, don't marry him! Period!

[Jamie05rhs]

But you can certainly date him and give yourself a chance to fall in love with him, if you want to.
There's no rule that says you have to be in love with someone before even going on the first date.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Xitomyth]

The two ideas are not exclusive, you can marry for love with a smart choice. It's up to you, what do want in a marriage partner? Will that be someone you love? Will they be good for you?

[TheBootyChest]

I would totally want to do those things with a girl. And maybe in a few days/weeks look to see if she is interested in having sex or just foreplay.

[ForgottenFuRyan]

Women file 80% of divorces. Don't be her golden parachute.

[Justneedtokno]

You always need a rainy day fund right

[ForgottenFuRyan]

You're not going to be a man's rainy day fund. Marriage, cohabitation, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces and get custody and alimony in 90% of cases. Kick rocks.

[Justneedtokno]

Well why does it always say that guys end up with a girl that are just convenient with not the actual one they want it

[legalboxers]

love is always the better option

[Gwenhwyfar]

Better to be in love