Is telling a man this going to make him feel okay to marry me?

[Anonymous]

"I Love you it's been 4 years.. I'm having your baby & when you are ready I will marry you"

Honestly i dont want to tell a man that because he will know i won't leave.

Am i being irrational?

[Anonymous]

No not at all. To me even though you’re saying you’ll marry me when I’m ready is telling me two different things. One I don’t ever have to marry you but you’ll still standby regardless. Two it also tells me that even though you’re saying it’s up to me when I’m ready you’re telling me indirectly you want me to bring up marriage. If you’re having a man’s baby before marriage there’s no reason for him to marry you. You’ve already given him one of the most sacred things already, children. Why does he need to marry you if he has a kid, sex, you cooking for him, etc.

[Asker]

True. I hate life right now

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry to hear that. So I didn’t want to assume it from what you wrote but you’re pregnant for this dude?

[Asker]

Mmhm

[Opinion Owner]

Lol ok have a good day

[Asker]

What's the point of asking that and just saying okay bye?

[Opinion Owner]

Well you didn’t really reply to my question so I figured you weren’t interested in talking

[Asker]

Oh no, I said mmhm like yep (I'm a little embarrassed)

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry to hear that. Was the pregnancy planned?

[Asker]

The time I stopped planning. I got pregnant lol

[Opinion Owner]

So why hasn’t he asked you to marry him yet? Will you stay w him even if it means he never wants to get married?

[Asker]

I gave him January 2024 to propose. If he doesn't I'm out.

[Opinion Owner]

So he actually doesn’t have a choice. I mean he does but he doesn’t. You said you’re ready to marry him when he’s ready but you gave him an end date. Has he said hey he hasn’t married you?

[Asker]

I never told him I'll wait for you and when he's ready I'll wait. Yea right. He hasn't told me he doesn't want marry me. He says he does but he's slacking on putting a ring on it

[Opinion Owner]

Then chances are he really doesn’t want to get married. Especially if he’s going to have a family. A lot of times men don’t get married right away due to financial reasons. I’m hoping this works out for you because it’s going to be harder trying to meet someone w a child. The age as well. Not only that dating for a few years, then marriage, maybe mid to lates 30’s by the time that happens. Now if he wants kids that could also be another thing. Are you going to want to have kids at that age? If the answer is no than chances are he won’t want to be w you.

[Asker]

He keeps telling me he only needs a couple of hundred dollars more... and he will put a ring on it. But I won't stress about it anymore. And it won't be hard for me to find another man. Lol you must think I'm ugly or something. Men are easy. It's just finding one who sticks by their word. My current man does... I mean he did court me when we first got together. He asked if I wanted marriage and everything. I'm just wondering what the hold up is now lol I'm also not looking
To get married... just engaged I dont think I'm actually in love with him... like crazy in love with him to actually get married

[Asker]

It's just at the same time I personally dont think I can get someone else when I'm more focused on my career and school at 31

[Asker]

I did for a moment believe he was stringi ng me along. Or doesn't want me with anyone else. I personally didn't think I could get pregnant again and I was so happy when I was so I ruined it for myself to find true love.

[Asker]

But honestly that's just your opinion. I do believe there are men out there who would wife me up.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure most women can find someone to date but like you said is he going to take you serious. That’s a big responsibility for a man to take one someone else is kid. Plus he may wants kids of his own so if someone can’t give him that he may not want to be in a relationship w that person. U less he’s been through it all, just wants a partner w no kids. Yes I think we as men are set. I think women complicate us more by overthinking what we need or want. Hopefully you will meet someone, but w your career and school and a kid on the way you’re not really going to have time for someone and no one is really going to stick around for something like that. By the time you meet someone, get married, etc, you’ll be in your mid to late 30’s. Which honestly is going to make it harder. I have a feeling this dude doesn’t want to marry you. A couple hundred dollars really is keeping him from marrying you? If you’re not in love then why not just say so rather than him sticking around?

[HighValue]

If you want marriage, offer to sign a prenuptial agreement. That should greatly increase your chances.

[LazerBean]

No. If he hasn't married you after four years and a baby, it's just because he doesn't want to.

[Anonymous]

You’re currently pregnant? Way to break the news.