How much do you think an engagement ring should cost?

Question

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

I am a retired jewelry store owner/goldsmith.
The old adage was 2 months' salary, coincidently that was initiated by DeBeers, the cartel that marketed diamonds.
Gee go figure.
Before I retired it really seemed to depend on each couple.
Many did not want a traditional engagement/wedding set and opted for a colored stone ring with a stone that she really liked.
I am in a blue collar area, and many guys couldn't wear a ring to work or on the farm, so they never got one, or just something inexpensive to wear at the ceremony.
And then there were a few that had to go in debt just so their diamond was larger than their friends.
I couldn't see spending that much.
I would rather put the money towards a house, but it was just what they had to have.
Sadly many marriages failed but the payments on the ring lasted way longer than the marriage.
They were so upside down in it that even if they could sell it for a decent price they still owed money on it.
Not a smart position to be in.
My suggestion is to figure out how much you are comfortable spending on it.
Get something too large and it is hard to wear.
Consider what you do for a living and if you can wear it to work.
I had many brides in health care that were going to wear their rings even at work, but within a few months of trying to get their gloves on and off 100 times a day they gave up on that and bought a plain wedding ring, or a nice anniversary band to wear at work.
The certain styles will need constant maintainance because of how the stones are set as they tend to lose diamonds all the time.
Stay away from micro pavee with shared prongs, and the new very thin rings with diamonds set in the band.
The trouble with those is that when they flex while wearing it the stones fall out so it will be in the shop quite often.
So do what works for you, not everyone else, and get something that you can afford, and after 25 years you can upgrade to a larger stone.
I had many guys wanting to do that for thier wives but they were too attached to their original ring and didn't want to trade it in.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Accepted Answer

I bought one for my first girlfriend (ex) and it cost me over $200.00, and she ended up breaking up with me so that was the end of our relationship, but I should have known better.

lachimolalalala · Accepted Answer

I have two personal opinions lol. Firstly, the cost of the ring honestly doesn’t matter to me, what matters is that the person truly loves me and is loyal etc., those traits are priceless. I’ve heard people saying that the cost of the ring = the worth of the person, I disagree with this. But if I have to give my opinion on a cost, then I suppose $1000 max is pretty decent, that is considering the specific style of ring I prefer though. Various styles, material and location (including country) bought will differ. I personally think anything near $10,000 -$20,000 is sort of insane. I also don’t necessarily agree with the “2 months salary” saying.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

I could be proposed to with a ring pop, and I’d still say yes! Do i have a dream ring? Yes. Its like $2800-3500. But I don't even care for rings like that. So i wouldn't care if the ring cost $100 or $1000. Its all about the meaning for me. I prefer dogtags and engraved jewelry over rings anyways

coachTanthony · Answer

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Effably · Answer

There's the oldschool 3 month's salary rule of thumb. In the end I just think you should figure out what sum is reasonable and go with that. You can always decide to upgrade it after if things change.

That said I am rather against the whole notion. For one diamonds are technically forbidden by the church historically as they go against the religious meaning of the ceremony. As is gold and silver for that matter.
More than that though, diamonds are easy to reproduce and only maintain their worth by the agreed upon monopoly that only allows a small portion onto the market every year. It is expensive not because it is rare, useful or precious but because some people did a bunch of ads and has since then illegally controlled the market.

But I don't really want to be a party pooper. I'd suggest looking at a whole bunch of rings together with your intended, maybe just online or something. You should get a decent feel for their style and price expectations from that. It also might be a rather sweet and endearing moment.

godfatherfan · Answer

There is never a mandatory cost. The whole "3 months salary" is the diamond industry trying to sell diamonds. 3 months salary is absurd and irresponsible. You need to get something that you can afford. Personally, I think you should go smaller (not tiny, just smaller) with the engagement ring,, then let her pick her own wedding ring. Many times you can get them to go together to make a larger ring. I paid $800 for my ex-wife's engagement ring in 1989. I was in the Air Force making $820 a month, but I was deep in dept at the time.

Kinda messed up that the guys have to pay a fortune for the women, then we get like a $100 wedding ring that we pay for also.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Not a ring person tbh. I honestly think it’d be cute if we got matching studded earrings but not many men like that idea 😅.

My fiancé and I can talk about something matching we could get each other. They don’t have to propose with anything. I’m really terrible with small things. That’s why I don’t wear jewelry. I always end up losing it. I don’t want to spend money on a ring or wedding. I’d rather spend it on a nice long honeymoon. I don’t have any thoughts on how much it should cost, my friend’s ring was like $300-400 and she loved it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

The ring that my paternal grandfather got for my grandmother was a plain 10K gold band. Even now I could one like it for $100 to $200 if I look around. I know because I wear it on my right pinky. If I could find a relationship like theirs I'd toss aside all my anti-marriage rhetoric and take the plunge.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

As someone that has NEVER been proposed in her life, I don't care about how much the ring cost. I'll accept a cheap ring. All that matters is him loving you enough to marry you. Many of us naturally already want to get married one day but the hard task is finding a man that wants that too.

Rei13 · Answer

I saw one that I really liked that was around $700. I feel like it could be $50 or a few thousand, whatever that looks nice and will last. I just worry if it is really pricy that something could happen to it where it gets lost or stolen and it would be a loss

MrKinktastic · Answer

The rule of thumb is one month’s salary. That way it scales with your income levels but does a reasonably good job of making sure you’ve really thought about it and have the self control/negative time preference necessary to be a good spouse.

That being said it’s the spirit of that sentiment that is important, not the dollar value itself.

Lorainperryxox · Answer

If there’s no real bond/chemistry between the two, then it doesn’t really matter what the cost of the engagement ring is. It could be the most expensive and they might end up divorcing due to lack of love…it’s not a good idea to be so materialistic. It doesn’t help make your relationship any better.

richardcory · Answer

Not much. It should be a symbol of love and commitment, not a bride price. My wife still wears the little inexpensive one I bought her all those decades ago as a poor college student.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

How much you want. Price doesn't really matter (maybe a little bit over 2€, so it lasts longer than a month) but its the gesture and meaning which counts.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I have never thought about it. Whatever he gave me I’d be happy. When I am in love I am a hopeless romantic.

Jersey2 · Answer

She will wear it for a lifetime one would hope. Make it something that you would be happy seeing with her in 10, 20, 30 years. Even if you get a bigger ring later, women will tell you the engagement ring is the one that matters to them and will continue to wear it. I got engaged with a 1 ct and much later bought a 4 ct. She only wears the 1 ct ring.

WonderBell99 · Answer

Eh, I don’t really care too much about my engagement ring as long as it’s of a good quality. I wouldn’t want it to cost more than $1500. Anything more than that sounds like a waste of money. Instead, you can spend it on your wedding.

Billlewis · Answer

As much as it needs to cost to make her happy? That's what my answer is.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

I want something really nice because I’ll wear it forever (hopefully) lol. But it really depends on what the man can provide. I won’t ask for something outside of his price range. Also you could always upgrade later on. But I do really like engagement rings and want something pretty.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Hopefully this makes sense but however much he can afford on one of his toys he can afford on a ring.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Just curious, do people sell their engagement ring after they buy the wedding ring? (If it's not one of those two-piece rings of course) And I mean normal people, not rich people lol

Iron_Man · Answer

I’m not sure, but a good appropriate one is a good diamond ring? Anything else doesn’t qualify?

jshm2 · Answer

Zero. It should be a family heirloom. But it's to make the fatherless gimps feel less ashamed, that the "must cost a months salary" bollocks has come about.

How much do you think an engagement ring should cost?

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