Is it right to get maried to this man?

[Anonymous]

I have been with this man for almost a year and he is a lot better than my ex but still has his ways.

I have suggested counseling but we have yet to do it. He is ready to get married even though he just gave me my ring a few months ago.

He seems to be a little penny pinching when it comes down to things because I have my own money but I remember a time we went on a trip and he was throwing a fit over paying the resort fees even though the rooms were comped under my name.

And recently since Thanksgiving is coming up he wants me to cook which I did not mind but the day after arriving I will be very tired and not have much energy especially since we are traveling with my 4 year old twin girls.

We got into it on this matter because he wanted so much food that I knew was out of my capability and he was not satisfied even bringing up that his mom does it all the time or his family. In a way, he was underlining that I was not doing enough because when I told him it was too much on me he was trying to still get his point across to make me change my mind. Since it is only me and suffering slight jet lag due to the slight time difference I called the act a little selfish because he did not volunteer to help me in any way with cooking or cleaning. Afterwards if I did it I would still have to take care of the girls bathe them and put them to bed.

What do you think of this? I'm really having second thoughts.

There is a lot more to it but it seems every few days it's over small things the arguments and I don't have the energy.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, this sounds like a lot to handle. A marriage is supposed to make your life less stressful, not more you know?

A few red flags here I'm seeing. The money issues would bother me, and the fact you've suggested counseling but haven't done it yet is not great. Fights over small stuff all the time is exhausting.

And wanting you to do all the cooking for everyone on your first night after traveling with the kids sounds pretty self-centered on his part. He should wanna help you out and make things easy, not stress you more. Working as a team is important, especially with kids in the mix.

My advice would be to hold off on the actual wedding until you guys do some counseling. Get on the same page with communication and compromising. A lot of little things can get overlooked when dating but really come to a head once you tie the knot. Make sure this is the right next step for you and your daughters' wellbeing too before committing legally. Trust your gut - if it's feeling iffy now it may not get better without work.

[petitedollbabee]

You’ve been together for less than a year, and you’re already wanting counselling. That’s really not a good sign. Just because he’s better than your ex, does not mean he’s perfect for you. You need to look at him as an individual, not a comparison to your ex. He also wouldn’t hear you out and was determined to only make his point heard. And he didn’t help with cooking or cleaning. Yikes. I think getting married to him would be a mistake.

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask GAG than probably not