How much do you think an engagement ring should cost?

[Anonymous]

Next to nothing or no ring at all

50-200$

300-500$

1k

2-3k

5k

10k+

[coachTanthony]

Just the right price.

[Asker]

Five people thought you were being serious 😭

[coachTanthony]

Ha Ha ha

[LiamJHayden]

lol at this site. Poor Coach. Someone could ask him his name and his stalkers would still disagree.

[coachTanthony]

@LiamJHayden LOL the obsession is kinda flattering

[Screenwriter]

Right. What you can afford. And... it's a funny tradition that appears to be from the 20th century and created by dianmond purveyors. A man hangs a hunk of coal on a woman's finger to announce that she will be married to him and the bigger the hunk, the more impressed other women and men are of his ability to provide for her.

A lot of creepy attached to that. I'd buy the female a string of pearls. Get a man a specially made ring that's not a wedding band. Seems to me there should be engagement jewelry for BOTH parties. A bracelet for either sex with engraving inside. Doesn't have to be thousands of dollars. It's the sentiment. Something lovely and tasteful is more impressive than a dollar amount.

[coachTanthony]

@Screenwriter I wouldn't mind getting matching smart rings that monitors our health then anything else.

[Screenwriter]

Well that could work too!!

[bayoubob]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6Kpb8K0BOM

[letuswaltzforthedead]

There's no should and it honestly sounds like a pretty blinded decision if you spend more than a couple hundreds on a ring (even wedding rings even though they're damn expensive for no good reason).

I understand the decision though, it's a way to show your love and to some couples, it's even expected. That is the only part I understand and respect. Anything more and it's laughable if the relationship doesn't work out.

As for should, it shouldn't be expected to cost anything. If you really love a partner who gets you gifts and stuff, that's understandable but it's entitled if you actually "expect" anything of a certain price. ESPECIALLY a $1,000+ ring.

[Vesuvius87]

As a woman that has never been given an engagement ring in her life, I wouldn't ask for much. It can be a cheap ring or whatever ring he wants (up to him). Him opening that gate and getting me out of the ''going nowhere, eternal dating stage'' would be one of my greatest feat in life; a man considering me his wife and not just a girlfriend.

It's the symbol in itself that matters, the fact that you are considering me of something valuable, a treasure, a life partner and not just a girlfriend.

[BCRanger10]

I think a man should spend whatever he can within his means. If he can and wants to spend $300 to $500, great. If he can and wants to spend upwards of $1,000, great.

For my part, when my wife and I were seriously moving towards getting engaged, my mother offered me my grandmother's engagement ring and wedding band. I did not ask for them, and as a matter of fact, I didn't even know that she had them. We had to get them cleaned and sized, but that was about it.

[AviatorTom]

It depends in the couple and what the guy can reasonably afford. I've known couples who spend $500 on the ring and others who spend $20,000.

[Asker]

100% agree! It depends on circumstances too. Like If the guy makes low income and has a kid he supports, I’d assume that would be priority and I’d respect that. But if another guy makes the same amount and spends thousands on video games a year, I’d have a different standard.

[ShellyB]

Yes, for many people (not everybody) this is a "put your money where your mouth is" type situation, complaining it is expensive is OK sometimes and a warning sign other times I think, depending on factors like this, a guy with a nice car and other expensive stuff who wants to go cheap on the engagement ring COULD be taken to mean the relationship is a lower priority than other things. On the other hand a guy who really does have other important things like you mentioned a child to take care of, it is fair for that stuff to come first. I think people who automatically say "the ring shouldn't be expensive because it is not practical" are either looking at it from a certain perspective (which is OK just understand not everybody looks at it that way) or have not thought it through as far as what you are symbolizing or what message the ring is making about what is important to you. JMO!

[Asker]

@ShellyB exactly!!

[Guy13]

A good one will run 10,000 plus in today's market.

[SnowedIn]

I couldn't select from the list. I don't think there is a "should". It needs to work for that couple. I know couples for whom neither likes a ring. They each just wear a wedding band -- she specifically didn't want an engagement ring. I know a woman who told her husband she wanted 5 carats. He bought it. Others spend too much and others are clueless. This is a great part of a couple getting to know each other -- if a ring of a specific size or cost or something else is important to her, she needs to let him know. A ring shouldn't be a litmus test or a guessing game.

[Asker]

Pick for you specifically then

[SnowedIn]

Good call. :) I wanted a 1 carat near flawless diamond and that's what I saved for and bought for my fiancée. I was old school east coast and my mother believed that rings should have large stones but not ostentatious. I think I paid $2,000 for the engagement ring in 1996.

[Asker]

Aw, yeah I’d say you went above and beyond. See for me it’s just about it being more than an afterthought. The cost isn’t really the major concern, just that it’s something he had to work towards. I’d be really appreciative towards just a 1k ring in current times, or else if he spent 50hours learning and practicing to make his own ring (there’s so many videos on it, all you need are dads power tools and some bolts! 😆)
If I costs less than a dinner while he has no issue spending thousands on himself just to get videogames, feels sorta like a tell tail sign that he’s not very good at being selfless or considerate.

[SnowedIn]

That is REALLY cool. Did not know you could make your own.

Here's a sweet story: I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings right before we got married. They're 1/2 carat on each ear. Our two oldest boys have serious relationships and we've told them that if they decide to propose they may, if they wish, take one of mom's diamonds and have that made into a ring.

[ShellyB]

I think it is a personal decision, different people are thinking about different factors. The old traditional line is three months salary (of the guy), but I do not think most people literally follow that. For some people that seems unfair, ridiculous or wasteful, for other people, the ring is a commitment to something important so it is appropriate for it to be expensive, it is symbolic of the number one thing in their life.

I think as long as both partners are happy it is fine if it is expensive or cheap, or in between, or even purely symbolic like a piece of string you tie around her finger. JMO!

[ShellyB]

By the way they say the average in the U. S. is $6K although I am not sure I believe that.

[Adaeva]

In my case, in a few years, I would be happy with a 3/4 carat near flawless diamond (about $2,500) or 2 to 4 weeks salary. However, if he is still in college, I would accept a ring with a simulated diamond. We could replace it later or not because just the wedding ring would do.

[Anemone978]

At least a $1000 If he can buy a phone he can buy a ring lol

[Asker]

Exactly, though 1k is a lot for a phone too 😭 but I agree. Most gaming pcs are 2k and systems are often 500$ alone not to mention the games and remotes. Which is fine to get things like that for himself, but it’s weird if he doesn’t wanna treat the love of his life the same way he does himself.

[ArtemisSilver]

I think that unless you're both very wealthy than simple gold bands should suffice so 500-700$ each.

Don't have too get fancy but a little heft is good for a wedding ring.

If you're flat broke then just do a knot tieing ceremony. You can always get rings as an anniversary celebration when you've found success together.

The important thing is that you eo something meaningful and within your means.

[jorfan3]

I've never understood why an engagement ring should have a dollar set limit. My ring cost a little under $1000. I picked it out on Etsy, and I love it.

The ring should take legitimate effort to obtain, but putting a dollar expectation on the man/woman proposing is stressful, especially if you don't make a lot of money in the first place.

[Asker]

I agree, for me it’s just about being something they work towards and saved for a little bit. I think 1k sounds super reasonable, but most people would lose their shit at that amount! As well as at that price, it’s enough where the ring likely will stand the rest of your lifetime and maybe another for your grandchild ☺️
I’m not cheap or a gold digger either, I’ve spent hundreds to thousands on an ex in the past myself. It’s more about them proving themselves selfless, not about it being stressful. Many of these men spend thousands a year or two on just videogames alone, just for themselves. Men who get mad at the request for a little sacrifice probably shouldn’t be getting married.

[jorfan3]

I'll agree with your logic, and understand why you might expect a ring that costs a little more if they spend that much on video games.

Just because a ring costs a lot doesn't mean it will last forever either. Rings can lose diamonds!

[Asker]

Oh I don’t need real diamonds or anything, I just want a band that won’t rust a month after wearing lol

[jorfan3]

Hahaha! Right!

[xJeremyx]

Honestly that ring is more symbolic than anything. My ex-instructor has a decently rich husband who proposed to her with a ring that was handmade from red string. And she loved it!

It does not have to cost much. Honestly a nice silver band/ring is more than good enough if that woman (or man, if the woman is proposing) actually loves him (her).

[Asker]

A handmade one is just as good in my opinion. For me it’s really about the time spent. Either fifty hours crafting a beautiful handmade gift, or 50hours of extra work trying to pay for it. Some men aren’t as creative or artistically in tuned so it’s the same concept for them

[xJeremyx]

Keep in mind you have to expect the same level of effort from yourself too. You simply can't expect that from a man and not be willing to shower him with love too.

Also, is it fair to expect the same for women who want to propose to their boyfriends?

[Asker]

Uh, no lol. There’s separate traditions. I love my last name, it connects me to my father. But I’ll take his even though I’ll be sacrificing a huge part of myself. All relationships have give and take. You don’t directly do the exact same thing for the exact same thing.

[xJeremyx]

I mean, in the event the girl wants to propose. I do believe she should also spend reasonably if she wants to put a ring on him.

[Asker]

If she’s that modern she’ll probably make him take her last name, so if it’s fair then sure

[xJeremyx]

Its up to the couple I guess. Honestly this kind of thing can't be dictated by a norm or standard. Its individualised according to the couple and their style

[Asker]

Would you be fine taking her ring for a 1k ring? Cuz a lot of women do it for less every day and most the men in the comments want her to do it for nothing 😭
My point is it’s a double standard. There’s hardly any men who are fine with a woman not giving their children his name let alone taking hers himself. It is symbolic, which is why it’s hurtful to a traditional woman who values traditions and symbolism when he half asses it with garbage he afforded with last weeks pocket change

[xJeremyx]

To me, names are insignificant. They used to be a symbol of belonging; i. e. I belonged to a particular house. Yes its a bloodline, but that does not define who I call family. I would be fine if my partner did not want to take my last name. Even better, what if we changed our name together, or give the children both of our last names? I think thats a nice idea actually.

My whole POV is not centred around the price of stuff. As long as it is done with sincerity, I am a happy man. Eg. if my future partner popped the question to me with a simple string loop that took her like half an hour to make, I'd be more than happy to say yes.

My worth as a partner is not defined by how much my partner spends on me, rather it is defined by how much my partner wants and needs me.

[Asker]

If your wife wanted you and your kids to have your last name, that would be reasonable to you?

[xJeremyx]

I would prefer to have both our names, and for my wife to do the same, in that case.

[xJeremyx]

If they wanted to take my last name, I'm ok with that. If she wanted to stick with her own last name, I'm ok with that, but I would want to stick with mine too. The kids will share our names.

[Asker]

Exactly my point. Women will give up their name and it’s often expected of them as a given; nobody really considers how hard that might be. But given a situation where she spends 1k on a ring for you, you can’t even hypothetically consider just taking her name if that’s what she would want, and you seem modern. My point is just that if a man wants her to take his name or even just the kids to, then he should be fine working a little harder to get her something at least durable.

[xJeremyx]

Me sticking with my own name is a preference. I can give it up if need be, but I want to keep it if possible. I mean, who in the world has the family name "Pee"? I want to hold onto my family name cuz its a rare name.

But it's just a name, and if it makes her happy, I would at least give it some thought.

And realise that I never said I expected her to change her last name to mine. I mentioned earlier on that I am ok with her keeping her last name.

You flipped the scenario on me and asked if I would take her last name, and I said preferably not. So in the interest of fairness I must allow the same choices for her as well.

[xJeremyx]

And I dont want her spending 1k on a ring for me in the first place. If she really wanted to, even something below 50 bucks will make me happy.

I'd rather her save the money for the wedding or honeymoon.

[xJeremyx]

But, when you love someone, you naturally want to spend on them, so I dont really think the ring price would be an issue. I would gladly splurge a bit when I buy my future partner a ring. Not because she is taking my last name, but because I love her.

[Asker]

That’s a big part of my point too. People try and gaslight a girl for being disappointed if her fiancé doesn’t like her enough to spend anything on her when she knows he can afford it. It’s like getting nothing on Valentine’s Day except this is a lot more important. He’s showing his true colors by cheaping out and being selfish and the guys who get mad at a girl for not wanting that kind of man get defensive.
I wouldn’t be attracted to a guy who refuses to tip either and that’s not even about him being selfless to me, but how he treats others.

[xJeremyx]

I am gonna use gender-neutral terms here. If the proposer really is being cheap and using some knockoff ring, then yeah thats a cause for concern. Like, at least get a silver ring. Silver is not even that expensive. And have the design customised to something meaningful to them. That way, you can avoid spending loads on a ring but still make sure your partner knows you are serious about them.

The problem arises when a girl expects something like a 1k ring from her man and is not willing to do the same for her man if the scenario gets flipped around. For me personally, thats where the whole issue begins. I will make sure I do not end up with a lady who does not reciprocate my effort in her own way. Its a parrallel to the whole "If he/she loved me, he/she would do this for me, but I don't want to put in the same amount of effort" attitude, which I do not endorse because of the self-entitlement that it entails.

Tipping is not a thing where I am from, so there's that. But I still would expect my future partner to be respectful to others as well. I don't like snobbish, stuck-up and rude people.

I guess you could say it is difficult to be my partner, but it is what it is. Maybe I should just remain single 😂😂

Also, I appreciate that you are not being argumentative. Its a welcome relief from all those people in G@G desperate to prove a point.

[xJeremyx]

Fundamentally, I think it is super important for everyone, regardless of gender to constantly rethink their expectations for their partners based on whether they are willing to do the same for their partner in a theoretically flipped scenario (while ignoring social norms and double standards).

If the answer is no or unclear, then clearly both partners are not on the same level.

Thats exactly why I said I would accept if she wanted to keep her own name, because if she asked me to take hers, I would prefer not to. So I cannot expect her to take my name either.

[Asker]

There’s two sides to every relationship, of course. That’s why I said it’s not, “here are chocolates because you gave me chocolates. Here is a massage because you gave me a massage”
I’m speaking in the case of a healthy and balanced relationship. The woman often gives her name, and more often than that she gives birth to their children. But not only that, women also give gifts, they’re romantic and sweet. Women more often take care of housework even if they work the same amount.
It’s not a game to constantly try to even things out, that’s not a healthy relationship. I was only bringing up the last name to point out most women go much further than a ring that cost a week and or twos wages.

[Asker]

Traditions are healthy and good, I don’t like the idea of tossing them out. But if you do, you can’t simply toss out the ones that are inconvenient to you specifically or the ones only you do not care about.
For me I don’t really care to have a wedding even though I’d like a nice engagement ring, but if he wanted a wedding I’d be open to it. If he didn’t want to get me an engagement ring at all, I don’t think it would be fair for him to expect me to then take his last name.

[xJeremyx]

Let me rephrase my last comment. Thank you for correcting me.

"Fundamentally, I think it is essential for everyone, regardless of gender, to constantly re-evaluate their expectations for their partners based on whether they are willing to put in the same amount of effort that the expect from their partner, although it may not be done in the same way as what they want for their partner.

If the answer is no or unclear, then clearly both partners are not on the same level."

[xJeremyx]

I would say we can come to the common consensus that effort and commitment from both parties has to be at the same level, although both individuals have different ways to put in effort and show commitment.

[Asker]

Eh, I disagree again. Sometimes it won’t be completely level, and that’s life. Maybe they went through a miscarriage and the wife took it harder; dealing with depression. It might be 90% to 10%. Maybe the husband lost his job and the wife needs to put in effort to comfort him and help job search on top of her own regular responsibilities, maybe it’ll be 70% to 30%. Maybe someone’s parent died, maybe someone had surgery… if you’re keeping score, it’s really effective. If you also keep score of times you’re partner hurt your feelings as well as times you were nice to them; you’ll only ever be fighting against one another. You’re a team, you’re not competing.

[xJeremyx]

Or at least thats what I expect of myself. I expect myself to match her level of effort and commitment.

And honestly loads of these issues can be resolved with effective communication. People simply expect their partner to know what they expect without giving examples of how their partner can meet those expectations.

But like I mentioned, expectations still have to be realistic. And for myself, i use the flipped scenario to determine how realistic my expectations are.

[xJeremyx]

You're correct. Its not about keeping score. But to me, it is very important that my partner is willing to contribute as much as I do.

Maybe I should have made it clearer. I do not expect my partner to actually match my contribution at any point in time, but I want her to at least be willing to do so, in her own way. Key word, willing.

E. g. wife just had a baby, and I am willing to take over most of her household chores and duties so she can heal and rest, but I want her to be willing to put in the same amount of effort if, for example, I needed to stop working temporarily for health reasons.

That effort is not quantifiable, but to me it is estimatable. But thats not what's important. What matters is that I am willing to do what I can to assist her or make her happy, and I would want the same attitude from her.

[Asker]

Exactly, that’s why I’m saying is if you get her an engagement ring, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t do her own level of work into the relationship through being romantic or giving gifts. Asking for a ring for a ring is what I’m saying is silly, that’s not how it works.

[xJeremyx]

Another thing I want to highlight is the willingness to put yourself in your partner's shoes. It is important to express empathy, and that is done by considering the flipped scenario like what I mentioned earlier. I also said it is hypothetical because like you mentioned, there's no way of making it 50/50, or replicating the exact same scenario IRL. But what is important is that *willingness* to go the extra mile for your partner, as much as they would do it for you.

[xJeremyx]

And I did not mean "a ring for a ring" in the literal sense. Its just a hypothetical analogy I often use to gauge my own expectations of a partner, by comparing what I want from them vs what I am willing to do from them.

[xJeremyx]

do for them*

[Asker]

I mean I’ve just spent five hours mapping out the blueprints for the desserts I’m designing which will likely take another ten to make and compile for my boyfriends valentines gifts. I did that because I love him and wanted to. I’m not thinking about what he does for me for Valentine’s Day. Even a Bouquet of flowers would make me overjoyed to where I might cry, because they’d be special and it meant he’d been paying attention. (I hinted at them) in that case, there is opportunity to directly give gift to gift, but the level of difference isn’t such a big deal so long as it’s heartfelt. When it comes to an engagement ring, it isn’t a direct exchange in the same way, but I think her giving the name is about right if that’s how you want to view it. To be honest, if I could choose to swap traditions I would be happy to pay 2k to buy a ring if it meant I got to keep my dads name and also have the name of my husband and kids.

[Asker]

Or more even. Not that he has to pay that much, I’m just saying emotionally what I’m asking for is worth a lot more than what I’m expecting. I’m not going to be happy if I don’t get anything for valentines, but I will be overjoyed if I even get just what I asked for that took less time and money to get.

[xJeremyx]

I like that you highlighted something close to my heart when it comes to relationships, which is paying attention to what your partner likes and wants.

Honestly there is no better way to express your love for your partner than in the way he/she likes it. It makes them realise that you care enough to take note of their personal tastes, that you are genuinely interested in the relationship. Does not have to be exactly what he/she wants, but for example if your boyfriend enjoys bowling and you bought him some new bowling shoe soles (does not have to be expensive), it just makes it that much sweeter. Does not have to be a new bowling ball, which is super expensive.

However, I expect myself to match my partner in terms of effort. And it would be nice if my partner does the same for me, in her own way. Its just my preference. And showing appreciation is mega important too. I cannot keep loving my partner if she does not show appreciation. I also make it a point to show appreciation, even if it means simple things like thanking service staff and complimenting them.

[xJeremyx]

Would you mind following my account so I can follow you back? I really like the way you bring your point across and I am really enjoying this discussion. Its not everyday I get to have a nice, in-depth conversation with someone who brings across their points peacefully and thoughtfully, and I would love to see more of your opinions and questions.

I'm not trying to get followers by the way, in case you are wondering.

[Asker]

Ok, but I don’t really dm much

[xJeremyx]

Don't worry, i'm not interested in dm's.

[TenderFantasy]

The price don't matter to me. It's who I am marrying that matters the most.

I accepted an $8 Walmart engagement ring from an ex-fiance of mine. That's how in love I was! Long story of why he's an ex, but he was VERY close to becoming my husband at one point so there haha.

[Purpleronnie]

The cost of the ring should be irrelevant, it’s what it symbolizes that really matters. Sadly too much emphasis is put on diamonds and other precious stones and metals. Some guys ruin themselves financially getting expensive rings for materialistic women , it’s truly disgusting , credit should never be used to buy it , it should only be saved for if possible at all.

[genericname85]

i think 300-500€ would be more than enough. because the marital ring is supposed to be the "real deal" right? there's nothing that legally binds someone to sticking to an engagement. they can just walk away from you and therefore walk away with whatever that ring cost you. so i wouldn't cheap out on that one and safe it up for the wedding ring.

[Asker]

Well I think that’s part of the point of it.
For me though I don’t mind just a 50$ tattoo wedding ring, because it’s not the same. An engagement ring is about the man sacrificing time spent working towards it and money he may have otherwise spent on himself. Wedding rings are bought together, either by equally sharing the financial burden or by her at least picking it herself.

[genericname85]

I don't know about that. People normally only start sharing the same finances after marriage. Not before. At least in my country

[Looksnicholas]

I voted nothing or no ring at all, is what I voted. I just feel like I wouldn't bother with rings, even wedding rings would annoy my long bony fingers or boney fingers.

And also, it's been a dream in my head in recent years, just to have a more modern wedding than a totally traditional wedding. Lol.

But hey it doesn't bother me, I'm just my own opinion and people if they want to choose to buy themselves expensive rings or cheap rings or whatever. 👀

[artsy_dragon]

The ones I were looking at were no more than £250 I would say. My sister's engagement ring cost £1,000 amd it was meh. She also got a £1,000 Louis Viton bag but yet her and her husband can't even afford to buy a house or even rent a flat 🤦‍♀️

Also they are going to Spain in a few weeks after just coming back from Asia a few months ago 🤦‍♀️😂

[boobliker]

I was told It should cost more than half a years wages of the boy

so if you earn 12k a year then it should cost 7K

But, if you earn 120k a year then it should cost 70K

my son-in-law is a jobing builder on about 25k plus he spent 22k on the ring? stupid man i said she's not worth that much

[admles]

There is no "should", but my wife's (married 11th December this year) ring cost me $2800, normally $3200 but some bargaining got me a nice discount.

Any woman who says things like "3 months salary", which was just made up by the De Beers corp, is someone to be careful of.

[DizzyDesii]

My dream ring costs anywhere from 2400-3800 but thats ridiculous for a piece if jewelry that i’d likely lose. He can propose with a $100 ring and i’d be happy. Shit the mf could give me a ring pop long as he proposing

[Dinklex3]

I don't think there's a set price on what a ring should cost.

I'm not interested in an engagement ring or wedding tbh.

I'm all for matching jewelry though simply because i think it's cute. There's no set price though.

[Jemini_Crocket]

100-200 but I don't think there it is a "should" matter. It's just what I'd find as balanced. Not extremely expensive nor cheap.

[Asker]

I mean, in perspective 100 is pretty cheap when just one of his game systems costs between 300-500

[Jemini_Crocket]

Thankfully I have never been with a gamer guy though I used to be into games a lot lol

[pupluv45]

it really depends on how much money the guy has. if you marry a homeless man, he will propose to you with a 3 dollar ring from the candy machine. if you marry a broke man, a 500 dollar ring might very well be out of his reach.