Is marriage only a piece of paper? Your thoughts?

[scott04sa22]

Yes!

No!

[MelissaMarie9614]

I believe marriage is more than a piece of paper. It's a commitment! Made by the couple! A commitment to always be there for your partner no matter what, love them in every way, and grow old together.❤️ To love and care for each other in every way, for richer or for poorer, and till death do you part. Marriage is a blessing and a beautiful thing!

[Massageman]

Yes!

[agonz914]

I think marrying someone is so special. Like you two are choosing each other 💖 out of all the people in the world. Someone chose me and I chose them.

[scott04sa22]

I’m single and the question is not about me. I’m seeking peoples opinions on it

[agonz914]

Yes. I'm trying to state my opinion about marriage. Maybe I could have worded it better.

[agonz914]

*Like two people are choosing each other

[scott04sa22]

It’s ok, not everybody grammar is perfect. Most people especially don’t have control over it

[agonz914]

Im single too. so my last sentence is also hypothetical Lol but I think you get the jist of it.

[scott04sa22]

I think you’ll find someone soon. Woman can find men earlier then men can find woman. Like I talked about from others.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you believe that your marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper, then that is probably all that it will be to you and your partner. If you believe that your marriage is a sacred obligation and your partner is just as important as you are, then you know that marriage is more than just a piece of paper.

[scott04sa22]

I’m asking others opinions on it. No I’m single and I’m unable to have any romantic relationships because I’m unable to drive any vehicles due to a permanent condition of mine.

[OlderAndWiser]

When I was married, I treated my relationship as a sacred obligation. Unfortunately, she did not have the same atitude and it ended in divorce. I will probably get married again and will treat it as a sacred obligation.

[dvh714]

I don't think marriage is required for the commitment. And I am talking about the official definition of marriage. Legally or formally recognised union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. That's just a piece of paper. And that piece of paper is useful for all the legal stuff like life insurance or medical insurance etc. But if there is no love between the partners, that piece of paper doesn't mean anything. And if there is love between those two people, they don't need that piece of paper to define their love!

[shaysh87]

why would you be so scared of a piece of paper if you're sooo completely in love with your spouse? Marriage is the ultimate seal of commitment. why not step on it?

[dvh714]

I am not scared of a piece of paper. But it isn't required for my relationship to work either. Me and my SO are practical about it. We are totally comfortable living as we do! We are committed to each other and we don't need a piece of paper to define our relationship. "I can't look or flirt other people because I am bound by marriage", that's a shitty outlook. If you think that's security, you are wrong. Do you need a ritual to solidify your relationship? Or do you want your feelings to solidify your relationship? We are loyal to each other because we want to be. Not because we are legally bound to each other! That's what commitment is. A piece of paper can never do that if you don't love and respect each other.

[shaysh87]

YES a piece of paper does bound a person legally to you. Yes, the piece of paper does matter! if you loved her so much, you can't wait to marry her. This is the mindset of a man who is truly in love with his partner. Not some guy who claims he's head over heels in love, but avoids marriage like its a terrible thing.

Its like really loving a teddy bear. Marriage is like writing a name tag on the teddy bear that you can't bear to lose. whats so wrong with writing the name tag?

I'll tell you something that will interest you. 98% of the taken men who hit on / flirt with me are unmarried men with girlfriends, not men who have wives. how do you explain that?

[shaysh87]

[Do you need a ritual to solidify your relationship? Or do you want your feelings to solidify your relationship? We are loyal to each other because we want to be. Not because we are legally bound to each other! That's what commitment is. A piece of paper can never do that if you don't love and respect each other.]

if you're so committed and dedicated to her, then why not marry her? Why not have joint bank accounts so you both can build wealth together? why not buy a house together? wouldn't it be easier for two working adults to pay off a mortgage than 1 person struggling on their own?
why not share the same retirement account?
why avoid the obligation to pay off your wife's medical bills?

whats the reason behind why you don't want this woman to be your ball and chain?

[shaysh87]

the fact that you do not want to legally share anything together shows you have no faith that this person will be your forever love. Sharing financial obligations, sharing insurances shows that you both are willing to tackle life's obstacles head on together.

Your unwillingness to do this shows you want do not want to tackle life "together", but instead you want to tackle life separately. You want to be free from any obligations for the woman you love.

[shaysh87]

["I can't look or flirt other people because I am bound by marriage", that's a shitty outlook. ]

Married people cannot flirt with others. Married people are also not allowed to hangout with the opposite gender one on one alone without his wife's permission. There are many unspoken, unwritten rules about marriage. And by the fact that you're calling these rules "shitty" shows that you crave freedom to flirt with other women. In other words, you want your girlfriend but YET you also want the freedom to enjoy other women. This does not show you're a man who is fully committed.

[dvh714]

We live together, we have a house that belongs to both of us, we have joint accounts, we have insurances. We are both working adults. We both don't want any kids. Why would we want an official ritual? And why do you assume that it's only my decision? I don't owe you any explanation but me and my SO have both discussed it thoroughly and then decided that we don't need to be legally bound. We already feel secure with each other.

And great work calculating percentage of men hitting on you. You must have great skills in that area I guess.

We already tackle life's obstacles together. Marriage is not required to do any of the things that you mentioned. We don't need a written proof of our love. We already know. And I really don't care about what you think or how it makes you feel. Because the one person who cares, knows how I feel about her!

[shaysh87]

why are you acting as if getting married is such a difficult thing to do? you go to the courthouse, you get things signed and you're married!! why are you acting as if getting married is like climbing up mount everest? i dont know what is difficult about that.

if you loved her enough, you would marry her. there must be a reason why you wouldn't marry her that you're not willing to say.

[shaysh87]

you say a piece of paper means nothing, but you would never ever touch it, no matter how easy it is to get. this shows the piece of paper does mean something to you, if you won't touch it ever at all.

if you loved her so much, you wouldn't mind being bound to her legally. Its better to be bound to the person you love legally, than not.

[shaysh87]

just think about it:

if you would love someone so much that you would die for her, why would you think its better to not be legally bound to her than to be bound to her?

[dvh714]

The reason is simple. Marriage has zero value in both our opinions. What society thinks doesn't concern us. What other people might say, doesn't bother us. It's not a difficult task to register our marriage, I know all the procedure. But why is it required? I mean, I don't have any problem, my partner doesn't have any problems. Why do you have problems if me and my partner don't get married? And it's exactly that. We don't owe it to anyone. We know what we want to do and why we want to do. All the concerned parties (me and my partner) know everything that we have to know. Other people have no business meddling in our lives. I don't care if 98% of boyfriends cheat on their girlfriends. I don't care what the statistics say. Even if it was 99.99%, I would still be happy with my girlfriend. Because I don't care what you or anyone else thinks.

[shaysh87]

listen if I were head over heels in love with a man, the day of the wedding WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. you don't know what you're talking about. You're writing off something that should be the happiest day of your life to something that is insignificant, doesn't matter, doesn't make you any happier. This itself is a red flag that shows that you have absolutely no faith that forever love exists. You're the type of guy who stays with his girlfriend when things are fine but ditch her when things turn sour.

The top reason why people refuse to get married is because you want an easy escape route when things go downhill. You have no intentions on tackling the future's obstacles together.

[dvh714]

And it looks to me that you can't accept other people's opinions. I have no problem with you wanting to get married. But you clearly have a problem about what me and my partner decide to do with our lives. You should reflect on that and try to understand that your opinion is not a universal truth! People have their differences. Grow up!

[shaysh87]

I'm not forcing you to get married. Thats not my intention. I'm just here to tell you the reasons behind why you refuse to get married. Because I know for a fact that if I were head over heels in love, I wouldn't be able to wait for an extra month to get married. Getting married would be one of the highlights of my life that I will never ever forget. It would be one of the happiest days of my life.

For you to shit on the happiest day of my life. Or saying that it doesn't make you happy to be married to her, it shows you have no faith in forever love. In other words, you don't believe that forever love exists. You don't believe in sticking by each other through thick and thin.

[shaysh87]

[And it looks to me that you can't accept other people's opinions. I have no problem with you wanting to get married. But you clearly have a problem about what me and my partner decide to do with our lives. You should reflect on that and try to understand that your opinion is not a universal truth! People have their differences. Grow up!]

I think that there are certain things that you are in denial about because they are too painful for you to directly admit. Because I certainly knows what it feels like to be head over heels in love. Marriage is one of the most blissful, exciting, happy things that has ever been created by mankind. For someone like you to intentionally not want it, shows a lot about you.

[shaysh87]

If I were head over heels in love, I would want to take my husband's last name. I would want his name and my name etched together on everything we own. I would want god to recognize us as sarah and edward rather than just sarah or edward. I wouldn't want to be seen as separate entities. This is what truly being in love is like.

[shaysh87]

i would want to have my husband name tattooed on my left hand wedding ring finger to show off the love of my life to the rest of the world. I would have my name tattooed on his wedding finger to show our love and commitment to each other. Any woman who passes him by will see my name, who he's married to, on his finger. It only shows how much we love each other.

[shaysh87]

I'm not acting as if I need validation from others that we are a committed couple. I'm simply acting out of pure emotional passion for the love of my life. Its a show of passion, not superficial validation.

[Mango-man]

The same way a decree of house ownership is just a piece of paper...

But really, marriage shows that you really care about the other person and that you are not afraid of showing it to the world and becoming a single uniform unit (shared stuff).

[TheorionMage]

There is 'civil' marriage ( a legally-binding partnership 'contract ' for clarity of reproductive inheritance of physical assets) and then there's the (hopefully mutual) pledge in the presence of human witnesses and presumably however you (pl) perceive your 'Creator', to be mutually-bound to 'support' one another's needs.

[t-8900]

I require a spiritual marriage done right, recognized by God. I don't give a damn what the state says or recognizes. It legitimizes nothing in my heart and mind. It's all about becoming one flesh, saying "I do", and the vows in the eyes of God. None of the other stuff matters

[DWornock]

Marriage is an unwritten agreement between you and the state and enforced by the courts and federal and state agencies. That takes priority over any verbal or written agreement between you and your partner, and the reason the courts often toss out prenups. Since it is an unwritten agreement, it is not a piece of paper.

[wysiwyg2525]

Marriage is a thing of the past. If your in a relationship and it's going great why use a paper to make it complicated and messy. Just be equal and respect eachother. Now a day there is less Marriage vs divorce. It don't work at all because you both fight over everything especially money.

[JoyGirl]

No, it is an agreement made by a couple, in the eyes of God.
A couple that gets married at church or at court.

[Massageman]

Yes.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yes and no. Yes, because it's just a piece of paper the government gives out to recognize husband and wife.

And no because it's a social symbol of commitment to family and husband and wife and it also promotes the family unit socially which is good.

[captain_voidwalker]

Marriage for a man is someone proposing a business venture with 95% failure rate. Where you are financially liable for all loses incurred and will get stuck paying your business partners salary in the event of failure. Also there is no return on the investment... go ahead sign that dotted line

[hahahmm]

No. It's what people who don't want to have responsibilities/obligations say. I'm not saying all marriages are a good idea tho. I only believe in traditional marriage between traditional minded people.

[Anonymous]

No. Not to me. I think it’s just proof of the love we have for each other.


Of course you don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re madly in love (or to be married to do so) but to me I think it’s like “yea I found my person and we don’t need to look elsewhere because we’ve already found each other.

[Opinion Owner]

And when I think of marriage I think spiritual, ceremony and gathering with family and close friends to celebrate our true love.

[Opinion Owner]

Not a piece of paper.

[Tiptoetamm]

I agree with that. Not saying I'll never get married because never is a long time lol but it's not as important to me, I'd be happy regardless.

[melanieeeB]

For me it is, I mean it's more important for me to have a healthy relationship and a partner for life... I don't need it to be officially recognized as that

[melanieeeB]

Reading the other comments, personally I will say you can still commit to someone, without having to put a ring on it but I get why it's special to a lot of people tho

[Adam1978]

That is the only thing it is guaranteed to be. You don't need it for the whole commitment part if you picked the right person. But if you picked the wrong it will ruin your life.

[Guy13]

Marriage is a Covenant confirmed with a contractual obligation sanctioned by the State. “You’re Stuck” mentality, with the right light-hearted person, should be a good arrangement.

[qwert1234]

No, it's a legally binding contract that entitles a couple to some benefits. Who benefits the most, I'll leave it to you, depending on your culture, religion, societal laws.

[exitseven]

Like anything else in life, marriage is what you make it. I took a vow in front of my friends and family and I fully intend to honor my pledge. Many people do not take it seriously.

[LingyRolls]

Honestly I feel like the government shouldn't even be involved in marriages. It's none of their business. Why do I need to report my personal intimate relationships to the government? That's stupid

[Lara_Croft]

If God created marriage and back in the time of Adam and Eve, there were no papers to sign. Then no, marriage is not a piece of paper. The first q was rhetorical. Till death do us part is serious. Jesus is Lord and God is Good

[Contra1166]

Marriage is such a pointless institution, "until death do part" while 60% of marriages end after 1 major issue. Maybe my cynicism is due to my parents divorce but even if I ever did want to marry I would just do it ceremonially.

[Nata2496]

Marriage is a sacrament, it's a man and a woman who are truly committed to one another becoming one. The idea that's 'just paper' comes from the godless and irreverent.

[anton_dee]

It is a binding contract between 2 people for their lifetime. It is a serious process which you need to think very carefully else you be fucked (figuratively) for life..

[bamesjond0069]

No. Its a legal obligation to pay half your stuff to the woman at any times she decides to leave you. This is the current definition of marriage and how it is in practice.

[Anonymous]

If you are getting married in these modern times, it’s a trap. Not just by your partner, but the government and lawyers LOVE to see people spending tons of money on divorce.

[JuanVelasco2]

In the modern Western context, marriage is a system of legalized prostitution whereby a man bribes a woman with food/drink, housing, emotional security, job stability, transportation service, an expensive ring, and a lavish wedding.

[JuanVelasco2]

😹😹😹😹. Look how the voting is going, the majority of women voted for no. There it is evidenced who really is the one who benefits from the marriage. And not the feminist stories that marriage is a system of oppression of women.

[omnivert]

In one way, but in India, it's a bond of souls and their duties to each other.

And those bonds didn't break in 90% of cases.

[Jltakk]

Marriage is a beautiful thing outside of the law. There are far too many legal discrepancies that make marriage a bad option these days.

[caitycat21]

The institution of marriage and the family needs to be abolished. A state shouldn’t have control over anyones love life

[Subarugirl]

the simplest solution to that would to just not get married...… marriage is a legally binding contract. If you don't want legalities involved, don't sign legal documents

[caitycat21]

@Subarugirl you’re kind of missing the point..

[Subarugirl]

which was that the state should not have control over peoples love lives... which they don't, until legal documentation and contracts are signed, the state has no say or control over the love lives and relationships of consenting adults.

[exitseven]

If there is no family unit, who takes responsibility for children? The govenrment?

[caitycat21]

As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. The trad family structure is very much old and out dated. Children need to be raised communally, within their community. Unfortunately currently the way society is structured most places don’t allow for that but in the island country my mom grew up on that’s the way she lived her life so it’s definitely possible.

[caitycat21]

Saint andrewism has a really good video up on YouTube that goes more into depth

I recommend it, he does a great job explaining

https://youtu.be/hmqNSCe0w2w

[exitseven]

@caitycat21 I would not trust a bunch of strangers to raise my kids. My wife purposely stayed home with our kids for 11 years until they got older. They were the only kids in the neighborhood that did not get shipped to some daycare place. My wife's second income could have been a big help to us but we felt that the kids should come before a new car or a vacation to disneyworld.

[caitycat21]

That’s the thing - you don’t have a sense of community. We need to have community if people are going to raise kids * that’s what I’m advocating for.

[exitseven]

I actually have neighbors that I do not know who they are. This is a modern phenomenon. I do not know how to fix it but I wish I could.

[caitycat21]

I hear you. That’s part of the reason why I want to become a urban planner when I grow up. A lot of the way the areas we live in are built don’t promote community. We have limited communal spaces to the point normal activities that used to be common like bike riding and walking are becoming dangerous because of the way many places are so car dependent.

We need to get rid of cars soon anyways because of how detrimental they are for the environment. They need to be replaced with better transportation and better infrastructures that focus on clean energy ideally. It’s a very big goal but I’d like to work for an ideal future as best I can

[exitseven]

@caitycat21 Yes, I can't wait until we all have jetpacks.

[caitycat21]

I mean not jet packs. I’m thinking of better public transportation, we need better buses kind of like how Europe is doing. That’s a great place to start

[exitseven]

I hate public transportation. It is crowded, slow and very inconvenient. I hate waiting on a cold train platform in the freezing cold waiting for a train that will be very late.

[caitycat21]

And that’s why I want to improve it and make it better. Public transportation may sound bad but it’s the necessary step for a better future. Public transport causes way less death due to accents compared to transportation like cars & causes less overall emissions so it’s better for the environment.

Right now a lot of places don’t have good public transport unfortunately

[exitseven]

@caitycat21 I like driving in my truck by myself listening to the stereo and having the heated seat on. I spent a whole year taking the bus and the subway. The few times I have to do it always make me glad I don't have to do it every day.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Well more of a contract written not by, but for the girlies!

[Chthou95]

It's a contract. And who benefits more from a marriage contract?

[Heartache0405]

Marriage is a contract that protects women and fucks men over. I will never be getting married.

[Proabi]

yeah that's exactly why these women love the prenup, fuck all

[Dchrls78104]

It should be more than that but these days it doesn't seem so because people treat it with very little respect.

[flirtatiousgirl]

I wished find right one but i think it's impossible so I don't want to marry

[KrakenAttackin]

No. Marriage is a binding business contract, and the only contract in law which can be broken because one party "feels different".

[Anonymous]

To most women, seeing as how they initiate 90% of all divorces, i would say it is only a piece of paper, To men it is not.

[AviatorTom]

If so, it's a very expensive piece of paper. 😎

[SunnyCaliGirl]

Only for taxes proposes yes

[NathanDavis]

feeling romantic today? lol...

[Zygum]

Permanent bond of two partners

[TrueConfection]

Yeah right 😂😂😂

[exitseven]

it is or it isn't or is it both?

[TrueConfection]

@exitseven I don't think it is. I'll try telling my husband our marriage is only a piece of paper and see how we'll that goes over.

[exitseven]

I do not think it is just a piece of paper either. The piece of paper and the ceremony is just a construct to represent the idea of a union between a man and a woman.

[TrueConfection]

@exitseven Yes, with a legal aspect to it as well.

[exitseven]

@TrueConfection Well yeah, the lawyers need to make a few bucks too.

[Anonymous]

Only for taxes proposes yes.