Why is the idea of ​​living together bad? Is marriage necessary?

[spicegirl445]

Is marriage necessary?

Updates:

[CaptainOverthink]

When is it a bad idea?:
Uhm..
- When you're both so independent and in love (or otherwise stuck) with the idea of having your own space and personal freedoms.
- Sometimes when you work great together but just can't handle or compromise a shared living.
- When you're both very ambitious proffessionally and your jobs require you to work far apart.
÷÷÷ The downside is, you need to be super mature about it, you both need to be either very high in trust or you need to accept the S/O having side-projects (sexual or otherwise). You can ofc discuss those terms beforehand but still, lots of trust.

--- Living partners:
Living together is not bad at all, it's good if your goal is to have a family, regardless if you'll get married. A family requires stability and not living together will just complicate things. Kids future take priority.
If you're not making a family then sometimes it's easier living apart, depends on how you want to live.

So, you meet, you date, you try living together (or not) and if it works and you get along long-term (trial-period on say 1-3years) then start thinking about setting up a committed situation.

Practically, you don't need papers or cermonies to commit to eachother. Just the will and maturity to work things out between you two, set up a system for how you'll manage.
If im not mistaken you could even ask a lawyer to fix your inheritance to eachother, circumvent marriage by micromanaging the legalmatters.


--- Marriage:
So this is depending on what country/culture you grow up in and if you're religious or not..

There are legal effects that comes with marriage, although you can skip formalities and just sign some papers, it's the same.
And you can do a prenup and adjust the settings of the marriage.
Is it bad? - Depends on the country, it's norms and whether or not you can trust your partner/your own judgment.

In some cultures or if your a litteral religious person, you must do marriage before sex. But like, sex is far from everything, you could have everything else with someone if you're patient and goal-focused. You might even be a better couple by forgoing sex until you truly know eachother to get along.
.. Just the thought have me crawling inside out of sexual frustration, the resolve and restrain it would take to build up such lust and not being able to fully lose yourself to it. Actually sound rather exciting. Intense cuddles and kisses.. wow.

[JamesDiaz11]

All I would say is that we are not in some golden age, where all the traditions and customs of the past are no longer needed- because we're just so smart, and advanced.

Marriage was around for a reason, and it's not the feminist bs that said that men created it to oppress/ control women.

Marriage is needed, because it provides a binding commitment between two people, where they have to work out their differences. It's also recognized by society.

If you plan on living with someone without intent to get married in a set timeframe, you're asking for issues. Best case scenario is neither of you are stable; your partner can leave you at any time. Worst case scenario, one of you is getting kicked out (maybe after years together), and then you're in court seeking financial damages, homeless, etc.

[Haha456]

Marriage is for stability and true commitment of staying together and taking care of each other forever through good times and also bad times.

The problem with American society is that they see marriage as more of a romantic joy ride rather than a union where two people are devoted to taking care of each other forever. They divorce at the sight of any problems that arise. Americans have NO WILL to pull through difficult times. Neither do they have any family values. They have this fairy tale expectation of marriage, once things don't reach their expectations, they run.

This explains why america is filled with broken families, divorcees. Its because americans simply do not have family values and do not understand the concept of taking care of each other forever.

Americans are always on the lookout for someone better. If things aren't rainbows , sunshine and unicorns anymore, they will cheat or divorce regardless if it comes at the price of breaking up a family. Now the kids live with mom while the dad visits them once a month. There is no loyalty to marriage here.

These are all reasons why I would never marry an American man. he's gonna just bail on you once he encounters a few issues with you. There are no family values or loyalty

[Screenwriter]

Here's what statistics, psychologists and the pundits say about living together vs. marriage: Living together is a perpetual "honeymoon." But "marriage" is the serious paperwork after living together. People often change after there's a "ring on it."

Then they imitate whatever marriage or collection of marriages they've seen throughout their lives. A guy who shares all the chores when you're living together might revert to his parents' relationship or grandparents' or aunt's or uncle's example of marriage. NOW it's her job to do all the cooking and cleaning and he goes out to work and why does she need a job now if his pays enough for both of them?

Now, nobody HAS TO DO IT THIS WAY. But this is what commonly happens. IF communication stays open and a couple discuss how they want their marriage to be: not carbon copies of anyone else's, a happy marriage is doable. But Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn have never married and seem quite happy to have lived together 39 years. All the legalities have to be covered if you're NOT to protect children and property obtained while living together. That's the only difference on the law side.

It is up to the two involved what will or won't work.

[integrale77]

Living together before getting married makes a lot of sense. If I stuck to dated concepts of not moving in together till married will be a logistical nightmare with my girlfriend. Neither of us live in a house where we can move in together with her son so we need to move house.
Moving house will mean moving all our stuff and working around a wedding also setting up a new school with her son all in a short space of time. Add the complication of me working from home needing an internet connection setup too.

[ethanallen]

Having never been married and having no children, I can say I am very happy I have never gotten married or had kids. My life is easy. No stress. Total freedom to enjoy what I like to do. Nobody nags me. no woman tries to force me to do shit that I have no interest in doing. I don't risk losing my money to an ex wife in divorce and my kids in child support. The best thing that ever happened to me is that I am intersex (XXY) which has left me unable to have children. I have had many relationships with women where I had unprotected sex all the time. I have never had an accidental pregnancy that coerced me into marriage

[Emilyis]

My husband and I both were virgins on our wedding night at the ripe old age of 21. Sex before marriage is one thing but do you know how to make love. if you are having sex, before marriage, then on your special wedding night, it will just be simply another night of plain sex as usual. As for as living conditions, You will fight over who pays the bills, who will clean the house. What goes in the frig. Who get to invite friends over. and last but not least, If you have an expensive apartment and one of you leave and the other has to keep paying the expensive rent.

[menina]

It's not bad to me but some people prefer to get married. I would have no problems with living with my partner instead of getting married.

To me marriage is only necessary if both want to get married, or for religious or cultural reasons.

[TheUniqueOne96]

Marriage should be up to the couple.

I view it as more of a religious thing TBH and as a none-religious person, I don't want it and would rather live together without it.

The religious crowd need to understand that not everyone is Christian, Muslim or whatever, so their rules don't apply to them.

[sheikalana]

Where did this idea of moving together is bad coming from? Never heard anyone saying it's a bad idea. Why would it be a bad idea? If you're in a stable relationship and been dating each other for some time and both of you feel like it's time to move in together that's something that is eventually going to happen.

[IveGotNoName]

In this day and age I don't feel like I hear anyone around me saying living together before marriage is bad, except for my very religious parents, but even they've come around to the idea. I'm in the process of moving in with my boyfriend right now.

[Roseboy]

i think its fine to just live together

and marriage is not necessary

but marriage definitely does prove commitment.. sometiems..

the thing is like 50 years ago id say marriage is probably best since it will probably guarantee you stay together

but by now people will get divorced very easily and the stress of marriage doesn't help

so today, marriage is definitely not necessary and maybe even worse for some couples

[kikissss]

From my perspective yes! Because he could just be using you (for sex, for financial purposes, because of the food) for many years and then leave when it is convenient for him! If they don’t sign a paper that says we are a union or a team then girl just don’t do it. I thought that same that leaving together was enough but nope!

[brezzybaby]

I think marriage is definitely necessary but not if you can't stand living with that person how would you be with them for the rest of your life? Maybe I'm not understanding the question I have almost made it down the aisle once with my baby daddy and he backed out on me two days before our day. We were together 11 yearsb

[maximumpower]

Not bad unless you're asking traditionalists.
If I had my way about it, I'd have remained cohabitating and never married.
Would have been FAR better in the long run.
Concept of marriage was invented by women, for women and designed to tie men down.

[Vesuvius87]

If that's what you want ok. Personally I won't live with a man that's not at least my fiance. All that's telling me is that he has one foot out the door any time, he'll leave and I'll be wasting time for nothing.

Any man can make me his girlfriend, promise eternal love and live together with me without taking any risks. I'm not impressed. Meanwhile few will actually take the plunge and go for it... now that's a man for me.

[likelyOK]

It’s not that it is “bad” necessarily I just think there is a lot to consider. I really don’t recommend it. If your 18 take some time to live with female roommates it’s really a young age to move in with a man.

[ElementoP]

Don't listen to these morons.

Marriage isn't just some piece of paper or some promise to a higher power. It's a legally binding contract that holds you both responsible to each other. Married couples have rights, to and against each other, that a boyfriend and girlfriend wouldn't.
I'm not gonna explain every single one of them to you in this comment, if you're curious look it up

[Chazmatazz269]

Marriage is a sham, and a loser’s bet for men. We’re not far off from a time when shacking up will be equally dangerous. I wouldn’t take the chance in any state that still has common law marriage on the books. The UK has already started giving “palimony” to unmarried women just for living with men. I can’t help but wonder how long before men are just automatically financially tethered to a woman on their 18th birthday. Ell oh ell!

[Reaper1985]

cohabitation without being at least engaged to each other is like being roommates with benefits. but that also means one or both can bail if things don't go their way. without having to get the legal system involved.

[anon1903]

It is so coz society can't see happy couples, they want to drop a child in their life. And assure the man and the woman can't get out of it.

I personally hate marriage. It's like prison.

[dustybiker]

It’s not necessary. It’s something two people either want or don’t. You don’t have to be married to prove commitment. A cheater will cheat married or not.

[Luopio27]

Marriage is just a ritual. Getting a child is a commitment of a lifetime that will take most of your money, time and energy to keep the family together.

[Losalt]

Well, in my country that's actually the norm.
Here people usually live together and have a child together before marrying.
But usually not two.