What would you do if your committed partner told you they wanted an Open Relationship with you?

[Finchie40]

It seems open relationships and FWB’s is the new thing , that people are choosing to do with each other these days , basically weighing their options and unsure about what they really want. I am currently experiencing one now , with my wife , that I separated from for a bit , but decided to try to work things out as FWB’s taking it slow because we are still legally married to each other , Things started off good, we promised we wouldn’t sleep with other people but we were ok to date other people , so we were on the same page as that , but who knows because lately things haven’t been good between her and I , and now she is asking for an open relationship with me , basically she wants to still be with me , but also wants to be free to screw other people as well. I told her No , if you screw someone else, it’s over between us , if we are going to go screw other people? I’m sorry , what’s the point? Am I wrong to feel this way? I am not going to stand by a girl that just got nailed by another guy and act like everything is fine , as for her , she says it’s ok if I go screw another girl? So that tells me she really isn’t in love with me , I’m sorry, if I go screw another girl? I will not be able to look at my wife the same way , I would end it with her right than and there , because My intentions will be focused on that other girl period. I told my wife we are best to file for divorce, if that’s the road she wants to go on. Part of me already thinks she cheated on me by her asking me this , and feel she is afraid to admit to me , that she did , I told her if you screwed someone else? End it with me right now. She said file for divorce then, so I have my answer that she has been just using me this whole time , and realize she really doesn’t love me , she doesn’t hate me , but she wants her cake and wants to eat it to , So what should I do? Should I file for the divorce or just deal with it and start dating other people?

[sage2021]

File for the divorce. Both of you are leaving scratch marks on each other each time one of you wants to leave. (Scratch marks from them grabbing your arm and begging you to stay".

This has been going on way too long with the two of you. It's the same old merry-go-round with the same old horse.

Just because you separate and start a divorce doesn't mean you need to run out and find someone new right away.

Consider taking some time out of getting involved with someone else for at least six months to re-examine your life. A life that has been re-examined puts things in prospective where they weren't before.

Another relationship with another woman isn't the answer. You'll just be sticking your hand in another snake pit. You don't need that!

Did you find a job yet? Will you sell your house? Divorce is very expensive especially if you have assets together to divide up.

This is one good reason to take time out from dating anyone. She would only be your transition woman, and those rarely turn into your dream relationship.

I'm not telling you to do anything I haven't experienced myself. I re-examined my life when I was 37 only I promised myself no dating for one year!

You have a good head on your shoulders already but just like with a computer, you need to hit the refresh button every now and then.

Ok sweetie - I hope this helps. You can always DM me ok?

[Finchie40]

Yea I realize it’s over between her and I , and realize I deserve better than this shit , she is a selfish POS person and I feel bad for any guy that falls for her selfishness but I will shake his hand and say Good Lick with that shit, She is nothing but a user , she only cares about what is best for herself , so divorce is on the top of the list and I am just going to focus on myself , and just do what is best for me. I plan on dating again , just not rushing anything with anyone

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

Leave him! I have WAY too much self respect to tolerate THAT kind of BS!

As for you... Dude, just file for the divorce, and don't look back. If she calls you, be pleasant and polite, but don’t allow her to talk about the relationship! Tell her that you’ll happily discuss anything with her but the marriage is over, so there is literally no point in discussing it! Why do you need a consensus of GaG users to tell you what to do? Just man-up, take your balls from her purse, or wherever she’s clearly been storing them for however long this mess has been going on, put them back on, and tell her you’ll see her in court when everything has been finalized!

Hope this helps,
Laura 🤗 🥰

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Cute_Miss_Laura I couldn't have said it any better. Spot on!

[Finchie40]

I hear ya , I guess my heart is bigger than my balls , why I even considered taking her back in the first place , with all the negative shit that’s been occurring in my life , she clearly took that as her opportunity to come back into my life and I was blinded by it , I blame myself for being so vulnerable at that time , I was grieving the loss of my Mom and oldest brother that passed away 3 months apart from each other , My wife stood by my side during that time. Pretty much why I gave her another chance. But sadly her true colors shined again and I realized I was such a dumbass for falling for her selfish toxic shit , that I finally put my foot down to , I told her to get her shit and leave,. She won’t leave because she is a user , so I been keeping my distance from her and not giving into her at all , I said what I had to say to her and been making my plans to move on.

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

@TheRealPepperPotts Thank you SO much, Pepper. That was really kind of you to take the time to write that down, I really appreciate that.
Laura 🤗 🥰

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

Good for you @Finchie40 ! Seriously, when someone betrays you, they also betray the facade of decency that they have been using to hide their malignancy. (Such as standing by your side after the tragic loss of both your mom and your brother in the space of 90 days!). Three months was all she could muster, before her TRUE colors began to bleed through… THAT says everything you need to know about her.

Also, the “man up” and “take you balls out of her purse” comments were IN NO WAY meant do denigrate you for not being a man, it was a “tough love” way of saying that you need to take the lead on this and end this marriage with such a toxic woman! Give her EXACTLY what she wants, the freedom to date whomever she wants, without the bonds of marriage getting in her way. I promise you, your life will improve immeasurably more than hers once you are free from her malignant narcissism!
I would usually wish you all the luck and happiness in the world, but as soon as your divorce is finalized, I know your life, your “luck”, and your happiness will ALL improve!

I really hope this helps you. You deserve to be happy, Finchie.
Sincerely.
Laura 🤗 🥰

[Finchie40]

Thank you for that ❤️ you are a beautiful person

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

You are so welcome, sweetie, Thank you so much, @Finchie40 for the really sweet compliment. That does mean a lot to me.
Sincerely, Laura 🤗 🥰

[Finchie40]

I value people that have good hearts and you definitely are one of them 😋@cute_Miss_Laura , so thank you for making me smile

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

Awww, thank you so much @Finchie40, that was such a beautiful thing to write. If I make you smile, then it’s my honor, I really appreciate you letting me know that I put a smile on your face. There is (almost) nothing better than the feeling of knowing I made someone happy, as opposed to the normalized cacophony of caca that is usually the tone of conversation online.

[Finchie40]

Smiling is something I haven’t really been doing to much of lately , mainly because of the way things are going in my life at this time , so it’s nice to be able to smile again , so thank you for that 😋

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

I know it’s tough, I’ve been there myself! (cheated on, not married) It really sucks, the pain of the betrayal, and the pain of missing the person are very similar, although you really miss the old relationship, rather than just the person, so it can often confuse us. (That’s why we may miss them, but get angry the second we see them.) But yes, it absolutely sucks, and it REALLY hurts! I can absolutely understand why you've been thinking of taking her back, but you know, in your heart that she will only do it again! You're better off taking some time, and try dating just for fun as compared to looking just for a relationship, and when you're ready for a new relationship… Well, since you're dating already anyway you will know her when you find her.

Laura. 🤗 🥰

[ZackBan]

friends with benefits has been a thing for quite a while now but the open thing is definitely rising in popularity.

Personally I would never date a woman who's not 100% loyal to me.

But if she gets off on the idea of me sleeping with other women or even us having 3somes with other women (and only women) I would entertain the idea

Might not sound "fair" but so long as it's consensual I don't mind or care.
I just know I would never consent to her being with a man

[DextroShade]

It's over right then and there. Women never bring this up unless they already have a guy picked out to open the relationship for or they are already fucking him and are sick of hiding it. Either way she's for the streets and deserves to die alone.

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm with you. What is marriage supposed to mean if she's free to go screw whoever she wants, regardless of how you feel? And, yeah, she's probably already done so, and trying to get some retroactive justification for having been unfaithful.

Cut your losses; the sooner you start on resolving all of this, the sooner you will be ready to move forward.

[AviatorTom]

I would be okay with that, and remind her that open applies to both of us.

[chrissykerdock]

that means you can have someone give you head while she watches or watches tv

[AviatorTom]

@chrissykerdock That would depend on what show she's watching. What would you be watching? 😉

[WintersDaughter]

I'd talk to him about it for a while, maybe a few weeks or months, if it's something he keeps trying to get me to agree to and he just doesn't want to be monogamous anymore then I'd break up with him.

If he wants an open relationship, he can do it with someone else.

[curiousmandy]

I would listen to them and try to understand the why behind it. Then determine if it’s things we can work on as a couple before considering opening things up. I’m also not closed to the idea, but there would need to be a lot of trust and transparency between us

[Finchie40]

The why is because she wants to be selfish and wants her cake and wants to eat it to , so I told her that’s fine , I will do the same

[curiousmandy]

Well I am saying what I would do if a partner approached me about that. Did she express why she wants to be with others? There has to be an underlying reason why she was led to that place to approach you.

[Finchie40]

Because she doesn’t want to work , she thinks she deserves to be catered to and taken care of , she c’s no wrong in herself it’s always someone else’s’ fault , she used me to carry her until she found another Sucker , she isn’t sure how this other Sucker is going to turn out , so she wants to keep me just in case , I see right through her selfish bullshit , so I plan on doing the same to her ,

[curiousmandy]

I’m sorry to hear that. And I can’t imagine how frustrating and upsetting that can be. Have you told her how you feel? And if you have and she didn’t care, what is keeping you with her?

[Finchie40]

I thought she loved me , but now I realize she just loved using me , so my next move is to move on from her and focus on myself

[curiousmandy]

I am so sorry you’re going through that. At some point you need to put yourself, your heart and your happiness, first

[DrPepper12]

Mature progressive answer! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

My wife suggested it to me a few years ago as a way for me to explore my own sexuality (I was strictly a lesbian up to that point). I took it kinda hard in the beginning and felt betrayed. Eventually I gave it a shot and started talking to someone and it eventually led to us dating for a year before he cheated on me. It nearly had me swear off guys completely and just go back to who I was before.

[Finchie40]

Yea being cheated on destroys us inside and makes it harder for us to fully trust someone again , it’s like we put walls up to protect our heart from being shit on again , but I believe true love is still out there , just harder to find these days it seems. But I am not giving up , just trying to play my cards right this time around

[Anonymous]

From what you say it sounds as though your "committed partner" wants to keep you as a "Safe Harbour" while she 304's around, because lets face it it will be easier for her to get partners than for you.

If a "committed partner" told me they wanted an Open Relationship they would receive divorce papers within the week, because an Open Relationship which is usually requested by the woman is often already in an emotional relationship with a man or she is looking for retroactive permission to cheat. you might want to check out Strong Successful Male on Youtube @ https://www.youtube.com/@StrongSuccessfulMale/videos

[JacobJordan]

Relationship is over. They are welcome to figure out how they will pay for anything alone cause they will not be getting a penny from me. They can leave the house with whatever of theirs they can carry and find somewhere else to live. If they don't have a place too bad sleep outside.

[worldscolide]

Instant divorce. No questions, no apologies, nothing. She would be removed from my life instantly.

[Anonymous]

Divorce. I’d dump my man if even mentioned wanting or even being ok with an open relationship. Big no.

[SolitarySolace]

I'd break up with them or get a divorce. If I'm not enough for them they can take a hike

[Edith06]

Immediately break up with them? To even suggest something like that destroys everything the relationship should be based on, double so in a marriage. You can't have your cake and eat it too, not that I understand why you would even want to

[Anonymous]

They wouldn't. Mine is already well aware what a cheater and manipulator is like and opposes the behaviors.

[pethouse]

The only acceptable answer is to kick them to
The curb

[DizzyDesii]

I’d open the door and kick them out

[DizzyDesii]

If things like disease/stds didn't exist, i’d reconsider lmao. But there's no way to tell who all is sleeping with who. Im not tryna catch nun

[Finchie40]

You are so much like me it’s crazy lol , Yea If STD’s didn’t exist , it be a different story 😋

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao my Aqua twin

[Razp_Sorbet]

Id say absolutely not. Not my thing but also if you want an open relationship I think you should go into a relationship with that on the table not bringing it up later down the line

[LaurenM1997]

I’m sorry but if YOU are dating me then YOU are mine nobody else’s

[LaurenM1997]

Dump her ass file for divorce

[Finchie40]

Yea , that’s my next move , I realize I deserve better than this shit , she is a selfish POS person , the other guy can have her

[LaurenM1997]

You do deserve better you deserve happiness and love

[Finchie40]

I thought she loved me but apparently she just loved using me

[LaurenM1997]

I’m so sorry that happened

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Why even question? LEAVE, without hesitation, she's calling your bluff.

[sheikalana]

I would have to refuse and let him go. There's no way I would share my Husband with anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Only way I’d deal with something like that is if lots of money was involved. I’d be out of my mind to leave a man making millions of dollars. A regular man, yeah I’d leave with no hesitation.

[NathanDavis]

would need a whole new terms of contract... lol