My boyfriend wants to postpone wedding a year, should I be worried?

Question

My man and I have enjoyed a beautiful relationship we feel equally yoked and had been dating for marriage from the start. We are both very spiritual and religious as well. And so as we felt things moving very deliberately toward marriage we prayed about it both felt very strongly that we are right for each other. We had started to kind of plan and settled on and agreed on the month of March but hadn’t picked an official date yet.

Tonight however he told me that he wants to postpone matrimony for another year until he graduates trade school and says that he loves me but he doesn’t feel ready to be married.

I would be lying if I said I’m not pretty heartbroken over it. I’ve been so excited and making plans and my sisters went with me to try on dresses and everything and now it feels like it’s never going to happen. I love him so much and I’m devastated. I can't help but feel a loss of trust but I’m not sure if I should be taking it this way.

horatiohornblower · Accepted Answer

I'd say to better understand his reasons and better communicate your concerns. As far as trade school goes. Being married shouldn't affect his studies.

I'm assuming you aren't living together already. As you say you're both religious. By being married. You can live together. Shared living expenses are lower than maintaining two residences.

Just because you are getting married. Doesn't mean you need to stop working. Even in a traditional housewife arrangement. Women frequently kept working until they had children. Since there isn't much point to being a housewife without children.

Both my grandmas worked. They were pretty conservative. The whole 1950's women never work was really a product of that decade. Unless you were well off. Men and women worked. One grandma had nine kids and still managed to work as a pastry chef in a five star hotel.

As far as children go. You don't have to have kids right away. Most modern religions allow the use of prophylactics or birth control.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

He sounds like a traditional guy and wants to make sure he can provide for the two of you. He didn't say he didn't want to get married to you, he said he's not ready YET and wants to postpone one year until he finishes trace school.

You are obviously upset about the postponement and you and you should talk with him about it, making sure that he is still committed to marry you. 15 years from now, when you are married with kids, you'll look back on this postponement as one of the easiest things you had to deal with. Marriage takes work by both spouses; consider this practice for that.

Subarugirl · Accepted Answer

You're young, postponing a year, especially since he want to graduate is a wise choice. You should respect him for the fact that he wants to be in a more stable place before tying the knot. Take the year to invest in your future. Go to school, save, invest... Weddings take along time to plan anyways, most good venues, photographers, etc are booked out a year in advance.

iseekpinetrees · Accepted Answer

he's being traditional dude. Nothing to worry about but you should learn to communicate your feelings to him.

jasco · Answer

Well marriage is a really big thing for both sex's. However so is school so keep in mind that if you get married now, its gonna take time off of studying for exams and stuff. When he's out of school than he can spend more time with you and not worry about school

KatherineJ · Answer

If he wants to wait until he graduates, I think it’s reasonable. But you should really talk to him, and not take what I say as anything other than my own opinion.

Anonymous · Answer

it's best to be graduated, with a career, savings, a stable job, a good place to live, and ready before jumping into marriage. just saying...

emperor90 · Answer

No maybe because there is pandemic going around and he wants to make sure to keep people safe

TheFlak38 · Answer

His spidey senses warn him he is about to destroy his life.

Wise4myage · Answer

You should only be worried if he's thinking about breaking up with you, and his reason sounds legit.

LegendaryIcon · Answer

If you pick the 19th, it's my birthday. ill be, 33 on march 19, 2022

bestfriend69 · Answer

Yeah! You should be worried. Omicron is spread very fast

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

Talk to him. Say all of this. I would be upset too

My boyfriend wants to postpone wedding a year, should I be worried?

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