I am a retired jewelry store owner/goldsmith.
The old adage was 2 months' salary, coincidently that was initiated by DeBeers, the cartel that marketed diamonds.
Gee go figure.
Before I retired it really seemed to depend on each couple.
Many did not want a traditional engagement/wedding set and opted for a colored stone ring with a stone that she really liked.
I am in a blue collar area, and many guys couldn't wear a ring to work or on the farm, so they never got one, or just something inexpensive to wear at the ceremony.
And then there were a few that had to go in debt just so their diamond was larger than their friends.
I couldn't see spending that much.
I would rather put the money towards a house, but it was just what they had to have.
Sadly many marriages failed but the payments on the ring lasted way longer than the marriage.
They were so upside down in it that even if they could sell it for a decent price they still owed money on it.
Not a smart position to be in.
My suggestion is to figure out how much you are comfortable spending on it.
Get something too large and it is hard to wear.
Consider what you do for a living and if you can wear it to work.
I had many brides in health care that were going to wear their rings even at work, but within a few months of trying to get their gloves on and off 100 times a day they gave up on that and bought a plain wedding ring, or a nice anniversary band to wear at work.
The certain styles will need constant maintainance because of how the stones are set as they tend to lose diamonds all the time.
Stay away from micro pavee with shared prongs, and the new very thin rings with diamonds set in the band.
The trouble with those is that when they flex while wearing it the stones fall out so it will be in the shop quite often.
So do what works for you, not everyone else, and get something that you can afford, and after 25 years you can upgrade to a larger stone.
I had many guys wanting to do that for thier wives but they were too attached to their original ring and didn't want to trade it in.00 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
+1 yI bought one for my first girlfriend (ex) and it cost me over $200.00, and she ended up breaking up with me so that was the end of our relationship, but I should have known better.
13 Reply- +1 y
Wow š
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Thanks for MHO :)
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No problem
+1 yI have two personal opinions lol. Firstly, the cost of the ring honestly doesnāt matter to me, what matters is that the person truly loves me and is loyal etc., those traits are priceless. Iāve heard people saying that the cost of the ring = the worth of the person, I disagree with this. But if I have to give my opinion on a cost, then I suppose $1000 max is pretty decent, that is considering the specific style of ring I prefer though. Various styles, material and location (including country) bought will differ. I personally think anything near $10,000 -$20,000 is sort of insane. I also donāt necessarily agree with the ā2 months salaryā saying.
10 Reply
- 647 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 yI could be proposed to with a ring pop, and Iād still say yes! Do i have a dream ring? Yes. Its like $2800-3500. But I don't even care for rings like that. So i wouldn't care if the ring cost $100 or $1000. Its all about the meaning for me. I prefer dogtags and engraved jewelry over rings anyways
75 Reply- +1 y
Gosh youāre so cute
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Haha
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@nawtee_me aww thats nice. Even if it wasn't engraved, iād wear it cause its a dogtag
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Thanks for mho @trillxhippy
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36Opinion
+1 y
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40 ReplyThere's the oldschool 3 month's salary rule of thumb. In the end I just think you should figure out what sum is reasonable and go with that. You can always decide to upgrade it after if things change.
That said I am rather against the whole notion. For one diamonds are technically forbidden by the church historically as they go against the religious meaning of the ceremony. As is gold and silver for that matter.
More than that though, diamonds are easy to reproduce and only maintain their worth by the agreed upon monopoly that only allows a small portion onto the market every year. It is expensive not because it is rare, useful or precious but because some people did a bunch of ads and has since then illegally controlled the market.
But I don't really want to be a party pooper. I'd suggest looking at a whole bunch of rings together with your intended, maybe just online or something. You should get a decent feel for their style and price expectations from that. It also might be a rather sweet and endearing moment.16 Reply- +1 y
That seems reasonable
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3 MONTHS salary? Why? That seems insane. Remember its really the combined money that is being spent - since once you are married, you are sharing assets. Basically the bride is spending a huge amount of HER money on it.
You are right that diamond prices are artificially inflated by a huge amount. The technology exists to synthesize them as well - jsut they always add yellow color to make them ugly (for industrial use only) so DeBeers doesn't get upset. (and possibly kill them).
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3 months is the narrative these very same diamond distributors made a thing. It is however the most recent historical frame of reference that a large amount of people have agreed on. So for a lovestruck person wanting a socially expected figure that people will agree with? That's the best figure we have. The second best if in the U. S is 6000$. That's the supposed average at the moment.
I assure you I personally find it bananas. But I am also a cynic who points holes at most things and more importantly not about to marry anytime soon. The church historically forbids any fancy wedding rings. The real origin is wreathes of flowers and alike. Copper was really daring and scandalously wrong when it came around. Silver and Gold? Sinful. The church was openly outraged as this misrepresentation of a holy ceremony. Diamonds might have made the church condemn you openly.
I also as mentioned find it absolutely silly to pay an artificially inflated price rather than have an artificial diamond made that would be more impressive in every way - and just as real. A lab diamond is in every single metric the exact same as a real one. Difference? Way cheaper, not mined but created through the same but sped up process. Other than that, identical. So I am all with you, synthetic diamonds are the way if you like diamonds. But its just a thug-driven monopoly.
Personally I prefer silver. Most aesthetically pleasing to me. So I'd rather have that. If my S. O wanted a diamond she'd get one. It means nothing to me, I find it silly, but I can indulge some irrational silliness if it makes her happy.
While I know I went on a whole tirade and tangent, I really agree with everything you said. Its just, my view on it isn't very informative for the question. I did include it too though. More than once!
+1 yThere is never a mandatory cost. The whole "3 months salary" is the diamond industry trying to sell diamonds. 3 months salary is absurd and irresponsible. You need to get something that you can afford. Personally, I think you should go smaller (not tiny, just smaller) with the engagement ring,, then let her pick her own wedding ring. Many times you can get them to go together to make a larger ring. I paid $800 for my ex-wife's engagement ring in 1989. I was in the Air Force making $820 a month, but I was deep in dept at the time.
Kinda messed up that the guys have to pay a fortune for the women, then we get like a $100 wedding ring that we pay for also.
20 ReplyNot a ring person tbh. I honestly think itād be cute if we got matching studded earrings but not many men like that idea 😅.
My fiancé and I can talk about something matching we could get each other. They donāt have to propose with anything. Iām really terrible with small things. Thatās why I donāt wear jewelry. I always end up losing it. I donāt want to spend money on a ring or wedding. Iād rather spend it on a nice long honeymoon. I donāt have any thoughts on how much it should cost, my friendās ring was like $300-400 and she loved it.
10 Reply- 363 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 yThe ring that my paternal grandfather got for my grandmother was a plain 10K gold band. Even now I could one like it for $100 to $200 if I look around. I know because I wear it on my right pinky. If I could find a relationship like theirs I'd toss aside all my anti-marriage rhetoric and take the plunge.
22 Reply- +1 y
Oh alright fair enough.
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My wife's and my wedding rings are plane gold bands. No markings (unless maybe if you throw them in a fire...)
+1 yAs someone that has NEVER been proposed in her life, I don't care about how much the ring cost. I'll accept a cheap ring. All that matters is him loving you enough to marry you. Many of us naturally already want to get married one day but the hard task is finding a man that wants that too.
30 ReplyI saw one that I really liked that was around $700. I feel like it could be $50 or a few thousand, whatever that looks nice and will last. I just worry if it is really pricy that something could happen to it where it gets lost or stolen and it would be a loss
20 Reply
+1 yThe rule of thumb is one monthās salary. That way it scales with your income levels but does a reasonably good job of making sure youāve really thought about it and have the self control/negative time preference necessary to be a good spouse.
That being said itās the spirit of that sentiment that is important, not the dollar value itself.10 Reply
+1 yIf thereās no real bond/chemistry between the two, then it doesnāt really matter what the cost of the engagement ring is. It could be the most expensive and they might end up divorcing due to lack of loveā¦itās not a good idea to be so materialistic. It doesnāt help make your relationship any better.
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+1 yNot much. It should be a symbol of love and commitment, not a bride price.
My wife still wears the little inexpensive one I bought her all those decades ago as a poor college student.
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Thatās great to hear. Still going strong š«”
+1 yHow much you want. Price doesn't really matter (maybe a little bit over 2ā¬, so it lasts longer than a month) but its the gesture and meaning which counts.
11 Reply- +1 y
I respect that
She will wear it for a lifetime one would hope. Make it something that you would be happy seeing with her in 10, 20, 30 years. Even if you get a bigger ring later, women will tell you the engagement ring is the one that matters to them and will continue to wear it. I got engaged with a 1 ct and much later bought a 4 ct. She only wears the 1 ct ring.
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+1 yI have never thought about it. Whatever he gave me Iād be happy. When I am in love I am a hopeless romantic.
11 Reply- +1 y
Aww ok
+1 yEh, I donāt really care too much about my engagement ring as long as itās of a good quality. I wouldnāt want it to cost more than $1500. Anything more than that sounds like a waste of money. Instead, you can spend it on your wedding.
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Even $1500 is a bit of a stretch.
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This
As much as it needs to cost to make her happy? That's what my answer is.
17 Reply- +1 y
Haha no I think he's serious.
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@BoopBoopBeep One of the leading jewelers ran a commercial stating that an engagement ring should cost two months salary, so maybe that's appropriate.
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Yeah I remember. I also remember laughing at that then. Hmmm two months of HER salary I can see. I'd never spend two months what I make on something you can drop down the drain. I'll take 3 weeks unpaid leave then we'll factor that in for the month and double it. Maybe.
Actually the women that I was willing to marry were similarly unimpressed with that notion, much to my enjoyment.
Whoever it is, I can seriously say "less than it would take that you'd have to borrow/finance it" Don't want to start off a serious relationship by taking on that kind of depreciating debt, and even more so if it would still be getting paid off into the marriage. - +1 y
Only reason I asked this question was because I was watching a video. A male officer said 4K but a female officer said 10k
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I've found so many women under 30 have no concept of money and are sickeningly in debt. How old was she? Any idea what their respective salaries are? If she's making 200 and he's making 40 that changes my opinion of her.
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I don't know her salary or her age sadly. Thatās fair enough
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I think there's a point of diminishing returns. If you're about to get a big promo at work and you have no debt, splurge a little if you want. If you're barely scraping by get something from the middle of the mall for $99 and call it a day. I think it would be somewhat ludicrous to put two months (someone said three) of my salary into a ring that would not be noticeably better to most people than something a fraction of that cost would be.
+1 yI want something really nice because Iāll wear it forever (hopefully) lol. But it really depends on what the man can provide. I wonāt ask for something outside of his price range. Also you could always upgrade later on. But I do really like engagement rings and want something pretty.
00 Reply- 633 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 yHopefully this makes sense but however much he can afford on one of his toys he can afford on a ring.
11 Reply- +1 y
Makes sense š
+1 yJust curious, do people sell their engagement ring after they buy the wedding ring? (If it's not one of those two-piece rings of course)
And I mean normal people, not rich people lol10 Reply1.2K opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Iām not sure, but a good appropriate one is a good diamond ring? Anything else doesnāt qualify?
11 Reply- +1 y
Sure thing
Zero. It should be a family heirloom.
But it's to make the fatherless gimps feel less ashamed, that the "must cost a months salary" bollocks has come about.
10 ReplyVery little, its a placeholder, it's the wedding ring that should last. So wasting money on a period that should be less than a year, seems so wrong.
10 ReplyWell considering it wasn't even a thing amoung common people until the diamond industry started selling engagement rings in the mid 20th century. 1950ish. Its Its something that can go away in my mind.
10 Reply
+1 yThe cheaper you can get a decent looking one the better.
Same for the wedding.
Money is better spent on the honeymoon or on your lives than a piece of metal with a stone in it that is frankly more worthy as an abrasive.
Any girl who understands this is a keeper. The wedding industry is a MASSIVE shakedown.00 ReplyWhatever he can afford without putting himself into debt
20 ReplyMy wife's engagement ring cost $3200, and that was with a blue stone (sapphire, like she wanted), with smaller diamonds around the side.
Was probably a bit too much, but I got a good deal and it's what she wanted.
Any woman who DEMANDS an expensive ring isn't wife material.
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+1 ySince it's a divorce down-payment, one should be able to work something out.
10 ReplyFor me I would be happy with a 50 to a hundred dollar ring. For her anywhere from 1500 to 3000 for. Engagement and wedding ring but I would want it custom made with the right stones it it
00 Reply- 420 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 yWhatever the client is willing to pay
I've chopped rings worth £100 or so and seen a few rings that retailed in the million pound range10 Reply
+1 yMy dream ring, which I got, is crazy expensive but Iād have said yes to a a tiny bit of plastic or paper
10 Reply
+1 yI don't know... just enough to get her in bed maybe? ¯\_(ć)_/¯
10 Reply
+1 yAn engagement ring will probably cost you more in the long run & just remember the three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring & suffering.
00 ReplyDoesnāt matter, as long as it not a ring that has a diamond on it. I just donāt find it beautiful.
Cost doesnāt matter to me.00 Reply
+1 yIt doesnāt even have to be a ring, it could be something like a royalty donut. One of the many perks of being a Giga Chad.
10 ReplyI just want it to look pretty and to last. You could buy me a replica of the lord of the rings one for a few bucks and I would be happy.
00 Reply
+1 yIāve got no idea. Apparently itās half a manās pay check or half a months income
10 Reply
+1 yI don't care about the price I just want it to be the type of cut/diamond I always dreamed of and no fake metals/diamonds/stones.
00 Reply
+1 yDoesn't matter. I oooh and ahh over rings that look like engagement rings that are only $80
00 ReplySome articles I've read says about a 1 month salary. Others said 2 months salary.
10 ReplySo long as itās durable, which costs minimum 500-1000 for that kinda material. Itās important to get her something that will last your entire relationship which could hopefully be 70 years.
00 Reply
+1 yI think ring pops go for about 1.60$ these days. If it worked for Deadpool it should work for you
10 Reply
+1 yPersonally I don't care if the ring is inexpensive as long as it doesn't turn my finger green. I wouldn't want my boyfriend spending over $1000 though.
00 Reply
+1 y$0 - Engagement rings are a right and should be free for everyone.
00 ReplyBased on how much he earns. Obviously wealthier men can afford more expensive ones.
00 Reply100 tops is what I'd spend. Yes, I'm including the ones on Wish and Temu lol
00 Reply1.1K opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Its value is not important to me.
10 Reply
+1 yBetween 20 and 30 dollars
10 ReplyDonāt plan to get married so I donāt know 🤷āāļø
20 Reply
+1 yZero, big waste of money
10 Reply
+1 yits not very important, so not much
10 Reply461 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. $ 0 GEtting married is stupid.
16 Reply- +1 y
The better question is how much do you spend on the prenuptial agreement?
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I'm very happy to see that there are so many grounded women on here.
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It worked for me. No regrets a few decades in. Just have to pick carefully
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@BoopBoopBeep The problem with a prenup is the fact that Judges can and do nullify them if they don't like them for whatever reason. Usually, because they want to give the woman even more. NEVER because they think the man is getting trashed. I would not waste my time and money getting one at all - it ould not protect me.
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Not in my state. prenupsp are actually honord here. plus you can't take half of zero and other than my pension nothing's in my name
+1 yDepends on how much you make
00 Reply
+1 yJust enough not to turn her finger green.
10 Reply2700 euros.
10 Reply
+1 yas cheap as possible. Maybe even dot use diamonds
00 Reply
+1 y$20 or less.
00 Reply- 414 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 y$0.0. Don't do it.
10 Reply
+1 y500 ~ 2000
10 Reply
+1 y10% of your income
01 Reply- +1 y
10% of your income? Nice
- 628 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 y$300 bucks max.
00 Reply
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