When do most men start thinking about marriage?

[malwins]

[D_Bone_Steak]

I actively avoided marriage (was very anti-marriage) until I found myself in the situation of being with and living with her for a couple of years... she's still in the military though. It was basically, get married and the government will move me around with her, or try and do the LDR thing (and we know how that usually turns out). So I ended up getting married.

For instance, she just got orders to Rhode Island and we currently live in Washington state. Being married was just a must-do for us or we'd be separated due to circumstances. It's also forced me to basically be a stay-at-home Dad that can't work on some long-term Job in one place. 14 years so far, and we've been moved from San Diego, to Japan, then to Washington, and just now going to be moving to Rhode Island all the way on the other side of the states.

It's a lifestyle that really sucks... guess how many college degrees I had to cut short because, "surprise, you have to move," and then when I get to the new place they tell me I have to re-do like a years worth of school just because they have different standards or something like that. I've done more school than most Doctors... and it's mostly just re-taking basic math and English classes. Same ish with trying to hold down a job... I get up and moved... can't work my way up on anything.

Anyways, that's my story on how a based and red pilled guy that hates the idea of marriage ended up being married. Eventually, kids got in the picture and I'm just cemented into this role at this point. One day she'll retire and I can start trying to build myself up in a single place instead of all over the world or here alone with kids while she's deployed (like right now). I'm just too old to deal with this shit anymore... been moving around since I was 18. I've already seen the world... tired of the world... I just want to buy a house and be allowed to knock a wall down if I want to. Hold a job... maybe finish a degree for once.

[WaterIsland]

For me, in a relationship, I’m always kinda assessing the potential of marriage. It takes a lot for me to know that someone is right for me to marry. And I don’t even know all the factors since I haven’t been married.


But I think the biggest thing for me, is not having anymore questions about the other person. I want to know everything about the other person. I wanna be able to clearly see all of the flaws of her. Everyone has their flaws. I wanna know clearly what those things are.


Relationships can be built on emotion. At least to start. But eventually, it has to become a logical and practical thing. That doesn’t mean emotions can’t still exist. But it has to become practical and logical too.


But I date with the goal of marriage. I know that isn’t always practical. And I know it won’t always happen. And I don’t want my partner to ever feel pressured by that. But I also want her to work towards that too. I’m not interested in short term flings.

[OlderAndWiser]

At a minimum, you shouldn't consider marrage until you have experenced and resolved a few conflicts wih a partner. Conflicts are inevitable and that is when people drop all pretenses and images and you see who they truly are. It would be unusual for that to not happen in the first year of a relationship. Aside from that, by the end of two years you should know your partner well enough to make this decision. If marriage is something you will ever do, you know by the end of the second year.

[Guy13]

I had a 3/2.5 home at 23 prepared for family. I didn't start thinking about it, however, it is what one does.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Honestly, most days it's between waking up and getting out of bed.

Like "dam, this would be so much easier if I had a family to do it for, warm hugs to send me on my way, someone to share the earnings with"

But more to your point, I'm 26.
It happened for me when I finally had the money coming in. Now I can pay my bills. I can go out to eat. I can do what I want, I can buy cars and bikes and fancy things. I started thinking about a house and the first question is where. But also who's gonna share it with me? What do they like? How much space will she need? How many bedrooms are we planning for?

And that's where I'm at. I have a place. I have what I want. It sucks without someone to share it with.

That's when I stopped looking for someone to play around with and started looking for who'd make a good wife. And man... I never thought I wanted kids in my life until I found God. I dunno. I just really want a family now.

I can do it all for myself all by myself. But it's not worth working this hard just to have more stuff. I want love. Love is God's gift for a happy life. But I want one that lasts.

[SomeRandomGuy89]

Early 30s.

I do have a couple buddies who hitched their wagons in their 20s but in those instances they ended up getting their girls preggo first. Those guys faded away from social life and are rarely seen again.

My buddies who waited until their 30s are all still around to some degree. They seem to better manage their person/work lives. They're healthier people all around.

[SpokenTruth]

I worried about it when I was little not knowing what I would do when I grew up to be successful to get married and have a family. The idea of me getting married began to quickly fade at the age 20 - 21 once I realized how the odds were stacked against me. I eventually accepted it.

[Friendlybro79]

Can't speak for most men when they start to think of it. The answer is some sooner than later and some not at all. I know I thought about it when I was in elementary school once when someone asked me who I wanted to marry.

If you mean when do they think about it for real... That's gonna vary.

[KrakenAttackin]

Most men have stopped thinking about marriage after seeing how their fathers and older brothers have been treated by their wives, the "family court" system, and seeing how men are portrayed in media.

Marriage offers absolutely nothing positive for men.

[Exterminatore]

Pretty accurate.

[msc545]

Agreed!

[Enaya]

When their pals get married and they start getting lonely. They follow the pack in general. That's why they often go for the woman who was there at the right time, not the right girl.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I was thinking about it since I was thirteen, hoping to meet someone. Now I know I won't, so I gave up.

[Marked_Man]

Most men aren't getting married nowadays. There's too much downside and no upside. Nothing men can't get outside of marriage.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex thought about it from the beginning, he really wanted a child with me as well.

[Exterminatore]

These days the more appropriate question would be: do guys start thinking about marriage.

[Anonymous]

As soon as marriage won't be such a raw deal for us. Especially in case of divorce and then having our money transferred to the ex-spouse (bonus points if she cheated).

[MementoMori777]

I don't know about others but for me it's when I'm financially settled

[LiamJHayden]

If they do not understand the laws, when they meet "The One."

If they do understand the laws, often never.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Normally men's talking about marriage around my age when they are young they want to have fun. Then when they hit their 30's they realize you can't be single forever

[sheikalana]

When they're financially comfortable I believe.

[Guardian45]

When they meet someone who makes them feel great and they can't imagine their life without them

[Christoff92]

They want to have an army. However this happens 😊

[Anonymous]

For me it’s 3 things. 1.) When I see how she is with kids. I want a good mother for my offsprings. 2.) When we want the same things out of life. 3.) If she has a low body count (such as I do). Can’t turn a hoe into a housewife 🤷🏻‍♂️

[loveslongnails]

In the USA, it's late 20's. The average age for males to marry is 30.4

[RockyHammock]

I've been thinking about marriage for the past year or so.

[Freyke]

Where we came from, where we are now, where we are going. When I feel like my life is complete now.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, honestly most guys I know my age think marriage is a bad idea for men now.

[tul88]

And what about having family? Do you and the guys you referred to, not want to have children?

[Opinion Owner]

@tul88 Many of us would love to have children, but that's part of the same set if problems, isn't it.

Men have fewer rights in both marriage and parenting. Divorce courts heavily favor women, AND women almost always get primary custody of the children and men, if they are lucky, get some visitation rights, plus the responsibility of child support and alimony.

Add to that the fact that half of marriages end in divorce, and women initiate 80% of them, because they are incentivized t do it. Divorce benefits women and hurts men.

Put yourself in a man's shoes and ask yourself honestly if you would choose to put yourself in that position. Most men would love to have a happy marriage and a family, but we see the reality today is that going down that road is a huge risk, and the odds of it turning out the way we want are getting smaller and smaller. For most men it's no longer worth the risk.

Men will always feel the need for sex, because that's a big part of nature's way of bringing us together with a woman to create a family and insure the perpetuation of humanity. But now that sex is so easily available outside of marriage, and marriage / children is something most men are no longer willing to risk, staying single and getting our sexual needs met outside of marriage seems like the better path to most men.

[tul88]

Thanks for clarifying. Being a woman, I actually am aware of the unfairness that’s dealt these days to men. I totally sympathize with men who are increasingly being exploited by selfish women.
I wish this was never the case and there could be better, stable and happier long lasting marriages/family and in turn, a stable society.
If I was a man, I would have done the same, what you explained about most men doing these days.
It’s ironical that woman like me who wants a good husband/family/kids has her own challenges and yet there are younger woman who are carelessly living through life, not valuing husband/family/kids and more after the next rich guy they can be with!

[Opinion Owner]

@tul88 The problem is the voices of good women like you are never heard in the public dialog about gender issues.

The narrative is ALWAYS that men are privleged and women are oppressed and disadvantaged. Where are the good women's voices speaking out against this? Nowhere. Men have no voice in the discussion because any guy who says anything about it is instantly labeled an incel and misogynist, so there is literally nothing men can do to create positive change. Any male politician who tries to do anything about it knows he will piss off half of his electorate and will never get reelected. It's career suicide.

ONLY women can change this, and none of them are willing to do it. And so nothing changes, the institution of marriage continues to go down the toilet and western society continues to deteriorate at an ever increasing rate. Good women stand by and watch it happen, unwilling to risk the criticism they will inevitably get from feminists.

So nothing will change as we continue down the road to the collapse of western society. And when it happens ALL women will be at fault... the ones selfishly taking advantage of a gynocentric system and deluding themselves into believing what they are doing is okay, AND the "good" women who see it happening but are too cowardly to do anything about it, even knowing they are the ONLY ones who can change it.

Harsh words, I know. But we both know they are true. Women need to stop worrying about getting their feelings hurt or hurting other women's feelings, and do something about the problem before it's too late.

[tul88]

I hear you! I wish I could bring in a change myself but I will definitely think about how I can start small.

[Opinion Owner]

@tul88 Thank you. That's all anyone can ask.

Cheers

[tul88]

Thank you too! Wish you the best in everything!

[Xtendable]

I thought about it initially when I found her, and had dated her for a few months. Prior to that I wasn't really looking for a wife

[Seppel]

I never wanted to marry because I don't see any good reason for it except taxes of course. I don't want kids so it's not worth the trouble

[AFretiredTXn]

I have 3 adult sons; 50, 47, and 41. Only 1 of them living with a girlfriend.

[Guanfei]

I started thinking about it when I was 17. But most men probably want it around 25-30.

[megabamse]

I bet after they turn 30

[Drumlin2001]

When they have a partner who wants it.

[genericname85]

when they're with a girl who's worth it.

[Mansearching]

When they find rt girl

[notwoke]

when they have no sense at all

[ManHater]

Depends on the woman...

[krin_m]

When you meet the right person!

[brad2525]

In their late 20s.

[Anonymous]

14 it think